Well, it’s Earth Day. Whoop-de-frikkin’-do. I was thinking about cutting down some trees and burning some tires to celebrate. But, that’d be a lot of work. And I’m tired.
In fact, I’m not going to even write a post about it. Instead, I’m going to find an old post and run it.
I will change it around a little bit, though. Instead of my traditional picture I’ve used for a while — me as a toddler, circa 1960 — I’ll change it to that more recent photo I’ve started using. Since all the baby pictures around here should properly be of the real boss of IMAO, Buttercup.
Oh, and while I’m at it, I’ll use a different picture for our friend from Mars.
And I’ll fix a link that has since been taken down.
Well, heck. It would have been easier to write a whole new post. But, that’s how things go. You start out with something simple, then start messing with it, and it becomes more work than you’re saving.
There’s a life lesson in there, if I can just figure out what it is.
Anyway, here’s that rerun (mostly) of an Earth Day post from a couple of years back.
Hello, world. It’s Earth Day.
Let’s talk a little bit about Earth Day, its history, and why it’s important to…
You’re a racist.
What?
You’re a racist.
What do you mean? Why would you say that?
Racist. You are talking about Earth Day.
So?
That’s racist.
How do you figure?
You’re an Earthling. And Earth Day is racist.
Hang on a second…
You hold on a second, Earth creature. The whole concept of Earth Day makes me angry. Very angry, indeed.
Why would you be upset about Earth Day?
I am from Mars. And Earth has been keeping Mars down for years.
How?
It obstructs my view of Venus.
Oh, THAT old complaint.
Let me ask you, creature. When was the first Earth Day?
April 22, 1970.
Um, well, yes, I guess so.
A bunch of environmentalists came up with this, right?
Well, yes.
They were concerned about global cooling, weren’t they?
Yes, actually, they were.
Now, it’s global warming. You Earth creatures are so silly.
Um…
Didn’t the “Keep America Beautiful” campaign begin on the second Earth Day, in 1971?
Yes…
The campaign that starred Iron Eyes Cody, wasn’t it?
Yes, it was. I remember…
He was born in Louisiana to Sicilian immigrants, grew up in Texas, and began pretending to be an American Indian in his adult life. Isn’t that correct?
Well, yes, that’s true…
You Earthlings are so silly.
I didn’t mean to upset you about Earth Day…
You Earth creatures need to look at the big picture. Your environmentalists have some good ideas. But they don’t have perspective.
Well, yes, but …
Your environmentalists would rather pay money to terrorists for oil than to spill some oil on a polar bear.
Um…
And you come up with something like Earth Day? You should show as much respect for the other planets. Like Mars. Or Jupiter. Or Saturn. Or Uranus…
Heh-heh-heh.
He said “Uranus.” Huh-huh-huh-huh.
Yeah, I got Uranus right here, Butt-head.
That is the coolest name for a planet ever.
Heh-heh. Heh-heh. Heh-heh-heh.
Huh-huh. Huh-huh-huh.
I must find my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.
Heh-heh. Heh-heh. Heh-heh-heh.
Huh-huh. Huh-huh-huh.
Please. Find it soon.
Not long (1978) after the first Earth Day, the Northern Hemisphere set a record for percent snow cover: link
The United States’ all-time record was set in 1971 or 1972, I believe. Looks like the original Earth Day’ers were right: global cooling.
(Basil, I’m guessing your photo was taken when you were about 35. Either that or you’re one of those perpetually-young redheads! 🙂 )
[Actually, you’re not too far off. I was still in the Army when that photo was taken. I really need to get a more recent photo. Maybe if I knocked over a liquor store, I could get the city to take one of me.
One of my sisters still has her hair color. Of course, it’s in a bottle. – B]
The life lesson that you are looking for I learned from my father. (It involved replacing two shingles on the tool shed that turned into a two day project.) As Dad put it:
“Before you can do something, you always have to do something else first.”
I’m suprised Marvin failed to mention his grievance over imperialist white men stealing most of Mars’ oxygen and water in exchange for a stupid robot rover (that was delivered waaaay to late)
Best Earth Day Post. Ever. ROFL
Old post? It’s Earth Day. Recycle, baby, recycle!
Kwick Kwestion: How does the media feel about Earth Day versus Easter?
Earth Day was founded by United States Senator Gaylord Nelson…proof positive that Earth Day is ghey.
I just left all my lights on when before going to work, and turn the heat up to about 85. If the heat and the air conditioner weren’t on the same thermostat, I’d have turned them both on at the same time. Just for Earth Day.
I feel I need to increase my consumption enough to cover the drop in consumption of at least one watermelon froot loop.
Being disintegrated makes me VERY ANGRY.
Son of Bob: Gaylord Nelson – Barney Frank: The missing Link, HOMO ELECTUS.
Completely off-topic… did anyone ever mention that you bear a passing resemblance to Billy Mumy?
If I had a bit more confidence in my Marvin, Bevis and Butthead imitations, I would be tempted to make a video out of this for next year! lol (using Basil’s permission and voice too of course!)
To celebrate earth day I took my gas guzzling, smoke belching SUV for a drive in the pristine countryside.
My Earth Day ritual involves hunting for and killing a small, tasty animal. A tree is then chopped to provide firewood to roast said animal. The fire is kindled with the used oil drained on site from my truck. Leftover oil soaks into the ground to refresh the oil table. Last year, the campsite was illuminated by several 150 watt incandescent bulbs, but this year I used whale oil lamps. After a nice cigar, I toss a few spare tires onto the fire to reduce waste and leave the scene after relieving myself in the river.