So, Joe Biden told a bunch of 3rd graders that “Obama is really cool“.

Problem is, Obama’s a smoker.

Now everyone knows – as Frank & I once discussed in a podcast [at the 11:37 mark] – that smoking is cool. But it’s just not good for kids.

Know what else is cool?

* Sparkly vampires

* Lower back tattoos

* Pants on the ground

* Genital piercings

* Che Guevera

* IMAO

Know which ones are good for you?

None of them.

Until either the moon gets nuked or dinosaurs come equipped with rocket launchers.

Then you can get your genitals pierced.

Ok, I get that Palin’s “party like it’s 1773” remark was a reference to the Boston Tea Party.

And I get that Kos and Ifill were dumb to make fun of it.

But I don’t get WHY they made fun of it.

What year did they think she should’ve said instead?

So one of the terrorist leaders we’re trying to kill right now, he attended a luncheon at the Pentagon… shortly after 9/11.

What? I guess that could have been a good idea. “Suspicious Muslim leaders, come to Pentagon for free lunch. All meals will be prepared the Muslim version of kosher. Lots of food, no assassinations!” And guess what they’d find when they got there? VERY LITTLE FOOD AND LOTS OF ASSASSINATIONS!

But that wasn’t what went down. It’s like with the Fort Hood shooter not even bothering to look at suspicious signs. As I’ve said before, this is how the liberal mind works on racism. First, we decide we can’t just be suspicious of Muslims because that’s racist so we also throughly check white 80 year olds boarding planes. And then some liberal says, “Hey, know what would be even less racist? We only check white 80 year olds and are never ever suspicious of Muslims.” And thus Muslims get away with behavior that would set off red flags with any other group but officials ignore it so not to look racist.

For people to get along with peaceful Muslims and not worry, they have to know there is a low tolerance by officials for things like tepid support of Hamas. But those sort of people get called “moderate”. America should only allow the nicest, most peaceful Muslims who hate terrorism more than anything. Any who even offers the slightest sympathy for terrorism should be fired out of a cannon into the sea. And then everyone gets along and is peaceful.

So Soros is giving Media Matters one… million… dollars. This is kind of weird to conservatives because we’re used to whining about media bias all the time for free, but apparently you have to pay the left to do it. One million dollars to constantly complain about FOX News — that’s a pretty good deal. I’d certainly do it for that sort of money. Here’s one complaint: There’s something about Shepherd Smith I never quite liked. There, now some rich liberal nut better send me a hundred bucks.

And you may have heard that Juan Williams got fired from NPR for saying on FOX News that Muslims were involved with 9/11. While Media Matters may love to try and pretend to get outraged over any little error they find, it’s always going to be the accurate things FOX News reports that will make those type of wieners the angriest. The reason liberals hate FOX News and obsess over it despite controlling pretty much all other media is there are really true things they never wanted anyone to talk about — things that poke holes in their silly little fantasy world — and FOX News brings them up on a daily basis.

Maybe this will help liberals calm down: Remember when Reagan came to power? There wasn’t FOX News or even right-wing talk radio. So you’re going to lose no matter what because your ideas just suck that bad. If it’s inevitable, no reason to worry.

Zombie has a list of what metaphor to use based on how many seats Republicans gain in the House. The list goes to some pretty high numbers, which makes me want to remind you what the puppy blender says. That’s right, he says, “Mmm… puppies!” But I was thinking of the other thing he says: “Don’t get cocky.”

Now, I’m looking for a gain of more than fifty on November (labeled an “asskicking” on Zombie’s list). That would be a solid rebuke and I think very attainable (Intrade has the possibility for that now at about 75%). Anything more than that would be nice too, but not going to go into November expecting it. I still hold out hope for this possibility, though.

How many House seats are you expecting the Republicans to gain?