So the other day I ran into one of our commenters who had put up a big conspiracy rant, and I posted it because I found it fascinating. Here’s a guy who thinks the government is quite regularly assassinating its own citizens to political ends and the reaction is to… casually drop that into conversation at a humor blog. You want to talk about a conspiracy, something doesn’t seem to add up there.
Anyway, I was disheartened to find out the reaction of some commenters was to engage in even crazier and even more obviously stupid conspiracy theories. One commenter (who will remain nameless — NAMELESS!) started alleging that the families from Newtown are actually actors who didn’t lose children and the whole incident was done to push gun control. Now, I’m just trying to run this through my head how this conspiracy would work: The government would hire a bunch of actors to pretend to be grieving families — and all these actors would collectively be known by hundreds of people who could easily expose this conspiracy saying, “Hey, I know these guys. They’re not even married and don’t have children!” Plus, apparently they’re all really bad actors because the conspiracists are easily seeing through their lies. And I know at least one of the fathers is against more gun control… so I’m not sure how that fits in the conspiracy.
There’s no way this conspiracy would grow beyond two people without one of them saying, “This is a really stupid idea that would never work.” And I haven’t even pointed all that’s stupid with it.
So what happens when I point the obvious flaws in the conspiracy? I got the stereotypical conspiracy theorists response of, “Well, I wasn’t alleging all that obviously crazy stuff; I was just asking questions.” I mean, this was a constant refrain from the 9/11 truther twits when you’d critique how idiotic their ideas are from a high level. Like I remember one going on about evidence it was a missile that hit the Pentagon, so I’d ask, “Then what happened with all the people from the plane that they said hit the Pentagon? They’re in hiding? The government just landed the plane elsewhere and assassinated them all?” And he’d never try to explain what happened to those people because he knew there was no answer that wasn’t insane; instead he’d just point out a few “inconsistencies” because he’s just asking questions. And so he’d get you trying to scrutinize some pixel on some image and ignore how completely insane the whole premise of a vast conspiracy is.
And that’s the real conspiracy: These conspiracy theorists don’t actually believe their own crap. That’s why they do everything to avoid following what they’re alleging to the logical conclusion because then they’d have to admit how completely insane it is and give up the game. So they’re really just silly people, but when you’re silly about actual tragedies where people were murdered, it’s gets offensive.
And I must do something. If I’m going to be the type of person to teach my children to punch hippies, then I cannot let useless people indulging in idiocy to continue on unmolested. Plus, IMAO is a site I have worked hard on for years, and thus I will not let it descend into a cesspool of nutty conspiracy theories! Thus there is only one solution:
A PURGE!
From hereon, anyone engaged in nutty conspiracy theories in the comments of IMAO WILL BE BANNED FROM THIS BLOG. FOREVER. AND THEIR CHILDREN. AND THEIR CHILDREN’S CHILDREN.
As for their children’s children’s children, they will be on probation. That means any comments they make will automatically go to moderation. I don’t know how long it will take on average to get them out of moderation; I’ll probably be dead by the time this applies so it will be someone else’s problem.
…Actually, on second though, I don’t even know how to ban people. This kind of seems like a lot of work to enforce. Plus, I don’t even read comments half the time so what do I care? I mean, the site could get take over by neo-Nazi skinheads (what do racists have against hair?) and it would be like weeks before I would notice.
So, new idea: If you are found writing an insane conspiracy rant, I will add “I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!” to the end of your comment to make the whole thing look ironic and thus less offensive.
Except I don’t have time to do that. I mean, I have a full time job and I’m working on two different books; I don’t even know how I’m writing this post right now. I guess I could have Harvey do the comment editing… Can I have Harvey do thing? I don’t really understand the hierarchy at this blog. Actually, I probably should have discussed this all with Harvey first. He might get mad and not let me on the blog anymore.
Okay, new plan: You must enforce this edict on yourself. If you write some insane rant in the comments, you have to add “I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!” to the end in all caps.
I know; everyone will probably just claim their rant isn’t insane. Well, we’ll have an objective measure to determine if you wrote an insane rant. You have may have noticed before that lots of trolls and crazy people tend to write long comments; that’s because if you have a coherent thought, you can condense it. If you don’t, you just tend to blather on and on and hope to conceal in all the verbiage that you’re crazy. Plus, this is a humor blog; there really is no reason to write long comments unless you’ve gone into crazy rant town.
So, the objective measure of whether a comment is a crazy rant is whether it’s more than four sentences long. Any comment longer than that will be assumed to be some sort of RON PAUL! crazy type ramblings. Thus…
NEW IMAO COMMENT RULE:
After writing a comment for IMAO, count how many sentences it is. If it’s more than four, add “I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!” in all caps to the end of it. We at IMAO thank you for your cooperation.
BTW, anyone know what happened to Carpenter?
I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!

I dunno, Frank, sounds like a conspiracy to me — why you trying to keep down the conspiracy theorists unless you’re working for THEM?
I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!
I’M A CAT!
I can’t tell satire from sincerity anymore.
(less than four sentences)
I AM A CRACKPOT!
I made some nice bean soup last week. I put in some bacon and hamhocks. After it cooked for ten hours, I put in some sage and tomato sause and lots and lots of garlic. I added a chopped onion, too. I served it with toasted French bread topped with a nice cheddar.
I USED A CROCKPOT!
large package of bacon to you frank. i hoped for something like this.
i don’t know where carpenter is, but i’ve been thinking that we might want to let him up off the mat. to return under double secret probation, or something.
four sentences, but I AM NOT A CRACKPOT
(just to be on the safe side)
BTW, how did that boycott on IMAO go?
THOSE GUYS WERE CRACKPOTS!
@2: If you’re a cat, you’re by nature a crackpot. (Also, a potential mass-murdering terrorist, held back only back a nice sunbeam to sleep in.)
The last time I think we had a government capable of a really good conspiracy was the Kennedy assassinations era.
Or maybe that’s just what they WANT us to think! Aha!!!!!!
I make no bones about it: I AM A CRACKPOT- BUT I’M STILL SANE ENOUGH TO NOT BE LIBERAL!!
So if we post something with less than four sentences can we use the non-all capital letter “I am not a crackpot.” instead?
I am not a crackpot.
COWARDICE!
Cowardice, I say! (“J’Accuse” as well.)
Yes, Frank, take shelter behind your position as High Panjandrum and Uber-Moderator of this blog. You tried to lock horns with he of the ineffable handle, but the initials SoB. You failed to accurately address just why “asking questions” makes one a so-called “loony”. You’re engaging in denigration and marginalisation in fine Totalitarian fashion. Bravo, Chief, way to tuck tail from a simple give-and-take.
If you’re ever-so preoccupied and distracted then don’t engage. When you do so, in a distracted manner, it makes you look like a puss! (Or a greasy, gutless, round-shouldered, raisin-testicled, whiney, cut-and-run Hippie Lib.)
You want to play imperial, fine. Just remember how revolution-era Americans react to Royals and all their condescending, detached, inbred, sceptre-waving crap. Not to mention the absolute love shared between Irishers and Brit nobility.
Oh, BTW, IANAC!
Charles Johnson can tell you how to ban people from your blog. It works every time. He’s super smart. Then he’ll try to sell you a 2008 calendar.
I’ve missed you Carolynthemommy!
I like a good conspiracy theory.
It makes the day go by faster and is more entertaining than the average dreck produced by the lame stream.
It also is usually filled with folks I just live to believe the worst about, so it’s a win-win.
Now I have to add I AM NOT A CRACKPOT to YGDFT!YLTATSOTE. Thanks Frank, just posting here is getting so “government-esk “. Is this a conspiracy, have you gone over to the dark side……say it ain’t so!
Non-crackpot bacon to seanmahair!
http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/04/i-may-be-having-too-much-fun-with-this/
tl:dr
I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!!
http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/04/i-may-be-having-too-much-fun-with-this/
If you recall, the posting of YGDFT!YLTATSOTE was supposed to be for posts made by Harvey not Frank.
Is this proof of one living in the head of the other?
Does asking questions immediately make one a crackpot??
I smell a CONSPIRACY!!!!Eleventy!!ronpaul!!ronpaul!!
IANAC!
I am not a crackpot; I am thorough.
So, this blog is now officially:
“Fair. Balanced. Needs Medication.”
May the old blog R.I.P.
There once was a bloggety guy
Who said we could not ask him why
So I’ll don my foil cap
Write conspiracy crap
Cuz NOT A CRACKPOT AM I!!11!!
Well I have crack and pot, and the black helicopters are circling over head. Does that mean I AM NOT A CRACK POT?!
I am a GDFT!LTITSOTE but I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!
A pint of Guinness served up in an American Revolution-era style pewter mug for Former Hostage!
Up The Rebels!
Frank,
I have been reading this blog for almost five years now. However I must say that after today, and reading this post and the comments feed from the one it references, this will no longer be one of my “go-to blogs” for commentary (serious or otherwise) on today’s issues. With all due respect, the way you responded to SonofBob’s pointing out some discrepancies in the reporting of what happened in Newtown is EXACTLY how a liberal would have handled it. And that you just became more entrenched in your argument when SoB and then BunkerHillbilly responded to you with reasoned and respectful arguments just made it worse. Again, respectively, Frank, those responses were beneath you.
I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!
Man, I feel like going somewhere where CRACKPOTS are welcome. Maybe Son of Bob’s place. Well, HE’S NOT A CRACKPOT, actually, but maybe he’ll welcome me, because I AM WHAT I AM. I AM A PRESSURE COOKER!
Son of Bob!
Son of Bob!
Son of Bob!
SON OF BOB!
[Raised his pewter pint mug in a sincere salute to Jimmy Rock]
BTW, it just so happens that I, too, am a son of a Bob.
One more thing:
Didn’t the old Soviet Union have a lot of purges?
Way to wave the flag, Frank. Pity it’s all red, not red, white and blue.
Up The Rebels!
Wow, I guess we see what happens when you disagree with Frank – pretty much the same way as when you don’t agree with any liberal. I wonder if this is how it started for Andrew Sullivan.
[Slides SoB a brimming pint of Guinness served up in a pewter mug]
Up The Rebels!
…sorry, meant Charles Johnson…my bad. I guess that really makes me a crackpot.
♪♫ “We’ll meet again
Don’t know where
Don’t know when
But I know
We’ll meet again
Some sunny day
Keep smilin’ thru
Just like you
Always do
‘Til the blue skies drive
The dark clouds
Far away
And will you please say hello
To the folks that I know
Tell’em that I won’t be long
And they’ll be happy to know
That when you saw me go
I was singing this song
We’ll meet again
Don’t know where
Don’t know when
But I know
We’ll meet again
Some sunny day!” ♪♫
So….I’m guessing that you don’t believe the moon landings were faked at a remote underground sound stage at the Nevada Test Site? That the government isn’t cooperating with aliens and doing research on cross bred humans at an undergound base in Dulce, NM? Hrrrump….all you have to do is go to http://www.abovetopsecret.com…..they‘ve got all the latest news….
I just heard that Frank J has PURGED the TV game show Jeopardy from his DVR because they require all responses to be in the form of a QUESTION!!
I believe this site is part of a vast government conspiracy. After all, “Frank J. Fleming” sound like a James Bond character. “The name is Fleming. Frank J. Fleming.” And the kid’s name is “Buttercup” which we all know was played by Angela Scoular in the 1967 version of “Casino Royale.” FACT!
(Am I supposed to say “FACT” at the beginning or end to make it a FACT?)
Asking questions is not loony… asking questions whose implications are untenable, then being confronted with their ridiculousness and still holding onto them as something potentially significant is loony… oh, and I figured out a way to avoid the 4 sentence limit… ELLIPSES!… it just screams: “I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!”, doesn’t it?
I really don’t think Apolio 13 had an accident. It was government conspiracy to”NUKE THE MOON!”
I never was, nor ever have been, nor ever will be A CRACKPOT!
Even with preview I screwed that up which is a conspiracy!
I am a Crock Pot. I make delicious meals in 8-12 hours.
Could Frank be the long lost son of Ian Fleming? #IAmNotACrackpot
But what if there were no onions to cut up in Newtown that day? #IAmNotACrackpot
@AndyGump
Apolio 13? Was that the space mission with handicapped people? But were they really handicapped? Conspiracy!
Alex Jones is something of a CRACKPOT!
I would write a scathing post – but rotorwash from the black helicopters
just blew off my tinfoil hat.
You’re ALL wrong! Based on how this is playing out, with support for gun control dropping almost 50% in one day, this is a brilliant scheme engineered by Republicans to not only take back the Senate, but to retake the Northeast! Probably hatched in Mitch McConnell’s office just SECONDS after that White House-visiting leftist shut off his microphone! That “Stupid Party” thing is just a ruse! Trust in your leadership–the Republic shall be restored!!!
On the crackpot part, no comment.
If someone points out how ridiculous you are, well it’s obvious that it’s the person pointing it out that is at fault and not the person being ridiculous, amiright?
Hmm…if you don’t believe what I believe then you must believe this other thing
thus…
If you don’t ask dumb questions that lead to idiotic conclusions then you must believe everything the government and media tells you.
I find that to do either of those thingies requires a vast suspension of logic. There must be middle ground, something called…um, reason? objectivity? healthy skeptism? common sense? something about a grain of salt or pepper or something?
I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!
@43:
Keln, you dared to ask questions. That, according to post-purge regime policy, is default proof of crackpot-nutjob-tinfoil hattery.
Prepare to be fitted for a clean white coat with rear-fastening, extra-long sleeves and carted off to Premier Frank’s Question-Free Gulag For Non-Interrogatory Mental Rehabilitation.
@44
’tis not the asking of questions itself but that of which questions are being asked that can put one in danger of being ridiculous.
(1) Dude, my favorite author is Jane Austen and my favorite punctuation mark is the semicolon (closely followed by the dash), with the result being that I can write a single sentence that covers four pages in a standard paperback novel, without breaking a sweat (or the rules of grammar – OK, I bend them a bit – and did I forget to mention that I am also more than passingly fond of parenthetical remarks? – because I am) – of course, I have attempted to break myself of the super-sentence habit, as a matter of clarity, but really, your four-sentence maximum for Loony Tunes status (challenge accepted!) has forced the issue (and just as an aside, have you given any thought to the disturbing parallels between your absurd comment limit and the libtards’ insistence on limits for gun magazines? – because really, it’s just as arbitrary; sometimes the scatter-shot approach is needed to bag an idea – they are not all subject to single-shot resolution), and I will be happy henceforth to post my many, many ideas in the format of a single sentence, if that is what it takes to get past your close-minded moderation (which, when you think about it, is anything but “moderate” in effect). (2) FormerHostage #18, much bacon. (3) Jimmy (#29), don’t leave us! (4) Don’t tread on Son of Bob. (5) IANAC!!1!!!1!!!!1
@45
This was not specified by the Edict of Nancies issued by Premier Frank The J. Merely questioning, the act of which imperils the non-cowardly mien of The Premier by highlighting the latent cowardice, that is the capital offense warranting exile or purge.
Molon Labe my crackpot!
I have been away for a few days. Can’t wait to see the posts that started all this. I (heart) my cracked pot!
Crabby,
The It’s A Conspiracy thread is, in turns, a frightening, humorous tumble down the rabbit hole. You can see Frank lose his sense of humor (or grasp of history) with every following comment and deevolve into Premier Frank The J
Enjoy the ride.
IANAC!
Up The Rebels!.
Does a question count as a sentence? Because I’m just asking them. I am going to say yes. Those who think questions are not sentences are part of the conspiracy. This is sentence five. I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!
@Anthony Bialy says: “Does a question count as a sentence?”
That’s a question! I denounce thee as a CRACKPOT!
I denounce thee as a CRACKPOT!
Only Premier Frank The J. may, with all appropriated imperiousness, denounce, purge, exile, marginalise or, without substantial evidentiary cause, blindly make statements and utterances of an unquestionable nature.
This, in accordance with The Edict of Nancies.
In that case, I challenge you to a Battle of Wits!
OK, I read a representative sample of the exchange in question, and yeah, Son of Bob comes off as a bit of a kook. OK, a raving loon. But he’s our raving loon and I say we stand by him, and get him the help he needs. I am much less concerned about the government conspiracy I cannot prove than I am about the media conspiracy – frankly acknowledged by many of the perpetrators – to twist every news event – however it happened – to suit the political goals and world-view of the “reporters” themselves. It scarcely matters what the government does or does not do, if the media report only what they want to be understood about it. And Son of Bob, the parents of slain children who were so strangely calm on TV were only those parents who felt strong enough to be interviewed by the media; the rest were prostrated with grief, just as you thought they should be. The interviewees probably thought they were Honoring the Memory of their slain child, by Serving the Higher Purpose of gun control, which (they stupidly believe) would prevent this from Ever Happening Again, to any other Innocent Child. People who are serving a Higher Purpose can be amazingly brave, especially if they convince themselves that that is what their Loved One Would Have Wanted. Just my own crackpot theory. My cracked pot – come and take it! (Hat tip, HokieGomer #48.)
Looks like Jimmy cracked his pot, but I don’t care.
@Bunkerhillbilly – I denounce you as CRACKPOT(!) for questioning my right to denounce CRACKPOTS!
Crackpot is close to crockpot. Crockpot is my dinner-cooking tool of choice. I think you are conspiring to get me to go make dinner. Pot luck at my house! Wanna come over, Jimmy? Wink, wink.
@57
Cat, if you’ve a (tuna) bone to pick, take it up with Premier Frank The J….he’s the one who runs away from questions and is going all Soviet with his Purge.
I’ve no problem with questions. Encourage them as a matter of fact.
IANAC!
Up The Rebels!
OK – as long as I get to denounce people for asking questions. We’re all clear on the right?
…oh crap…
Becoming a #1 conservative humor blog has undoubtedly drawn some ‘extremists’ (some of which are probably hippies who wish you ill). But threats and purges will simply mean that the extremists have won. Trust your followers to deal with them. You remain the humble, unassuming and sarcastic writer that we have learned to tolerate all these years.
I ain’t be no crackpot.
Celebrate Diversity!
Coexist!
Give a hoot, don’t pollute!
I’m with Keln and Frank J.
Questions have not been banned by Frank; he went beyond them to articulate their implications, and to demonstrate the implications to be beyond logic and not worth consideration.
Nor has Frank ‘run away’ from questions, nor dismissed them any more than a focus on the larger question necessitated: how many times, and on how many threads, need he state his position clearly and at length?
Son of Bob understandably finds the official story and its presentation unconvincing, due to the known fact that the mainstream media and this administration cannot be trusted to describe events truthfully; but Frank points out that the alternative scenario Son of Bob proposes is even more unbelievable — as wild as saying that World War II never happened or that Fresno is only a movie set peopled by actors: in short, to say that the official story is suspicious is not to say that Son of Bob’s alternative explanation therefore must be right.
What if the purported IMAO purge was staged and it was actually just a wet burp? #IAmNotACrackpot
#64 Fly
I’d like to subscribe to you newsletter.
-I DON’T SMOKE CRACK/POT!
I always miss all the good stuff.
I’m a wacko-bird but
I AM NOT A CRACKPOT! OR A CROCKPOT!
the post was too long and who has time to read 66 other posts. All I can gather is someone’s smoking pot and Harvey wants crack or something like that. Man I gotta quit one of my jobs so I can keep up with you guys. Btw dropped a cooking implement but thankfully IT’S NOT A CRACKED POT.
@63:
Nor has Frank ‘run away’ from questions, nor dismissed them…
Oppo,
A series of pointed questions and polite counter-arguments, in the Conspiracy thread, were posed to Premier Frank The J.
What, charitably, generously, could be considered responses fell into the category of ad hominems and insubstantial Twitter-weight literary retardations and flatulations. Then we readers and commenters are greeted with this Edict Of Nancies calling for a purge.
Nazis and Soviets purge. Brit royals wave their sceptres about and refuse to reply or barely acknowledge those whom they consider beneath their exalted station.
Frank has, with his failure to address the points raised, done nothing better than tuck tail and retreat.
It’s as simple as that.
IANAC!
Up The Rebels!
My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.
Bunk, can you quote even one of your questions/counter-arguments in the Conspiracy thread, in full, that can be fairly described as “polite”?
I can give examples of ad hominems easily enough: “Premier Frank The J. . . Edict Of Nancies . . . Nazis and Soviets . . . Brit royals . . . ”
I can also give examples of insubstantial Twitter-weight literary retardations and flatulations: i.e., “insubstantial Twitter-weight literary retardations and flatulations.”
Now, you may say, “He started it” —which would make you look weird — but even so, how could you condemn tactics you use?
@69:
Nice digression.
However, the point remains unaddressed by Frank.
Has he answered the question? No.
Has he acted in an intractable, petty, seemingly effete and imperious manner? Yes.
Is the calling for a “purge” a hallmark of the actions of Nazis and Soviets? Yes.
Are the Brit Royals renowned for their condescension? Oh, Hell, yes! (This I know from the time in my youth spent in Derry and Belfast.)
For this, it appears you are flacking and seeking to spread topical chaff.
My resorting to ad hominems in this thread are done after other, civil, means have yielded nothing and most appropriately are warranted by the target by his (in)action.
But, never wanting it to be said that I was anything but generous, I will acced to your request and give you two politely-phrased questions:
So Socratic enquiry is a hallmark of madness?
How then, Chief, does one separate intellectual meat from gristle?
Both of the above seeking to generate some modicum of understanding past Premier Frank’s insubstantial, reflexive resorting to calling SoB’s posts “insane”.
At the time, this was an honest endeavor at dialectic for the sake of understanding Frank’s grasp of the concept of “conspiracy”…which, subsequently, has proven to be quite weak.
Oppo, old son, it is my gentle advice to, in future, mind that you do not, as you have done now, step into a ring and begin punching above your weight class.
IANAC!
Up The Rebels!
Addendum:
Quoth Yon Frank:
If I’m going to be the type of person to teach my children to punch hippies, then I cannot let useless people indulging in idiocy to continue on …
Further questions begged are: 1)How does enquiry, to determine the validity of material presented and discern the details of a potential conspiracy, fall into the categories of being “useless” or “idiocy”? 2) Is this not a stand-alone illustration of an evidently uninformed person insultingly and imperiously disdaining the actions of another?
He cannot let useless people indulging in idiocy to continue on…
There goes Premier Frank, seeking to stand athwart enquiry, hollaring CEASE!
IANAC!
Up The Rebels!
“Nice digression.”
Meaning?
I’d replied to a comment of yours — is that a digression?
I simply responded to your characterization of your comments as “polite.” I wanted you to quote one of your posts, “in full,” that was polite, yet you couldn’t: you were only able to pluck one sentence that was (possibly two, but your second example was very borderline, due to the tone of “Chief”).
The tree of liberty must at times be watered with the blood of tyrants to paraphrase Mr. Jefferson. Are we in the midst of our very own IMAO Revolution here? Have we called the king a tyrant? Was there a metaphysical shot heard round the blog? Inquiring minds want to know. Yes, yes, yes I am not a crack pot, a crock pot, a potted plant or pot of the smoking variety. I will not pottage or call the pot black, kettle. I will continue to hold my opinion on this matter until I stick my wet finger in the air and see which way the wind is blowing (a typical political action).
“I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!”
– every crackpot ever –
I like this idea an think that it needs to be adopted my more blogs. However, I feel compelled to point out some basic design flaws. First, its based on the premise of the honor system. Lets face it, anyone who is going off on a conspiracy theory rant isn’t being honest with themselves, and if they won’t be honest with themselves why would they follow the honor system?
More importantly, the way the rule is stated, the punishment is not proportional to the degree of the offense. If I am going to speed in my car and the fine is the same no matter the speed, whats to keep me from driving 50 over the speed limit rather that 5? Frank’s rant on ranting was like a page long and he only had to say “I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!” the same amount as a person who only wrote 5 sentences. Instead you should have to write “I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!” for every sentence past 4 sentences not declaring yourself not a crackpot. That last bit is to prevent infinitely long posts.
I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!
I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!
I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!
I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!
I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!
“Stop! Stop, will you?! Stop that! Stop it! Now, look! No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle! Do you understand?! Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say ‘Jehovah’.” “Oooooooh!” >WHAP!<
“if you have a coherent thought, you can condense it. If you don’t, you just tend to blather on and on and hope to conceal in all the verbiage that you’re crazy.”
That explains so many political speeches
We need carpenter to weigh in on this.
MAYBE HE IS THE CRACKED POT.
So what’s so bad about being a CRACKPOT…this country is virtually run by CRACKPOTS.
If you argue on the internet, you maybe a crackpot. (Imagine this in a Jeff Foxworthy-like southern draaaawwwl)
Arguing conspiracy theories on IMAO is like competing in the Special Olympics… If you win, you get jellybeans!
-I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!
I read somewhere on the internet that it’s useless to argue on the internet but it happens so much it seems almost like a conspiracy to reduce the credibility of the internet to zero.
I DON’T THINK I AM A CRACKPOT but it’s hard to be sure.
Hi, my name is zzyzx and I’m a crackpot. Since joining Crackpots Anonymous and following their eleven point plan I’ve been able to control my crackpotism and I haven’t made a crackpot statement in three mouths. Thank you Crackpots Anonymous.
Congratulations, zzyzx! Just remember to take it one post at a time.
Actually, I don’t mind people who espouse crackpot theories. It helps to identify the ones to kill and eat first when society goes all Road Warrior.
@73-Oppo:
I wanted you to quote one of your posts, “in full,” that was polite, yet you couldn’t
No, you’re wrong on both counts…clearly you’ve some problems reading for comprehension…what you asked was:
Bunk, can you quote even one of your questions/counter-arguments in the Conspiracy thread, in full, that can be fairly described as “polite”?
This I did, twice. That means two. Questions. Y’know, those things which end with a ? Exceeded your request by one.
As for the prickly umbrage which you take at my use of the term “Chief”…sheesh, really grasping at straws aren’t you? Clearly you’ve not spent much time in Boston, where such a term is one of familiarity. I could see you bouncing up and down with justifiable offense had I called the man sh!thead, captain douche, lameoid, or any of a dozen other terms of derision. But I didn’t, did I? No. So [BZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!!] Fail Buzzer for you. Not to mention that ol Frankie happens to be the “Chief” of this little cyber-firehouse.
So, nice try, keep eating your Wheaties, and maybe you’ll be able to punch on the professional level one day, Kiddo! [Tousles the youthful Oppo’s hair and chuckles in the same way an adult would seeing a child clomping about in their parents old, oversized Army uniform.]
Well gee, I didn’t think I live to see this sad state of affairs. Conservatives noshing on each other. That is the way we’ve managed to win the last 2 presidential elections……..wait, oh yeah we didn’t did we? Well that’s the way we managed to kick the socialists out of the Senate…..wait we didn’t to that either. What do you mean Elizabeth “I’m an Indian” Warren is in the Senate? Shoot. Well keep it up y’all, we have another wonderful opportunity in 2014. Maybe we can have completely destroyed what’s little left of the party, that way the other side won’t have to spend all money on the campaign. Hitlery will thank you with a nice big tax hike. (yes, I know it’s long blah, blah, blah blah -now it’s longer. I’d turn in my bacon but I really love bacon so)
YGDFT!YLTATSOTE
Frank,
You’re wrong here –
1. What if I and a Crackpot? Where am I going to post? Most of the other Nutball sites have suppresd my attemts to get the “Real Truth” out.
2. Who are we going to make fun of, and feel better about ourselves knowing we are not “That Crazy”?
@87: You’re right: I should have said “posts” or “counter-arguments” instead of “questions/counter-arguments.”
@39. CrustyB
I’m still laughing!
oppo #63: really its as wild as saying the us government knew about pearl harbor and sat there and let it happen so they had a convenient excuse to go to war.
I mean, really. what sort of nutjob crackpot would ever suggest a thing? that’s just crazy, look at how crazy that sounds! see? now whomever uttered that should be banned permanently, we dont need crazy crackpot theories like that, they have no merit or truth to them whatsoever, and people repeating that stuff are just paranoid conspiracy theorists.
I mean, if course, until the us government itself releases the information 70 years after the fact, long after all the crazy conspiracy theorists are dead and the government has gotten away with making up a story. shhh – the government doesnt do things like that, I mean, what would be the advantage to doing so?