23 Comments

  1. Eric Holder announced a new DoJ program to end racial profiling…

    unfortunately it was on an accidentally erased Hard Drive.

    and begin profiling by people’s skin color. Starting with white.

    doomed to failure since its main requirement was Anonymiss cookies.

  2. Eric Holder announced a new DoJ program to end racial profiling…

    because only in the government does it take an entire program with hundreds of workers, trying to implement pre-written instructions with complicated check-lists involving reems of paper work just to stop doing something.

  3. …entitled “Affirmative Enforcement”, it involves giving certain demographics a pass on most crimes, concentrating on raising the conviction level of each ethnic and/or religious group to match their percentage of the population.

  4. Eric Holder announced a new DoJ program to end racial profiling…

    I’m gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see,
    I’m gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see.
    When I kill all the whities I see, then whitey he won’t bother me,
    I’m gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see.

    (Holder probably thought that SNL skit was a documentary.)

  5. …white officers required to choke their chicken while onlookers shout hands up hands up, hell nawww. Pants up pants up.

    …blacker has immunity from cracker.

    …all white cops still have a black partner they grudgingly get along with, but now he must be a retired Harvard professor.

  6. @13 DamnCat: I like it — now just add a feisty weather girl trying to make it as a news reporter . . .

    … Holder call it the Program to Eliminate Racial Profiling, or P.E.R.P. Says Holder, “It is hard to see how this P.E.R.P. will be beaten.” “We are all P.E.R.P.s now.”

  7. …cops must drive by crime scenes and try to kill any suspects with stray bullets.

    …anyone being questioned by police must first sign a do not resuscitate form. And must know how to spell resuscitate.

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