“Scientists have invented a smart pill that can remember all your passwords. What we REALLY need is a pill that…”
… won’t make me sick
One that won’t make me crash my car
Or make me feel three feet thick
I want a new drug
One that won’t hurt my head
One that won’t make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red
One that won’t make me nervous
Wonderin’ what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you
I want a new drug
One that won’t spill
One that don’t cost too much
Or come in a pill
I want a new drug
One that won’t go away
One that won’t keep me up all night
One that won’t make me sleep all day
One that won’t make me nervous
Wonderin’ what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you
I’m alone with you baby
I want a new drug
One that does what it should
One that won’t make me feel too bad
One that won’t make me feel too good
I want a new drug
One with no doubt
One that won’t make me talk too much
Or make my face break out
One that won’t make me nervous
Wonderin’ what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you
All alone with you
All alone with you, yea, yea
…does NOT cause:
* a light-headed feeling, like you might pass out;
* acne, increased sweating, dry skin, thinning skin, bruising or discoloration;
* bloody or tarry stools, coughing up blood;
* blurred vision, eye pain, or seeing halos around lights;
* changes in the shape or location of body fat (especially in your arms, legs, face, neck, breasts, and waist).
* chest pain; or
* cough;
* dangerously high blood pressure (severe headache, blurred vision, buzzing in your ears, anxiety, confusion, chest pain, shortness of breath, uneven heartbeats, seizure).
* depressed mood;
* dizziness, drowsiness, headache;
* fever, chills, body aches, flu symptoms;
* headache, dizziness, spinning sensation;
* high potassium (slow heart rate, weak pulse, muscle weakness, tingly feeling);
* increased appetite, gradual weight gain;
* little or no urinating;
* low potassium (confusion, uneven heart rate, extreme thirst, increased urination, leg discomfort, muscle weakness or limp feeling); or
* mild skin itching or rash.
* nausea, stomach pain, bloating; or
* nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, upset stomach; or
* pancreatitis (severe pain in your upper stomach spreading to your back, nausea and vomiting, fast heart rate);
* psoriasis (raised, silvery flaking of the skin);
* severe depression, feelings of extreme happiness or sadness, changes in personality or behavior, seizure (convulsions);
* sleep problems (insomnia), mood changes;
* slow wound healing;
* swelling, rapid weight gain, feeling short of breath;
* swelling, rapid weight gain;
* tired feeling, muscle weakness, and pounding or uneven heartbeats;
* four hour erections
* seepage
…contains the perfect mix of alcohol, caffeine and nicotine with the satisfaction of great love making. It could be marketed as The Pill For When There Is No Game On TV Worth Watching.
…that works better than being dead to get the IRS to go away.
…that cures liberalism without the nasty radioactive wasteland aftertaste.
…that kills hackers, kills their families and their friends, kills their pets and burns down their houses and blows up their own computers and leaves you smelling minty fresh.
…deletes the obamas, biden and hillary
“Scientists have invented a smart pill that can remember all your passwords. What we REALLY need is a pill that…”
…helps you forget what happened in Vegas last week.
…can block NSA probing.
…helps you to remember to take the first pill.
“Scientists have invented a smart pill that can remember all your passwords. What we REALLY need is a pill that…”
…you don’t have to ask Alice about.
…is your password so you don’t have to remember anything.
“Scientists have invented a smart pill that can remember all your passwords. What we REALLY need is a pill that…”
… won’t make me sick
One that won’t make me crash my car
Or make me feel three feet thick
I want a new drug
One that won’t hurt my head
One that won’t make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red
One that won’t make me nervous
Wonderin’ what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you
I want a new drug
One that won’t spill
One that don’t cost too much
Or come in a pill
I want a new drug
One that won’t go away
One that won’t keep me up all night
One that won’t make me sleep all day
One that won’t make me nervous
Wonderin’ what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you
I’m alone with you baby
I want a new drug
One that does what it should
One that won’t make me feel too bad
One that won’t make me feel too good
I want a new drug
One with no doubt
One that won’t make me talk too much
Or make my face break out
One that won’t make me nervous
Wonderin’ what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you
All alone with you
All alone with you, yea, yea
Scientists have invented a smart pill that can remember all your passwords. What we REALLY need is a pill that…
…reduces the size and scope of government to the size that it was originally intended to be.
Scientists have invented a smart pill that can remember all your passwords. What we REALLY need is a pill that…
…is not in the possession of the government.
…that make us forget Obama. Who?
…to cure healthcare
… cures islamism. Al Qaeda Seltzer
Scientists have invented a smart pill that can remember all your passwords. What we REALLY need is a pill that…
…comes in a leopard skin hat variety.
…is somewhat dumb so we can forget the passwords we no longer use.
…forces liberal idiots to not use the cap key lock.
Scientists have invented a smart pill that can remember all your passwords. What we REALLY need is a pill that…
…get Scientist to concentrate on worthwhile research and not scam the government on useless ideas.
… cures political careerism and won’t give you an election lasting more than four years.
teh cure teh libruls
Scientists have invented a smart pill that can remember all your passwords. What we REALLY need is a pill that…
…forces politicians to self-destruct after serving 10 years in any elected capacity.
remembers what you needed all those passwords for….
Scientists have invented a smart pill that can remember all your passwords. What we REALLY need is a pill that…
…tastes like bacon.
Scientists have invented a smart pill that can remember all your passwords. What we REALLY need is a pill that…
…puts a smile on your lips and a song in your heart.
…cures male patterned baldness.
@17a See this cartoon page
@17b: Rogaine, perhaps (not a pill, but…)?
…assimilates us to the matrix.
…puts your wife in a mood so that you can get some use out of your little blue one.
…does NOT cause:
* a light-headed feeling, like you might pass out;
* acne, increased sweating, dry skin, thinning skin, bruising or discoloration;
* bloody or tarry stools, coughing up blood;
* blurred vision, eye pain, or seeing halos around lights;
* changes in the shape or location of body fat (especially in your arms, legs, face, neck, breasts, and waist).
* chest pain; or
* cough;
* dangerously high blood pressure (severe headache, blurred vision, buzzing in your ears, anxiety, confusion, chest pain, shortness of breath, uneven heartbeats, seizure).
* depressed mood;
* dizziness, drowsiness, headache;
* fever, chills, body aches, flu symptoms;
* headache, dizziness, spinning sensation;
* high potassium (slow heart rate, weak pulse, muscle weakness, tingly feeling);
* increased appetite, gradual weight gain;
* little or no urinating;
* low potassium (confusion, uneven heart rate, extreme thirst, increased urination, leg discomfort, muscle weakness or limp feeling); or
* mild skin itching or rash.
* nausea, stomach pain, bloating; or
* nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, upset stomach; or
* pancreatitis (severe pain in your upper stomach spreading to your back, nausea and vomiting, fast heart rate);
* psoriasis (raised, silvery flaking of the skin);
* severe depression, feelings of extreme happiness or sadness, changes in personality or behavior, seizure (convulsions);
* sleep problems (insomnia), mood changes;
* slow wound healing;
* swelling, rapid weight gain, feeling short of breath;
* swelling, rapid weight gain;
* tired feeling, muscle weakness, and pounding or uneven heartbeats;
* four hour erections
* seepage
Nah, FormerHostage, instead of all that, I’d settle for one that neuters Democrats.
… will allow you to listen to an Obama speech without getting sleepy or nauseous: Drama-mine.
@21 You forgot “Death”. Also “Sadness in Squirrels” for that matter.
… causes Politicians to remember and act on their promises.
@21 do not take if using MAOIs. (not to be confused with IMAO)
. . . keeps pop-up advertising from appearing on websites and spam from appearing in my in-box.
… causes Democraps to think.
…will stop politicans from lying.
…will stop politicians from lying… and comes in 30 pill magazines… er bottles.
…that makes us larger, and another to make us small…
“Scientists have invented a smart pill that can remember all your passwords. What we REALLY need is a pill that…”
I would post a comment but I can’t remember my password
Scientists have invented a smart pill that can remember all your passwords. What we REALLY need is a pill that…
…provides care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; slows the rise of the oceans and heals our planet.
Scientists have invented a smart pill that can remember all your passwords. What we REALLY need is a pill that…
…gives us super human powers so we can fight for truth, justice and the American way!
…provides immunity from the side-effects of all other pills.
FormerHostage@20–that’s your job (try flowers)!
(Well, see also a recent Redbook article if that doesn’t work.)
…cures Obama care.
(which I think Rodney Dill meant @8).
“Scientists have invented a smart pill that can remember all your passwords. What we REALLY need is a pill that…”
…is a meal like was shown on the Jetsons.
…gives us immunity from IRS audits
…makes us invisible
What we really need is a pill that…
Will protect our Purity of Essence from floridated water!
…contains the perfect mix of alcohol, caffeine and nicotine with the satisfaction of great love making. It could be marketed as The Pill For When There Is No Game On TV Worth Watching.
…that works better than being dead to get the IRS to go away.
…that cures liberalism without the nasty radioactive wasteland aftertaste.
…that kills hackers, kills their families and their friends, kills their pets and burns down their houses and blows up their own computers and leaves you smelling minty fresh.
what was the frickin question?
a pill that eliminates progressives of any species, terrorist of any type and would allow me to get a good night sleep.
one pill that makes incomes larger, and one pill that makes taxes small. ‘Cause the stimulants Obama gives you don’t do anything at all.
Maverick @43–Applause. Applause. Applause.
…..makes us forget all the horrible things obama has done.
…..a pill that sends Obama into another dimension where he can’t hurt anyone.
…gets Joe Theisman to stop talking about his prostate.
@20 and @36 Forget Redbook.
Talk to her.
Words are the best aphrodisiac…
@47 – How about reading Redbook to her? Might lead to some interesting… uh… conversations…
@48 Hmm. Have to admit I’ve never read it. Are there…good…articles?
I do enjoy it when someone reads to me. It could work.
Maybe you should try it…
@49 – Ok, should I read “A Man’s-Eye View of Bikini Season” or “5 Delicious New Takes on the Classic Cookie Bar”?
@50 You’re asking me? 🙂
@51 – That’s usually what a question mark at the end of a sentence means, yes.
Ummmm….
I’m not sure I’d want to hear about why men like to look at women in bikinis. Hmm. I think I already have an inkling.
But I do love delicious cookies…..
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