[High Praise! to The People’s Cube]
The differences between an Obamaphone and a regular phone:
* It automatically rejects calls from people with a different opinion.
* Every time you take a picture, it produces a grimmer image of America.
* It doesn’t have a plan; it just keeps telling you how bad the other guy’s plan is.
* When it crashes, it blames your previous phone.
* All 3 AM calls go directly to voicemail.
* It has a really useless app called “Biden.”
* Pairing it with another device sucks all the energy out of the other unit.
* Type in “job search” and it gives you directions to the welfare office.
* The navigation feature covers all 57 States.
* The default ringtone for international calls is “I’m sorry, so sorry, please accept my apology.”
* The healthcare app downloads and installs itself without your permission.
* When you make a call, a teleprompter pops up to help you speak.
* Restaurant reviews are all written by Michelle Obama.
* There are never any winners on Angry Birds.
* Instagram takes two months to process a photo and you have to fill out 3 PDFs to do so.
* Paypal app is replaced with ReceivePal app.
* You can’t find “Jerusalem” on Google maps.
* It turns all your Facebook friends into enemies and all your enemies into friends.
* Don’t want to work? There’s an app for that, too.
* It automatically bows down to phones made by foreign companies.
* When you watch a YouTube video, a US ambassador gets killed.
* When you dial “home”, it calls Kenya.
* As opposed to the iPhone, it’s called the mePhone.
It has an automated operator which says “Press 1 if you agree with me. Press 2 if you are a racist.”
Very funny! That may be my favorite post that you’ve written.
@2 Wish I *had* written it. It’s from The People’s Cube.
Don’t forget the app that helps you send all your free money to Mexico, tax free, they’ll even give you an earned income sent to 3rd world hellhole tax credit.
YOU DIDN’T WRITE THAT!
It comes pre-programmed with all of Obama’s speeches.
~~~~ to the Cube.
* It’s restaurant locator directs you to the nearest dog pound.
* It doubles as an auto-tracking, national ID card. Don’t leave home without it.
It automatically bows down to phones made by foreign companies although it wasn’t made in America either.
Its microphone is always on and running an app called “Sirius.” If you don’t ask it anything, it will tell on you anyway.
When you use it someone asks Obama if that’s a Obamaphone user in his pocket or is he just glad to see someone vote for him.
On election day it votes for you automatically. You can’t be bothered with such minor details.
An Obamaphone is smart. Obamaphones are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
(That’s my cultural peak for the day.)