About this upcoming election, Nancy Pelosi said, “I would rather be in our position right now than theirs.” You ever get the idea that maybe she’s not living in reality? To add to it, here are some other statements she made:
OTHER STATEMENTS BY NANCY PELOSI
“There will be one clear message in November: More stimulus, please!”
“Our first order of business after the election will be to build a monument to commemorate the passing of Obamacare.”
“Anything less than the Democrats gaining sixty more seats in the House will be considered a disappointment.”
“On November 3rd, Harry Reid, Obama, and I will meet with top mountain carvers so they can get started on the next Mount Rushmore.”
“What I keep hearing from voters is, ‘Wow! Look at all these jobs! It’s almost too many! Please stop making so many jobs, Pelosi.'”
“Tea Parties. I hear your concern. We’ll get single-payer health care as soon as we can.”
“Our economic plan is going to do even better than we predicted because we have top leprechaun accountants working on it.”
“The only problem we’ll have this election is building enough stables to hold all the unicorns happy voters will reward us with.”
“I am not a witch.”
“A witch?”
“Yes!”
“Shep, you just never learned to spell.”
(Bell, Book, and Candle)
*Right now there are no troops outside Baghdad Airport
*I must agree with the masses that cap-and-trade is the most important issue facing us today, and we must ram it through congress immediately so we can figure out what to put in it.
*There’s really nothing wrong with that cake, so just shut up and eat it already.
*I’ve struck a bargain with the Chinese for these magic beans that will solve all our financial woes
* The Iraqi lions are slaughtering the American jackals!
* The anti-submarine warfare tactics of the Imperial Japanese Navy are a complete success!
* I know what I’m talking about!
When I’m flying from Washington DC back to California in my private 757 aircraft I like to look out the window at all the people down on the ground. They all look just like….ants.
Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: …because they’re made of… wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!… It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: …Exactly. So, logically…
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck… she’s made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore…
Peasant 2: …A witch!
“We’re going to ask those nice boys from IMAO to run the House blog.”
“If I lose my gavel, I’ll have to use my navel…I’ll be the next IMAO T-Shirt babe.”
“Stop puking”
@ Cold Guy
Peasant 4 – Feces
“soon there will be a Pelosi network, with 24 Pelosi in honor of her majesty and greatness”
New awesome cop mpvie..”Dirty Nancy”
The ten dollar bill will bear her likenss and be called The Nancy.
The church will start annointing with botox.
“The tinfoil keeps the rays from reaching my brain.”
“I soon expect the budget deficit to be reduced thanks to the efforts of a very helpful Nigerian banker and lawyer I’m in correspondence with.”
“Math is hard!”
“top leprechaun accountants” – as long as they’re not just run of the mill leprechaun accountants
Hey, I thought I had the Nigerian thing all locked down. Just sent them all my bank account records and a small check as per instructed. Am now just waiting for the gobs of cash to come rolling in. I plan to buy a Mercedes and put some neon and spinners on it…
@FormerHostage – hat tip on the 419 hit! Ha!
“I know we’re spending like there’s no tomorrow, because, there’s no tomorrow!!”
” I am the eggman. I am the walrus goo goo gajoob.”
Voters consider me a roll model to show that a woman can be both beautiful and intelligent.
Seriously, my office has three Nigeriann scam FAXES in the last week. Who faxes this stuff anymore?
Out of touch with reality – Yes.
Out of touch with the Earth – not yet. But she’s working on executive privilege to disregard the law of gravity.
Is nancy pelousy out of touch with reality? Is showering with bwarney fwank a bad idea?
Is nancy pelousy out of touch with reality? Is riding in a car with teddy kennedy a bad idea?
Is nancy pelousy out of touch with reality? Is visiting the moon just after FrankJ acquires nukes a bad idea?
Hey! I’m so busy doing stuff for the American people that I forgot to sign my post (#4)…Nancy Pelosi, flying over your house…you ant you.
She needs a long rest in a peaceful island retreat.
I hear Alcatraz is available.
“To the Tea Baggers, we have heard you and we will be fiscally responsible during the next session.” “The bottom tax rate will now be 70% and the top rate will be 110%.” “We are going to make the rich pay their fair share!”
“During the coming session, we’re going to pass cap and trade so we can see what’s in it.”
“We’re also going to hold an investigation to find out what I knew and when I knew it about advanced interrogation.”
“Because unemployment benefits are the biggest boost to the economy, we’re now encouraging companies to lay off more workers.”
“If Republicans are elected, 500 million jobs created by ObamaCare will be lost.”
“What’s so important about saying something smart? My face is so tight it’s a miracle I can get words out at all.”