10 of the Lots of Things on Obama’s Plate

Asked why Obama’s hasn’t met with his Job Council for 6 months, Jay Carney said “there’s no specific reason except that the president’s obviously got a lot on his plate.”

[INSERT DOG-EATING JOKE HERE]

So, what else has been presidential platter-plugging since January?:
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Polishing his “Osama the Dead Terrorist” ventriloquist act.

1) Congratulatory slut-calls.

2) Working up an attack strategy for that tricky par 3 4th hole at Andrews.

3) Shuffling through mountains of potential names for the cradle-to-grave welfare-woman cartoon poster-child.

4) Up until late June, it was nothing but wait for the SCOTUS call on Obamacare, bite nails, bleed, bandage, repeat.

5) Researching whether there was a snootier-sounding way to pronounce “POCK-e-ston” (there isn’t).

6) Figuring out who his son would’ve looked like. Also, how he would’ve felt about Skittles.

7) Taking Russian yoga class for increased post-election flexibility

8) Finding excuses to sneak out of the White House without Michelle so he can get a meal that doesn’t include those deadly poisonous Toxic Avenger veggies from the White House garden.

9) Working on plan to come out as 1/32 Cherokee. Still looking for plagiarized recipes he can use as evidence. Also, having a devil of a time arranging surgery for cheekbone implants.

10) Busy creating shovel ready jobs, aka shallow graves for Fast & Furious documents.
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Of course, lately he mostly spends his time doodling tophats & monocles on pictures of Mitt Romney.

UPDATE: Reliapundit at The Astute Bloggers weighs in on the topic

13 Comments

  1. Most people would agree that he’s tried real hard. No one works harder than he at promoting:

    Socialism in America.
    Deficit spending.
    Giving stimulus money to crony capitalists.
    Doling out green energy loans to already-bankrupt companies.
    Having his Justice Department ignore financial fraud.
    Covering up Fast and Furious.

    and last, but not least,

    Causing “clicker thumb” for millions of American TV news viewers.

  2. Yeah, sure, Harvey, but mine is so bad I’d have to go in front of a death panel for treatment!

    Symptoms caused by seeing Obama on TV:

    * Projectile vomiting of yellow chunks bathed in a viscous, non-Newtonian green fluid.
    * Rapid onset of explosive “creeping crannies.”
    * Suddenly, your crötch AND your couch stink in unison.
    * Your normally docile dog bites your foot, growls and trots off happy.
    * Your composite girl friend suddenly hates you.
    * Intense loathing of your expensive, all-digital television.

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