Random Thoughts

All the books and columns I’m getting paid to write are really getting in the way of my novel writing. #humblebrag

Inconsiderate coworker only has banana Laffy Taffy in his candy jar.

I get to tell my child I was for gun rights before it was a majority held opinion.

Since the left took the terms “liberal” and “progressive”, what do we call people who have new ideas?

Why would I want to see a 3D movie? I use my depth perception all day long and I watch movies to relax.

Jeans aren’t very warm pants but I don’t know what other types of pants there are.

The sign in front of Corzine say “The Honorable Jon Corzine”? That’s a little too sarcastic.

I don’t know why all the people who don’t watch Community don’t just trust those of us who do and watch it until they love it.

I don’t get opera singing; it sounds weird and unnatural to me. I put it in the same category as rap music.

I’ve now gotten an Ultimate Badge from Google News for reading articles about video games. That’s how concerned I am for current events.

I hope to keep that my niche: I don’t write smart opinion, I write original opinions.

I like to think that of all the political columnists, I’m the best at Legend of Zelda.

Obama has been compared to Spock, but he’s more like GlaDOS. Acts cold and aloof, but is childish when angered. Promises cake we’ll never see.

I find zoo animals to be so depressing. Such rampant illiteracy.

16 Comments

  1. Obama has been compared to Spock, but he’s more like GlaDOS. Acts cold and aloof, but is childish when angered. Promises cake we’ll never see.

    I’d compare him to that little satellite that floated around the Enterprise. It annoyed everyone, made absolutely no sense whatsoever, and ultimately attempted to destroy the Enterpise.

    Unlike the Enterprise, we’ve got no crafty Capt. Kirk — or even a Cap’n Crunch — to save us, so unlike the Enterprise, we’re pretty well screwed.

  2. In the interest of fairness, I feel I must redirect a previous rant about the reconnaissance drone that the Chicoms will soon possess. Defense officials urged Obama to authorize a mission to recover or destroy it. Unfortunately for the US, the briefing went like this:

    Defense aid: Mr. President, we have three solid options to protect critical defense technology.

    Obama: Where the heck did my testicles go? I think they rolled under the desk. I think I’ll have a look down there.

  3. > I don’t get opera singing; it sounds weird and unnatural to me. I put it in the same category as rap music.

    Somehow, I don’t think “It ain’t over until the Fat Rapper busts a cap in yo’ ass” will ever catch on.

  4. “Since the left took the terms “liberal” and “progressive”, what do we call people who have new ideas?”

    Better question: What do we call a liberal or progressive when they have a good idea?
    Answer: We’ll never know.

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