Yes, Google Docs, you’re right that “Doesn” isn’t a word, but it’s usually acceptable when followed by ‘t.
Things are supposed to improve as we move into the future, but things seem bleaker now. We even have less planets than when I was a kid.
Remember when we used to be able to get people into space? I even heard that in the long long ago, we got a man on the moon.
Reader noticed that when you do a Google image search for “hippie puncher“, 7th result returned is my wife. Pow!
For a boring person, I lead a pretty interesting life.
Don’t get the big deal of Whoopi Goldberg saying that Communism is a “great concept”. Didn’t Homer Simpson say the same thing in one episode?
Oh. Whoopi Goldberg is an actual person. Then why is she named “Whoopi”? Is that a Jewish name?
Sesame Street branding is on half the baby stuff we buy. What do they need public funds for?
We should make a separate U.N. with only the U.S. as a member. It will be much more powerful.
I’ve stopped checking my book’s rankings
So if I want to one day be president, do I need to do something about the racist newsletter I have written in my name or not?
Jeneane Garofalo and Bill Maher should hook up. Together they’d make an angry, unfunny couple.
So are there non-specific holiday songs yet, or is that impossible to do except as a parody?
Okay, which will happen first:
– Ron Paul supporters swarming IMAO over your newsletter reference?
– Or the regular crew of commenters leaving lists of the names of Politically Correct Holiday Songs?
“Communism is a great concept.” – Screwtape, noted political philosopher
“Low Volume Nocturnal Segment of the Diurnal Period”
“The Height Challenged Percussion Person”
“O Non-judgemental Night”
Hey, Frank… you also appear in the Google results for ‘hippie puncher’, but you are WAY below Sarah K (~35th)… Looks like teh Google has identified who’s REALLY punching hippies in the Fleming household! Gotta love a woman who can carry a firearm and dispense knuckled justice to society’s filth!
“Communism is a great concept. Sure they rape the people but it’s not ‘rape’ rape!”
~ Woopie Goldberg
You forgot to add “hideously ugly” to your list of adjectives there. Btw, thank you for that mental picture. In order to get that image out of my head, I’m going to go google pictures of something less repulsive, like Helen Thomas.
Ernie Loco:
But think what their kids would look like!
Nonspecific songs? How about “Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart” or “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime”? OK, sure, they mention Christmas, but no self-respecting holiday would want to be associated with them.
One of the few things I dread about Christmas is that awful, depressing children’s chorus song Christmastime Is Here from the Charlie Brown Christmas special. It makes me want to run out into traffic. Good grief.
How ’bout some Obama approved songs? There are plenty of those:
“Good King Obama”
“Here We Go A Borrowing”
“I Saw Mommy Kissing A Kenyan”
“I Wish You A Merry Ramadan”
“Foreign Halls With Bows Of Folly”
there are fewer planets now, but more elements. back when i was your age, we had earth and wind. fire was in beta testing.
Wasn’t Whoopi named after a cushion?
Things are supposed to improve as we move into the future, but things seem bleaker now. We even have less planets than when I was a kid.
Not just that, but now there’s no such thing as a brontosaurus.
We’re degressing.
Another Obama approved holiday song:
Oh TannObama
Same name. Less funny.
@Jimmy: Thumbs up.
@jw: In keeping with the earlier FJF observations this week that there’s no way automobiles would be allowed if introduced today, do we think FIRE would be allowed for the normal, average lumpenproletariat now? Someone might get BURNED!
If you have to be a genius to work at Google, why do all of their apps suck? I don’t like things that suck.
At least their new gmail interface brings them straight into 2004. It even has a few themes, although I couldn’t much tell the difference between them.
Whoopi and a whoopi cushion make the same sound, and have the same IQ.
I know Frank is an engineer and knows much of Science!, but the next time you test out your gall bladder exploder ray please point it somewhere else. It worked on me just fine. Maybe a mass test on democrats the day before the 2012 election would be a good idea.
“Winter Wonderland” does not mention Christmas at all. Same with “Sleigh Ride,” although I have heard at least one version that changes the line “birthday party at the home of Farmer Gray” to “Christmas party at the home of Farmer Gray.” We have a couple of radio stations here in Southern California that are playing nothing but “Christmas” songs until Christmas – guess which two songs are played relentlessly? Also, Mannheim Steamroller instrumentals are very popular, since they omit all those troublesome religious lyrics.
…as well as joy, soul, exhuberance, artistry, and passion.
How can one argue with such clear logic as Whoopi’s? Communism IS a great concept. Look what it’s done for me…I’m a twenty-seven year old four star general who’s in charge of a whole country. My nation is a nuclear (or sorta) nuclear power that most of the civilized world lives in fear of. Even the United States will jump when I snap my fingers just as it did for my father. Ha! How many twenty-seven year olds in your country can make that claim….Kim Jong-un, Large and in Charge, North Korea.
O Come All Ye Secular (or Adeste Secularis)
O Generic Tree
Whatever Rest Ye Gentlepersons
Joy To The World For No Particular Reason
1. #17 – Storm1911,
I hope you’re recovering nicely.
2. Jeneane Garofalo and Bill Maher could perform no greater public service than by hooking up.
That way they’d only make 2 people unhappy, instead of 4.
On a COMPLETELY unrelated note:
A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.
The only reason Jeneane Garofalo and Bill Maher haven’t have sex change operations is that neither could decide which sex to change to.
“Reader noticed that when you do a Google image search for “hippie puncher“, 7th result returned is my wife. Pow!”
-She’s now the 6th result! Bam!!