* Is the Newt Gingrich surge already over? A poll had him neck and neck in Iowa with Ron Paul (come on!) and another now shows him behind Mitt Romney.

It’s like people were drunk with the idea of a fun Newt Gingrich nomination and now they’ve began to sober up and say, “Maybe this isn’t the smartest idea.” Gingrich is like an unstable substance that’s bound to explode, and the only question is where. We’d like him to blow up our enemies, but he’s just as likely to explode in our faces.

So that leaves Romney, the perennial second choice. The thing is, when people’s first choice flames out, they don’t move Romney up, they just find another first choice. But maybe people are out of alternate first choices now.

* I’ve head some rumblings about Jeb Bush jumping in the race. That would be last minute, but Republicans are looking for a hero to swoop in and save them and I don’t think they’re too picky about who. When the situation is really dire, you feel lucky if even Aquaman shows up to help.

* MSNBC accused Romney of using a KKK slogan. Except he never really used it (and I haven’t actually seen proof it was a KKK slogan). Here’s the man bites dog angle to the story: MSNBC actually apologized. Is it really a good idea for MSNBC to now apologize for mindless Republican bashing? That will cause their channel to be half-Republican bashing and half-apologies.

* And Romney isn’t getting much help from FOX News either. Here is a graphic from FOX News of the Republican candidates, and they used Obama’s picture for Romney. A subtle commentary? Who knows. Maybe next time they could replace Ron Paul’s picture with Jack Kevorkian’s.

* Obama and the Democrats have dropped the demand for raising taxes on the wealthy. They really wanted that because… I’m not sure. They never seemed to care before at having a deficit, and they can’t even make an argument how higher taxes would help the economy. It’s just kind of a suicidal devotion to class warfare. I would like to not have to care about Democrats driving a car off a cliff, but we’re always trapped in the back seat.

* Obama is trying to collect your email address. He’s asked the few dimwits who still listen to him to turn in emails of Republicans so he can then pester them or something. And maybe also he’ll want Republicans’ favorite blogs so he can troll in the comments. Isn’t it really enough he’s destroying the economy; does he really have to personally annoy each and every one of us too? Someone needs to get the guy a hobby. What’s something even stupid, useless people can do?

* Obama said he didn’t know how bad the economic crisis was before he took office. So basically he’s saying he was unprepared to be president, to which the American people respond with a resounding, “Duh.”

Remember his whole, “My stimulus will keep unemployment from going above 8%!” Yep, no idea what he was talking about. Is he going to claim he understand things now? Does he have any actions to prove that? No, just more spending proposals… the same as when he claims he was clueless.

We should really just give the guy a bright red ball to play with until we get the next president.

* Canada has pulled out of the Kyoto Treaty. I thought they were supposed to be our moral superiors? But now that we have a European country leaving the Kyoto Treaty, maybe we can give up on this carbon nonsense for a little while as we work on economic recovery.

And if baby polar bears die because of it, that will only make me all the happier.

* Time Magazine has named protesters the Person of the Year. I guess it’s for the Muslim protests that have been toppling governments and the Occupy movement’s weak, dimwitted imitation of those movements (“I’m going camp out here in front of this bank until… something…”).

It’s sort of a cop out, though, when Time magazine doesn’t name an actual person as the person of the year. Who do you think was the person of the year?

Who was it that made Angry Birds?

* The National Transportation Safety Board has requested that drivers be banned from using cellphones. If we want to make driving safer, why don’t we just ban teenagers from having cars? I certainly don’t see the need for teenagers to go anywhere, and would rather they stay home. I also would rather those Occupy people not drive. How about no car until you show you’re responsible enough to hold down a job?

* The Republicans have passed a bill to extend the payroll tax cut and build the Keystone pipeline. So tax cuts, more oil, and more jobs.

Obama has vowed to veto it.

Come on; he keeps saying he wants to make jobs, and there are jobs right there in the pipeline. Tons of them. He’s just too afraid of environmentalists whining. Well, here’s another job idea: Stuffing environmentalists in metal crates and throwing them in the sea.

Eh, it would probably be cheapest to pay illegal Mexicans to do that.

* Gary Busey has endorsed Newt Gingrich for president. But Christine O’Donnell has endorsed Mitt Romney. Then who is the real crazy person’s choice?

Oh yeah; duh. Ron Paul.

* Here’s an NBC news panel discussing how our country and its democracy is just a stumbling block in the way of Obama’s greatness. Didn’t I write a column on that…

* Oh, I forgot how I promised HIGH PRAISE to who had a good news quip. Well, I give it to myself for having to read them. None of them were very good. Try harder next time. I really need to start doing some humor seminars to teach people to be clever like me. How much do you think you’d pay for that? A thousand? Ten thousand? It would be worth a hundred thousand.

* Obama says it will likely take more than one president to fix the economy. Isn’t the reason most people don’t think he deserves reelection is that everyone concluded it will take at least one other president than him?

* Harry Reid said “Millionaire job creators are like unicorns. They are impossible to find and don’t exist.” Yes, new wisdom from the guy who once said taxes are voluntary.

Do you get the idea that Democrats understand how jobs are created about as well as a four-year-old understands where babies come from?

* In more news of Democrats dealing well with reality, Debbie Wasserman Schultz went on FOX News to deny that unemployment went up under Obama’s presidency. We should make a deal with the Democrats: They can be undisputed dictators of the world they live in as long as the right gets to be in charge of reality.

* Sometimes it seem like we on the right are losing, but we’re winning in more ways than we sometimes realize. A while ago I showed a graph of opinion on whether handguns should be legal that showed a continuous uptick over the past fifty years, and now Gallup has a graph on opinions about big government since 1965. You may notice a pattern there too.

We’re a very progressive movement.

* Obama has requested that Iran give back our drone.

“Hey, guys, one of our drones went over the fence into your yard. Could you toss it back?”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Pleeeeeease.”

“No.”

“Come on, guys! Be nice!”

“No.”

::sobs:: “You’re mean! I’m telling the U.N.!” ::runs away::

* They’re trying to humanize Romney. My suggestion: one of those emotion chips like they gave Data. Worked pretty well for him.

* Huntsman and Gingrich debated yesterday. I dkflaskdfalsda

I just blacked out a second. What happened?

* Democrats think there are improved prospects of Obama being reelected now. Here’s what the DNC said:

“We’ve looked into the eyes of the American people, and we nothing but despair. There’s not a trace of hope left; no one even imagines a better future. So things are really looking up for Obama’s reelection.”

* Some people are thinking Chicago should secede and form its own state. Not Chicago, though — other people in Illinois. Never thought of secession as a way to sort of cut out a cancer, but if you have all the problems in your state congregated into one city, it’s an idea. If this idea catches on, we could have a lot more livable states along with isolated forbidden zones.

* Wisdom of the Day: “N Korea warns of ‘unexpected consequences’ if Christmas lights displayed near DMZ. Like what? Kim Jong Il’s heart growing three sizes?” –Fred Thompson

* Bad lip-reading of Rick Perry’s controversial ad:

* Make sure you checked out my New York Post column from Saturday. It was good.

* There was another Republican debate Saturday. I didn’t watch it.

* Still, I feel like I should say something about it. Apparently Romney went after Newt for calling the Palestinians an “invented people”. Oh yeah, that’s how you make traction in a Republican primary: defend the Palestinians. That’s almost a Huntsman level move.

* Obama was on 60 Minutes making the case for his reelection. Here’s what he said.

“You’re all aware of how petty and petulant I am. Well think of how I’ll be from November 7th, 2012, until January 20th, 2013, if I know the American people voted me out of office. Think of all the destruction I can do in that time period. Really, you’re going to tell me I’m fired but leave me in office for months with access to nukes? Just think about that for a second. Not a good idea.”

It’s a pretty good argument.

* Some people are starting to wonder if with Occupy Wall Street whether it’s going to be 1968 for the Democrat National Convention all over again. Democrats need to learn: Never encourage hippies, even if you think there is a short term gain. As soon as you see a hippie, you punch a hippie. Otherwise they spread like mold and spoil everything.

* Occupy is blocking ports today. Yay, interrupting business! So is the Occupy movement’s complaint that they don’t have jobs or that other people have them?

Of course, they’re doing this all to inconvenience the “1 percent” while causing lower class people to lose a day’s wage. People just never figure out that you can’t inconvenience the rich without decimating the poor. But I guess it’s for “fairness”.

* Iran is still taunting us with their captured drone. It’s so heartbreaking; it’s like holding a dog hostage and abusing it. It just doesn’t understand what’s happening to it.

There are fears that the Iranians may be able to reverse engineer the drone. There was some of the same fears when the Palestinians captured a drone, but they were unable to replicate the design using rocks and twigs.

* Oh no. I made fun of the Palestinians. I bet my Republicans readers will leave me.

* Scientists think they’re close to finding the Higgs boson. When they find it, worst case is the world will be destroyed in a black hole. But it’s worth the risk because if we aren’t destroyed and find the Higgs boson… something. I’m not really sure what. Maybe we all get free ice cream.

Oh, we get a better understanding of the relation of matter and energy. Oh, that’s ::yawn:: that’s super. Will this in any way lead to dinosaurs with rocket launchers on them? No?

Useless scientists…

* Wisdom of the Day: “Rick Perry says he’s not ashamed to admit he’s Christian. He credits all his success to the Father, Son, and the uh…there’s a third one.” –MancowMuller

* Here’s another video from The House of Sunny:

So Obama doesn’t seem to think free markets work and that’s why he has to intervene — even though he has about as much business knowledge as he does humility? I thought the Constitution was supposed to keep people like him from messing with our stuff and our businesses; whatever happened to that?

* Hitting a wall this morning. Just can’t think of anything I feel like commenting on. I haven’t said anything about Corzine and Blago, but hugely corrupt Democrats just seems like old hat. So what do you guys feel like commenting on? Pick a news item and say something witty about it in the comments. Person who has the best line wins…

…wait for it…

HIGH PRAISE!

Keep it pithy.

* Might as well respond to some spam to please the Great Landlord.

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Little bit of a mixed message there, dude.

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Well, thank you. Not a lot people recognize how much hard work it takes to blog daily. Hard work and sweat. In fact, I have to hose myself down after each blog post.

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I like that. I’m going to write “retain up the beneficial things!” on a post it note and put it right over the monitor at my work desk. I need to keep in my mind to what purpose am I sweating: It’s to retain up the beneficial things.”

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I get excited about my writing too, but no need to swear.

* Here’s a new video from Crowder. I cannot understand a word he says:

* Wisdom of the Day: “First George Orwell wrote Animal Farm, about the failure of Soviet ideology, then he wrote Animal House, about his rowdy college days.” –Michael Kupperman