Nuke the News: No Union, No Jobs and In Reagan We Still Trust

* You know how everyone has their idea of what a fair tax plan is? Well, I have now unveiled the “Frank J. Fleming Super Double Extra Fair Tax Plan” at PJ Media and it is the fairest of them all. I mean, it’s crazy fair. You’ll recoil in horror and scream, “No! Too fair!” That’s how fair it is.

* According to Nancy Pelosi, no jobs is better than non-union jobs. And considering how little is union these days, I guess Pelosi wants to see something like 90% unemployment before things start improving.

Again, I ask, why do we give these people any influence whatsoever over business? I wouldn’t trust these people to sort paperclips, and yet we have them making decisions about important things. We won’t have a recovery until these people lose all their power, and we won’t have justice until they live penniless on the streets.

* Obama is taking aim at election laws that prevent fraud because they’re really going to need that edge this next year. Also, some liberals are actually talking about giving children the vote. The left like to claim that the Tea Party are dumb and uninformed, but how come their reelection efforts always amount to them trying to get as many dumb and uninformed people to the polls as possible? I don’t think the left is going to be satisfied until voting for the president is done through an internet poll. And that’s how we’ll end up with Ron Paul as president.

* A new Ronald Reagan statue has been unveiled in D.C., and that made me think you could easily take this column I did comparing Obama to a sack of hammers and replace “sack of hammers” with “Reagan statue”. Think of if: President Ronald Reagan statue. You know he’ll be laissez-faire.

* BTW, in a recent poll, more people wished Ronald Reagan was president for this crisis than wanted FDR back in office. Ha! People trust Reagan over Roosevelt. What a great left-wing realignment Obama started.

* A French satirical newspaper got firebombed for making fun of Mohammad. In the war against Islamists, we need to protect our satire. I can’t stress that enough. I mean, it would really suck if you had all these great Mohammad jokes and couldn’t use them out of fear of firebombs. Me, I am always eating bacon to keep Islamists at bay. Works like a crucifix to a vampire. And is tasty.

* In a radio ad for handgun classes in Texas, it was advertised that the instructor would not teach Muslims or Obama voters. He may be in trouble for discrimination against Muslims, but I don’t see any law that prevents you from refusing service to Obama voters. Maybe it would be illegal, though, if being an Obama voter was taken as evidence of having a mental handicap.

* Wisdom of the Day: “SC sheriff advises on self-defense: ‘don’t get mace, get a firearm.’ If your heart’s set on mace, get the medieval kind with spikes.” –Fred Thompson

* If you want to see NPR attempt humor, this is kind of fascinating from a sociological perspective. It’s a humorous list — like I often do — targeting Metallica. It has a few things that are borderline funny, but as a whole it’s like they have a vague understanding of what humor is, but never quite seized the concept in full. Anyway, your tax dollars helped pay for that, and anything my tax dollars pay for should be as absolutely hilarious as the rest of federal government.

Random Thoughts

Why aren’t there rapes at Tea Party protests? BECAUSE THEY’RE RACIST!

If my tax dollars go towards something, it better be the funniest thing ever… like the rest of government.

I am America’s preeminent right-wing humorist unless someone bigger than me claims otherwise.

Building faster trains still sounds more like a campaign issue from the 19th century.

I do think it’s true to say that the left hate black conservatives more viscerally than white ones. Of course, many of them hate all conservatives so viscerally it’s a small distinction.