lolbama! Part 52

NOTE: I’m going on vacation toward the end of the month to a happy place with little to no internet access, so there’ll be little to no posting from me except for the Podcast Scraps this weekend. Look for lolterizt! to return on December 7th, followed by lolbama! on the 14th.

Meanwhile, go ahead and submit your captions now to avoid the holiday rush.

This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


From Kris:

[reference link]

From Larry:

From Mike B:

From me (Harvey):

From me (Harvey):

[reference link]

From me (Harvey):

From Travelwise42:

Irritable Pundit has an entry that’s better viewed full-size. Go thither.


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Kris:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Kris:

From Kris:

From me (Harvey):

[reference link]

From Shane:


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Congress Duty

P.J. O’Rourke has a good article on how we lost in this election because all we did was elect a bunch more politicians. People are always arguing over who is the true conservative in the race, but it’s a trick question because a true conservative wouldn’t even get in the race. Politics is a liberal job; it’s about not doing anything useful but meddling with people who do. Why would a conservative want that?

So instead of our current system designed to make sure our government is run by ambitious sociopaths, I’ve always like the idea that O’Rourke outlines that we instead have Congress more like jury duty. We randomly select people to represent us and you can’t get out of it until your term is up. Then we can maybe get that mythical true conservative in Congress — the guy who is only in government under threat of law.

What’s Going on in Congress Now

So a few things going on in Congress now as we wait for the new guys to take over. One is they’re talking about the earmark ban, and the reasons that’s even has to be discussed is why I hate all politicians. Basically, they bribe their constituents to reelect them with billions of other people’s money. And when you steal that much money, that should be a hanging offense. Which reminds me of one of my reforms for Congress: Right outside the Capitol Building should be the hanging tree. That’s where Congressmen who do wrong end up. They may not listen to censure or public opinion, but everyone listens to hanging.

There is also talk of trying to ram through amnesty in the lame duck session. Just think of all those people who avoided the law for so long waiting to see what prizes they can win! Of course, Democrats figure if they can make more people here illegally voting citizens, that’s more votes for them and they don’t care how they get those. Probably one day they’ll propose letting other countries vote in the U.S. since what we do affects everyone, and guess how things will turn out if Europe votes here. It would be the biggest blow to democracy since letting women vote.

Anyway, they kept saying the GOP is the party of “No” and that when the new guys come nothing will get done. I’m hoping for a lot of that.

Frank Ideas for Airport Security

People are starting to get a little fed up with the TSA. I guess the idea of them is to take naked pictures and molest anyone who tries to go on a plane so that terrorists will be far too uncomfortable to ever go through with a terror attack. Still, it’s not fun for non-terrorists who also don’t like being molested. Maybe we can come up with some better ideas for how to do airport security.

OTHER IDEAS FOR AIRPORT SECURITY

* Some sort of written test that evaluates how Muslimy you are and looks for dangerous levels of Muslimness (I wonder how Obama would do on that test).

* Terrorists don’t like pigs, so guess who is sitting in every other seat? Did you guess pigs? That is the correct guess.

* There is no reasons to go on a plane in Muslim garb other than to make Juan Williams nervous. Scrutinize those people carefully!

* Keep terrorists arch-nemesis on ever flight: ninjas. Or am I thinking of pirates?

* If someone on a flight asks which direction Mecca is, don’t tell him! He probably just wants to do his pre-exploding prayer!

* Actually screen for suspicious people — even if that can look like profiling — instead of all this useless, CYA nonsense like confiscating water bottles to attack whatever the last threat was.

What are your ideas for airport security?

Random Thoughts

I saw Scott Pilgrim vs. the World over the weekend and I enjoyed it. If more people saw it, I think they would have enjoyed it too.

Just realized when I’m talking about something from the 1st season of Simpsons, I’m now talking about something more than twenty years ago. We’re old.

I’d be okay with security theater if there were more plot twists. Like sometimes we discover weapons on the TSA agents and arrest them.