Archive of entries posted on 3rd November 2010

Frank Riddles

Posted by on

Can’t believe solving the last riddle took so long. Thought it would be too easy since I posted on the day of the first game of the World Series. Anyway, Elliot wins the HIGH PRAISE.

Now, riddle me this…

I cherish you,
But I stab you to destroy another.
And by your wounds
It is known who has failed.

Be the first to solve the riddle and write the answers in the comments and that HIGH PRAISE you’ve waited your whole life for will finally be yours!

What Obama Will Say

Posted by on

Democrats suffered a huge loss, but President Obama is going to speak on TV at 1pm today, so that should solve everything. Here is my speculation on what he’ll possibly say:

WHAT PRESIDENT OBAMA WILL PROBABLY SAY

“I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling Tea Partiers!”

“STOP YELLING AT ME!!!”

“I thought I made it clear I had no idea what I was doing from the start, so I don’t get why you’re all so angry now.”

“Yay! I did another historic thing!”

“I missed what happened can someone help get this bucket off my head?”

“I’m sad to hear that Harry Reid will be leaving us… What? He was reelected? Really?”

“Is it because I’m black?”

“I’m not giving you Republicans the keys to the car! And the ditch is mine too!”

“So if I’m understanding the Tea Parties, you’re saying you want even more health care reform.”

“I will now read you a list of people who will be going under the bus…”

“Did I do that?”

“I’m doing a good job and just need to spend more! Don’t any of you read Paul Krugman?”

“I enjoy flying in a helicopter. Thup thup thup thup!”

“I blame this all on Slurpees.”

So What Just Happened?

Posted by on

First off, let’s all take a moment out of our day to laugh at Alan Grayson.

Done?

So, what to say about all this? The gains in the House are +60 right now with 13 races left to be called, +6 in the Senate with 3 races left to be called, and +8 in governors with 9 left to be called. Also, I’m hearing that something like 19 state legislatures have flipped. On the House, that’s above expectations — historic, really — but expect Democrats to focus on the Senate where Republicans are below polling expectations to try and spin this as mixed results. There were a few screw ups there — and I’m not going to name names — as there were a number of seats that could have been picked up if we nominated people a bit less… crazy.

Well, live and learn… unless you’re Obama. He’ll come out today blaming this on people not understanding his policies. And now we’ll spend two years trying to block his idiocy (he could barely get things passed with a Democrat majority; now he has to convince at least dozens of Republicans to go along with him). And I wouldn’t expect to be able to pass anything useful since Obama has made it is cause in life to be obstacle to useful things, but that shouldn’t stop the GOP from trying.

Anyway, the main lesson from the election is that if you suck and are stupid — like Obama — you will have a big defeat. So it’s nice to know while that’s not true of certain states like California, it is still true of the nation at large. Now it is up to the Republicans to start to learn how to not suck and be stupid. That is a lot of learning for them.

2012 will still be mainly in the control of Obama. If he somehow learns how to not be horrendous and an enemy of all that is good, Democrats should be able to do well in 2012. And if pigs learn how to fly, that will revolutionize how we export bacon.

Anyway, GOP presidential primary for 2012 starts today. Who do you want?

Random Thoughts

Posted by on

I can’t wait until one day we have robocalls in support of robot candidates.

Tonight I’m going to party like it’s 1999. I didn’t really party much in 1999.

When Al Gore tries to call voters, he spends most of his time trying to convince them he’s not a robocall.

So Buttercup will first be able to vote in 2028. Better start working for her vote now. She likes shiny things.

Almost forgot my “I Voted” sticker. Luckily we have observant poll workers.

So how much of our tax money is spent on stickers?

Was disappointed I didn’t get a cookie after voting. Think I got voting confused with giving blood.

Ever notice how action movie stars tend to lean more right than Hollywood at large?

Be funny if Dems busing voters all get stuck in ditches.Mmm… Slurpee.

Any Senator elected today will be around for the entire first term of President Palin.

Election night prediction: My daughter will do something cute and I’ll be like, “Aww…”

Do you think Alan Grayson’s concession speech will just be a primal scream?

Rand Paul’s victory speech: Nothing but head stomping.

Dems were unable to stop Rubio. Think of how things would be different now if Jack Ryan hadn’t screwed up his Senate race against Obama.

Liberals don’t get that no matter how much they shout at the Tea Parties, they’re the extremists to the majority of Americans.

This is the first election in my recollection where I’ve live-blogged with a baby strapped to me.

If we’ve learned anything from this election, it’s that Aqua Buddha is very powerful and shouldn’t be angered.

Huckabee using a Twilight analogy for the election. That guy is hip and with it.

This whole punishing our enemies idea of Obama was great advice.

With all these new Republican, so many more people to purge!

I’m a little disappointed Alan Grayson was only beaten by 18 percentage points.

Well good night for Republicans… with hopefully some lessons learned on electability.

Comedians have been unable to make jokes about Obama, which is weird since Americans have been laughing at him for a while.