I'm no conspiracy theorist, but isn't a little TOO perfect that Oswald shot JFK from a window in a museum devoted to the assassination?
— Ruth Graham (@publicroad) November 22, 2013
"Oswalt acted alone" – my review of a @pattonoswalt one-man show
— Andy Levy (@andylevy) November 22, 2013
How busy was the dude who named the anteater
— Jeffrey Hadz (@Hadzilla) November 22, 2013
JFK was killed on the orders of United Fruit, simply because he said the price of grapefruit was too high. Now I'll probably be killed too.
— Michael Kupperman (@MKupperman) November 23, 2013
Liberals celebrate ending sanctions on a nation that lynches gays, stones women & wants to exterminate Jews, But they boycott Chick-fil-A.
— jon gabriel (@exjon) November 24, 2013
I never give money to those Salvation Army people because I know they're just gonna spend it on more bells.
— Brandon Gutermuth (@UNTRESOR) November 26, 2013
There's no sadder sight than a room full of elephants ignoring each other.
— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) November 27, 2013
Cracked the code on the parental controls, so I'm like 40% sure I could point out sex now if I saw it happening.
— Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) November 29, 2013
There are no false reports that people have died, only premature ones.
— James Taranto (@jamestaranto) December 1, 2013
Complaining about a broken Obamacare website is like complaining about a blown head gasket on a molester's van.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) December 1, 2013
We are pleased to announce that, by official White House executive order, the end of November has been delayed for one year.
— HealthCare.Gov (@HealthDotGov) December 2, 2013