In an interview, Hillary Clinton said “I’m an eater of chips.”
Huh. I thought she was on a very strict diet of souls & babies.
In an interview, Hillary Clinton said “I’m an eater of chips.”
Huh. I thought she was on a very strict diet of souls & babies.
We she is married to the Dip.
Computer chips, Harvey.
Helps her keep that robotic charm.
I was thinking buffalo chips.
Chipped
beefbaby.You better watch out, Harvey, I’m hearing her thighs are stronger than ever! (I heard that via ussjimmycarter who is her workout coach and crunch assistant).
Chippped stolen souls covered in a tasty demon blood gravy. Yummo.
Cow chips, buffalo chips, Pelosi chips, etc.
I thought she was endearingly good humored during the interview. And about that, I feel exceedingly weird.
Please tell me it’s not Utz. Liberals have stolen so much from me. I won’t let them take away my Utz.
In an interview, Michelle Obama said “I’m an eater of chips but you can’t be”
Lead paint chips, we hope.
She also went on to say:
* I am a watcher of TV.
* I am a wearer of pant suits.
* I am a cutter of farts.
* I am a smoker of cigars.
* I am a breather of air.
Not chips – chicks.
Oh, I’m a bad, bad cat.
Not even marginally cultured, this damned cat.
1) How to give a DamnCat a pill: Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL:
1) Wrap it in bacon.
zz…now that one got me laughing! we have three Ragdoll cats, two females and a male who weighs 40lbs and isn’t fat! We have tried everything imaginable and you cannot, I repeat you cannot give a cat a pill!
DamnCat, you had me with that one! I hadn’t thought of that and it struck my funny bone! Excellent!
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Something about nad cooking with your laptops for all you geeks like Frank!
Why is it at the very mention of Hitlery’s name the very walls fairly drip with testosterone? I’m surely not a fan of hers but you guys have really outdone yourselves here.
Wow.
ussjimmycarter…… laptop nad cooking. That’s why those computer geels are so geeky and single.
Yea, I’d never heard of nad baking before! Do they like shrivel up to the size of raisins or something? Boy that’s got to have the TSA puzzled when they do the nad shuffle when you refuse a full body scan. Can’t you see some $7.50 per hour TSA employee (black/female) saying “boy you aren’t packin’ much in those shorts” just loud enough for everyone to hear!
Now I’m dripping with something… Oh. It’s coffee. Never mind.
Maybe because she’s a testosterone extractor? I mean, look what she did to Bill. He’s now all thin and gaunt and stuff.
Of course she does!!! I bet she eats chimps, monkies, apes and….what? Chips?….oh…………..never mind.
It’s kind of funny how the two fat first ladies are constantly talking about food.