Today is what used to be called “Black Friday,” the day after Thanksgiving, and one of the busiest shopping days of the year.
The origin of the term is in dispute. It’s commonly thought of as the day that helps retailers go “in the black” (turn a profit) because of the large volume of sales. Early references, however, indicate that the term was coined by transit drivers to refer to troublesome traffic because of the large amount of shoppers’ traffic.
Whatever the origin, it’s become a good thing, with the sales/profit aspect being most common in people’s thoughts.
But, can we still call it “Black Friday?” Isn’t that racist?
You see, sales and profit are hallmarks of capitalism. And capitalism is supported by conservatives — even by conservatives that don’t know they’re conservative. And, since capitalism is tied to conservatives, it must be racist. So, “Black Friday” is racist.
How do we fix it?
Easy. Call it “African-American Friday.”
I know. You’re saying, “That’s stupid.” And, you’d be right. But it’s no more stupid than calling blacks “African-American.” For example, what about Naomi Campbell? Or Lennox Lewis? Or Robin Szolkowy? You can’t call them “African-American.” Unless you’re that CNN anchor who I heard call a Black Briton an “African-American Briton” before stammering slightly and continuing on with the story.
Okay, okay, enough with the logic. On with the show.
Today is “African-American Friday.” Grab your Led Zeppelin IV, throw it in your car stereo, crank up “African-American Dog” and go shopping. You may have someone on your Christmas list who wants a new “African-American & Decker” power tool, so be sure to stop by the hardware store. And, don’t forget college football this weekend. It’s rivalry week, and one of the games in the SEC will be the Bulldogs from Mississippi State hosting the Ole Miss “African-American Bears.”
But, I’m sure there are many other ways to celebrate “African-American Friday.” Find an appropriate way.
Kewl. I have a safe full of African-American Rifles. I feel so PC and wonderful! *warm fuzzy*
I’ve got customers coming in today to buy gear for their African-American Ops with the militia!
Getting into the spirit with a mince pie; the filling comes from that fabu maker of condiments, Crosse & African-Americanwell. Or perhaps that should be Imperialist Crusader Symbolle & African-Americanwell.
For lunch I’m having African-Americaned tuna.
I had a friend who is a US citizen, although she was born in South Africa. That’s about as African American as you can get despite the fact that she is whitey-white. We tried in vain to convince her to claim it on applications.
I miss her sorely. She had overcome bias against African Americans to become a fashion model.
Black Friday was invented by African black people, just like the telephone and the spaceship.
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@CrustyB,
I seem to remember a speech by Obama in which Muslims were credited for art, music, the space program and sliced bread. So, I think you might be wrong.
“Black Friday” always sounded like an end of the world scenario to me. I’ll have to remember that it really means “riots at stores Friday.”
According to Rev. Wright, this is the United States of white America…yet we have a Black Friday? What’s up with that?
There was a mini-riot in LA. A woman sprayed pepper-spray. Everyone involved is probably all African-American and Blue by now. Someone must have received an African-American eye. Good thing Arnold African-AmericanAfrican-American is no longer governor to get the blame just because he’s a Republican. I wonder if all the excitement was over Kung Fu Panda 2 starring Jack African-American.
African and Decker. HA!
can a white guy be African American?
Paulo said he was “white, African, American” – and that didn’t sit well with some people. (By the way, Paulo says “the people who were offended were not people of color.”) Yes, they were people of no brains.
I believe John Kerry is married to an African American but he’d never admit it.
Why are Africans in America? Shouldn’t we like send them home or something? They seem to not like it here much and some aren’t even proud of this country! I think they would be proud of Africa! Let’s build an AfriCannon!!! Black of course! It will need to be a long gun with tight riflin’ so we get them spinning fast for a straight shot! Probably about Mach 3 or 4 up to 70,000 feet and then a nice ride down to the Dark Continent! Cool!!!
@hadsil:
Arnold African-AmericanAfrican-American? Brilliant. Dicey, but still brilliant.
Why aren’t
IndiansI meanNative“Americans”…ummm Indians called North American Americans ?Oh that’s right, they’re not from North America…Former Asian Non-native Native North American Americans of color other than white …people.
And seriously, I’ve always wondered, why didn’t the poor oppressed slaves go back to Africa when they were freed? I’m gonna guess that since a lot of them actually WERE African, they probably knew that it sucked more there then here…and ironically, it still does.
Funny how the
blackummmmnegroummmmcoloredAfrican America hating “leaders” never mention that one. I wonder why that is?By the way, African American & Decker hasn’t been around for years, they lost out to the Asian American Asians I assume.
The political correctness of your argument is well accepted, but for the fact that it no longer goes far enough.
As a more elightened society, we should start being sensitive not only to the differences between “White” Americans, “Black” Americans, and “Hispanic” Americans. The educated readers of this site must surely know that it is well past time when this country should expand our sensitivity to the point where it does not pigeon hole people into such broad, unspecific, general terms. We, as a society, must embrace more cultural-specific terms so that the occupants of this country can be proud of the countries which generations of their ancestors have chosen not to live in. I, for example, will insist from this day on as being referred to as an “Irish-Scottish-Some German or possibly Polish-American”, as a means of making the racist anti-Irish-Scottish-Some German possibly Polish bigots in this country accept the fact that I did not choose to be born in this country which I have no desire to leave! Once we all start insisting on having our entire family tree included in our politically-correct introductions, we will become so individual that we will want to unite. Brilliant! Frank J. does it again ! (It might be worth mentioning that not all Blacks have roots in Africa..or anywhere nearby…so the term African-Americans for all Black Americans is, in itself, prejudiced !)
Critter might just be on to something. Next time lefties start talking about evil African-American rifles, we can call them out that the only reason they think those guns are evil is because they are African-American. Then we can call them out in their obvious racism.
LOL (posted from my African-AmericanBerry)
Does Afro-American count?
I wonder if white African immigrants put African-American on their census form.
Do African countries ask people if they are American-African or African-African?
These are questions that keep me up at night because I’m afraid of being racist.
Just so you aren’t CanadianAmerican!!! They are the scum of the earth!!! They can’t hold a job, do drugs and are like hookers and stuff all over the place! Real low-life’s!!!
Fro-day
Two thoughts: For everyone carping about PC names, do you claim “American” as your national heritage on the US census — as opposed to some ferrin country(ies)?
Two: As one who tries to be a gentleman, I will call somebody whatever they wish to be called, no matter how terribly misguided.
1st thought: Census? Who fills out the census?
2nd thought: I agree. If someone wants to be called a “Martian-American,” I’ll refer to them as a Martian-American: “My dumbass friend Joe is a Martian-American.”
@Basil: I tried to avoid the ’00 census, but they sent an older gent who insisted on collecting my information. When he asked me the national heritage question, I asked if it was O.K. to specify “American.” He said indeed it was and that it was a shame that more people didn’t do that.
Burmashave – did he say if they accept “American Shorthair”?
i just bought my copy of Pokemon African-American Version its fun lol
I would like to point out that while Critter @ #1 is very enlightened to support & sustain a collection of African American fifles…..HE still keeps them LOCKED IN A SAFE! Just another example of da man keepin the. African American rifles down!
@DamnCat: But of course he’d approve; the old gent was definitely a patriot. On the other hand, he would also approve of one of my favorite dog breeds: American Black Dog.