Apparently there is a new game coming out about Nazis getting the dinosaur before the American military does. It’s a lot like Nazis getting the atomic bomb first, but a million times worse.
Luckily, we defeated those Nazis in real life and don’t have to worry about them, but there could be future Nazis. Nazis with jetpacks and laser guns. And do we want those Nazis getting the dinosaur before we do? It’s time to prioritize in this country; that means drastically cutting entitlements and putting a lot of that money into dinosaur research. That’s how you win the future.
If Nazis had acquired dinosaurs I’m pretty sure it would resemble “The View” during their Rosie O’Donnell era.
We just steal all their Science!-tists, and cloister them away in Area 51 with a Black-Ops Budget.
We’ll have dinosaurs that can travel 88 MPH, Nuclear Flux Capacitors, with lasars and rocket launchers in no time at all. Winning! The Future.
Thinking about video games: Anyone remember the Final Fantasy games? I remember that in at least two, the plotline required that the entire world be pretty much blowed up before you could finish the game.
This reminds me a little of progressive ideology: In order to Win the Future, you must first Destroy the Present.
If nazis had dinosaurs, people would like the iPad, cell phones would still be like bricks, and duhbama would be an American.
If nazis had dinosaurs, we’d all be kaumping, and eating snitzle und frites, und voasting maursh der mallows.
If nazis had dinosaurs, Frank vud bea vunny, und you vud like ott!!
Simple. We just leave a laptop with the plans for a dinosaur launcher on it in the train station. Only their launcher when activated launches 1 missile on a nazi city and the other explodes on the dinosaur. “Stuxnetosaurus”.
If we smuggled in the right kind of hormones into Nazi Germany and put them into the vegetables at the Nazi’s top secret dinosaur ranch, the dinosaurs would quickly mutate into a colony of Barneys strong enough to love and hug their way clear across Poland.
Nazi’s! Funny stuff! So like would a Nazi Dinosaur have to stick one leg out straight and wear a stupid looking mustache under it’s nose? How about goose stepping? I don’t think Dino’s are built for that one! I think we could talk the Dinosaur’s over to our side with some good food and some good looking Dinosaur chicks like Rosie or Oprah…
I’d rather spend money on headless Norwegian Thompson gunners.
Little-known fact. Nazi’s had dinosaurs. But, we had Marines.
But Frank, if we get dinosaurs, the Russians and Chinese are going to want them, too. And we’d have to give them to the British right away (’cause that’s the arrangement) and then the stupid French will want them and we all know they can’t even manage their own French Poodles. And of course, Canada won’t touch dinosaurs but will gladly live under our dinosaur umbrella forever.
So, at first, there will be a “dinosaur gap” and then after a few years, dinosaur proliferation leading to a Dinosaur Non-Proliferation Treaty that everyone ignores – and an atmospheric Dinosaur Test Ban. Then, North Korea and Iran will threaten us for years afterwards with dinosaur nucular war. Are you sure this is worth it?
And I didn’t even mention the whole problem of “anti-dinosaur dinosaur” development leading to an ADD Treaty that WE break, which will result in dinosaurs using “lasers” to shoot other dinosaurs with “lasers.” The possible parallels with the our nuclear age are mind-boggling.
I smell fish cooking.
Never thought I’d live to see the day. America is falling behind in the dino-race, we still have no space lazers, and the moon goes on day after day unnuked. All the while Wisconsin teachers get fatter and dumber on the public dole. How’s that hope & change working out?
Preach it, Son of Bob. Preach it!
“Iron Sky” is a movie in post -production about the Nazis that
developed anti-gravity in 1945 and built a base on the dark side of the Moon where they are preparing an invasion force.
Nuke the Moon, an idea whose time has certainly come.
One problem with Dino’s. The Griz! He isn’t going to cotten to a new guy on the block being all scary and stuff and the Grizzlies will start eating our Dino’s. Then where will we be? You can’t beat the Griz for being mean and nasty!
It doesn’t matter who gets the dinosaurs first. It matters who can figger out how to get the rocket launches on them first. And then figger out how to make them go where they are supposed to go without blowing up New York or some thing. Well maybe it would be ok to blow up New York, but NIMBY.
I’m sure that once we get our dinosaurs, the Dims will want strict controls, and permits and gov’t databases of Dinosaur owners because dinosaurs are scary. Remember:’ When you outlaw dinosaurs, only outlaws with have dinosaurs.
MarkoMancuso says:
March 8th, 2011 at 6:32 pm
I’d rather spend money on headless Norwegian Thompson gunners.
NICE!!!
I’d never heard of headless Norwegian Thompson gunners before so I looked it up.
…Roland, the headless Thompson gunner… Oh great! now I’ll have that tune stuck in my head all night!