Screw atheism. I’m in:
Air Conditioning should be a Religion. A violent one, if its existence becomes threatened. We all worship at its altar anyway; we moan with breathless thrill upon entering any room to escape the soul-sucking heat. “Ahhhhhh…” we intone, like monks in an ecstatic trance. And we are saved.
The tenets of our faith are found in the longer working hours and productivity that Air Conditioning provides. Capitalism is our outreach ministry. Come to AC all you who are sweaty and would find dry, cool pillows on which to rest, and AC will give you sleep. Blessed, restful sleep without the sheets sticking to you.
More at Primordial Slack [High Praise!]
*swoon!* High Praise from Harvey! You do know how to turn a girl’s head.
I curtsey in gratitude for your benevolent gift of linkage. :o)
Is air conditioning an object of worship? True, Carrier is a man of high veneration, obviously deserving of sainthood.
On the other hand, air conditioning seems to be a Freudian sexual thing — something that is desired greatly and which provides bliss. Freud would say, while speeding his cocaine fueled brain, “Ja, it is reminiscent of the womb, where temperature is precisely and perfectly balanced.”
Extra Frigero Ecclesiam Nulla Frigidus?
(Outside the Church of Cold, None are Cool?)
Good thing my church, Our Lady of Perpetual Motion, already has HVAC. Plus coffee and doughnuts (and the occasional bar-b-q and fish fry).
No thanks I’m sticking with Aqua Buda.
Those of us who worship the infrared heater have but one question: When it’s 10-below-zero in mid-February what will your god do for you then?
How are you ever going to save the souls of those heathen Eskimos, I wonder?
Son of Bob, have you not heard of the Holy Heat Pump? It’s a wheel within a wheel; it’s the spirit that moves your electric meter, like a whirling dervish; it’s the divine paraclete of comfort when the polar express that reaches into the South. To my ears, suffering in minus-10 degree weather sounds like a cultic rite of membership in some bizarre fellowship of the damned!
Actually, our god told us to move to Florida.
Blasphemy! Heat pumps don’t really heat, they just make it not cold. Burning of fossil fuels is what makes holy heat. The AC is the spawn of Satan for sure…I lose my religion every time the repairman comes round.
The trick, my friends, is to study thermodynamics and discover the wonders of the French physicist, Nicolas Carnot, and, of William Rankine and his ‘Rankine Cycle’ which we use for heating and cooling every day. Carnot is also the discoverer of the Second Law of Thermodynamics which basically says “There’s no free lunch.” Therefore, a Conservative by modern standards, Carnot was a true scientist (even by Frank’s definition!!).
Also, it’s nice to see Joan of Argghh! back walking the halls of IMAO.
I’ve been fixing air conditioners at work almost non stop the last 2 weeks, so what does that make me? The archangel of ac?
Don’t you people realize that if it wasn’t for air conditioning, it wouldn’t be hot??!! GLOBAL WARMING is the only true religion!!!!!
No mo bama… I have been commanded by the grand air condition to smiteth ye for your blasphemy… Repent before I smiteth thee
The Ogrrre places edged weapons in the middle of the room, retires to his recliner with a brewski and a bag of popcorn, and yells, “Death to the infidels, the True god is with you!” Which each religion assumes the Ogrrre means them. He enjoys the carnage as the Goreacles of the Church of Global Warming attack the Avatarss of AC who attack the Rankine Radicals who attack the Holy Ho’s of the Heat Pump who attack the Invictus Knights of the Infrared. All the while the Purveyors of Petroleum, vassals all of the Koch brothers, the Counts of Carbon, provide energy to all in order to keep the conflict going.
The Church of Global Warming of Latter Day Cranks
vs.
The Rankine Radicals for Capitalism
Who wins? Highlights at 11:00.
Yeah, everyone wants to go the Hell until July reminds them to repent.
Air condition isn’t all sunshine and daisies. We built our seat of government in the middle of a hellish swamp for a reason. It was supposed to be bitterly cold in the winter and murderously hot in the summer, but AC has doomed us all. Now people can legislate and regulate in comfort year around.
I thank God for AC several times a day between May and September, but that doesn’t mean I worship the AC unit.
I also thank him for clouds, cool breezes, and shade trees when I must be outside.
On the other hand, if it wasn’t for sweat and the resultant BO, we might never have invented perfume.
Must be why all the pricey parfums are from France.