That’s Odd

In an interview, Hillary Clinton said “I’m an eater of chips.”

Huh. I thought she was on a very strict diet of souls & babies.

Giant Jesus Statue

The largest Jesus statue has been completed in Poland, even bigger than the one in Rio de Janeiro. That isn’t like a requirement, right? I mean is Jesus going to come back and we’ll be like, “We’ve been devoted followers of you.” And He’ll be like, “Then where is your giant Jesus statue?”

Of course, will Jesus even think the statue looks like him? From all the art, statues, and tortilla appearances, all you do is depict a guy with a beard and that’s assumed to be Jesus. Jesus may want some more accuracy, though.

Still, a giant Jesus statue might be worth considering if they keep away vampires.

Let’s Help the Democrats with Better Messaging

Democrats have figured out what they did wrong: Messaging.

Yep, their ideas were like super awesome, but they didn’t sell them right. Part of that was their slogan, “Shut up, you stupid, violent racist!” That just didn’t seem to connect with voters who remain unconvinced of how stupid, violent and racist they were. And then there were all the great things Democrats did:

* Spent trillions of dollars… for some reasons. Maybe to help with jobs or something.

* Created giant, expensive new government program of Obamacare that will somehow magically reduce the deficit… possibly through the help of unicorns.

* Created or saved millions — perhaps billions — of invisible jobs.

* Finally stood up to stupid, violent racists (i.e., Americans) and told them to shut up.

So the Democrats had all these great accomplishments, but somehow people focused on the minor details that the economy is in shambles, people are out of work, and now we’re way deeper in debt because of Democrat’s spending they didn’t want (not wanting it because they were stupid, violent, and racist). So what can Democrats do to improve their messaging and get people to recognize all they’ve done?

Here’s my idea for messaging for the Democrats:

Just replace the UFO with a job Obama has saved or created.

Could Keith Olbermann Possibly Be Biased?

I have some disturbing news. Apparently Keith Olbermann has been caught making political donations to Democrats.

How dare you, sir. How dare you.

This has to be quite a shock for those of you who have been watching Olbermann for years for his unbiased news reporting — a betrayal even. Could Olbermann’s reporting have been biased all this time? I don’t know, but you have to suspect it. It could be quite subtle, but for all we know there could have been a tilt in his broadcast towards Democrats and against Republicans. I can’t think of anything off hand, but now I have to question everything he’s told me. It’s like my whole reality has been shaken at the foundation.

Keith Olbermann, though, did leave this message for his fans:

He does sound sincerely sorry. That didn’t stop MSNBC from suspended him, though, as they won’t let any bias be present on their new network. Olbermann will be back Tuesday, and hopefully by then he’ll have learned his lesson and go back to treating both sides fairly. Until then, Olbermann will be replaced with an excessively barking dog. It hasn’t worked out too well with the rest of the network, though, as Chris Matthews reportedly attacked and bit it.

Random Thoughts

Remember when Obama was elected and everyone was praising his communications skills and now that’s what he blames everything on?

Obama thinks the American public didn’t understand his message, and now Americans know Obama didn’t understand theirs.

Someone needs to deliver this message to Obama loud and clear: “The American public is smarter than you.”

Jeb Bush and Liz Cheney should run together. If they do, a Bush/Cheney ticket should run on change.

If a tree fell in the woods and Sarah Palin was there to see it, would it be national news?

So what are your plans for your Palin party for the premiere of Sarah Palin’s Alaska? Like how much booze?

I suspect the one telling Obama to remain stubborn is the mustachioed Rarl Kove. Don’t trust that guy…

Democrats can’t afford to give up those 8% of independents who think Pelosi is doing a good job.

So far the lesson the Democrats seemed to have learned from their shellacking is do absolutely nothing different.

Similarly, when the GOP eventually loses the House, their lesson learned will be, “Boehner needs to be more orange!”

When I was about to cry when my daughter was born, I got control of myself. Similarly, I expect more restraint from Boehner.

They’re suspending Olbermann for contributing to Democrats? Even I can’t pretend to care about that infraction.

“What? Olbermann is biased! We never knew until now!” Come on.

Didn’t think I’d defend Olbermann, but this is just stupid. it’s no revelation to anyone who MSNBC anchors are in the tank for.

Well, I’d tell Olbermann how I think this is a travesty, but he blocked me on Twitter.

Pelosi gets to stick around as a target. Doesn’t seem fair that Olby has to go.

And when are we clear to talk about how we rigged this last election, because I thought it was pretty clever what we did.

What I proposed jokingly a while back in PJM, Bob Kerrey is now proposing for real. Obama would be a lot better at president if we reduced what that entailed.

I hope one day Windows has enough AI that can insult it to its face and make it cry.

Why is it called a “comic” book when seeing a grown man read one is so sad?

Anyone remember that controversial Price Is Right where they had to guess the value of a human life? The guy who underbid everyone by guessing a dollar won it.

Not impressed with Outsourced, but they had a literate gun joke. When describing a water balloon launchers: “It’s right at the border of toy and weapon – like a .22 caliber rifle.”

Did some preaching at evening worship. That always makes me nervous as I’m afraid I might accidentally say something pro-devil.