Best Thing Cheney Ever Did

Cheney recently described him telling Senator Leahy to go “@#$% yourself” as the “best thing I ever did.” I don’t know; that kind of sells shooting a lawyer in the face with a shotgun short.

So what’s your favorite thing Cheney ever did? I liked the time he announced a speech in a desert just to trick protesters there so he could kidnap them and force them to work in one Haliburton’s underground uranium mines.

38 Comments

  1. Wow, read the comments on that link. And the left blame us for words inciting violence…

    I have a feeling that this is going to turn into a Chuck Norris joke comment section, with the name “Chuck Norris” replaced by “Dick Cheney”. I, for one, am OK with that.

  2. I think the best thing Cheney has ever done is speak up against Obama’s “defense” “policies” (I feel like I’m doing both of those words injustice next to President Obama’s name). Cheney could easily have left office and returned to his silo of gold to putter around on the bulldozer with his top hat and monocle on, but he hasn’t. I like that he’s still fired up enough about the US of A to give forceful voice to conservative principles. If only a couple more of the 40-something guys – to say nothing of my slacker twentysomething generation – had that much energy!

    Also, Frank – I’m disappointed in your use of the past tense for the title of this post. Or have you abandoned all that you stand for and given up on the idea of Dick Cheney with a rocket launcher riding a dinosaur through Riyadh?

  3. The best thing Cheney did was when he choked out Admiral Ozzel through the viewscreen for bring the fleet out of lightspeed too close to the Hoth system. I mean come on, cant beat that. Amazing!

  4. The best thing Cheney did was when he choked out Admiral Ozzel through the viewscreen for bring the fleet out of lightspeed too close to the Hoth system. I mean come on, cant beat that. Amazing!

    I’m still waiting for him to smack some kid out of the whining teenager stage then throw the Emperor into a reactor

  5. And by the way, Dick Cheney’s greatest thing ever done: anonymously donating his vital bodily fluid to sperm banks nationwide over the past 40 years. Watch out world, even a person only genetically half-Cheney is still more awesomely powerful than a normal human.

  6. Mikee – i read the comments there too – man are they a bunch of angry folk – wowee

    I dont know if using Darth Vader as an insult really works – I would totally dig it.

    Now JarJar would be a different story – thems fightin’ words

  7. I’m sort of undecided between the time that he gave Barney Frank a giant wedgie for no particular reason and the time that he forced Keith Olbermann to have sex with Helen Thomas.

  8. OK Frank. Someone gave you an opportunity to do something truly monumental on the internets. Its high time we decide who is better, Chuck Norris or Dick Cheney. This would be the single most hardest decision ever made by anyone, any time, any where. Then lets link it to HuffPo and the Kos Kids so we can see their heads explode.

  9. I really liked the time when Cheney threw tourists and media types out of Lafayette Park (a public park by the way, open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year 365 days a year) because a group of gay military (active and retired) members chained themselves to the fence in front of the White House. Not only did they close a public park they did it in a very Gestapo like way. If you don’t believe me look it up on you tube yourself………….

    Oh wait my bad that wasn’t Cheney, that was the Obama Administration, the most transparent administration EVER.

    So sorry.

  10. In a display of awesomeness he once parted the Potomac River in order to lead the Republicans to the promised land. Later he shot a lawyer just because he could….and got away with it! Today he is still capable of driving lefties to near hysteria by merely speaking with the media. Has the ability to silence critics by telling them to go Eyjafjallajökull themselves. Occasionally is seen in public disguised as a burning bush.

  11. Every time Dick Cheney and Chuck Norris are mentioned in the same sentence, the awesomeness threshold is breached, creating a quantum singularity somewhere in the universe, hopefully near a smelly hippie. There, it just happened again.

    Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris wears Dick Cheney pajamas. Dick Cheney doesn’t wear pajamas because awesomeness never sleeps!

  12. he could have forced Keith to have sex with Barny Frank. After all,Olb only gets that “excited” over Barry, so much so that Michelle had to kick his @ss, twice, just to calm him down.

  13. Man, reading those comments and imagining all those liberal woozies drolling and shivering at the mere mention of “Dick Cheney” is the best thing Cheney ever did. I want to be that, someone who’s mere mention causes all those so called progressives to burst into flames.

  14. “Its high time we decide who is better, Chuck Norris or Dick Cheney.”

    Why? To decide who will serve at Fred Thompson’s right hand? (The consolation prize here is serving at Fred Thompson’s left hand, of course.)

  15. #22, That was my favorite.

    I had the chance to watch both Vice-Presidential debates (Cheney-Lieberman & Cheney-Edwards).

    The first was like watching the angry samurai beat the crap out of Tom Cruise with a stick on “The Last Samurai”.

    The second was like watching a bear play with a bunny before messily devouring it. John Edwards -the silky pony with the golden tongue- was oumatched, outshined, and outclassed in every possible way. It was the single best moment of the BC04 campaign and I shall never forget it. I can only imagine the pain liberals felt watching this splatterfest. It must have been like being on the wrong end of one of those “Hostel” torture scenes.

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