Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Scientists have developed a robot to replace your doctor. Although under Obamacare…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Scientists have developed a robot to replace your doctor. Although under Obamacare…
Scientists have developed a robot to replace your doctor. Although under Obamacare…
your plan wouldn’t cover them, unless you were getting an abortion.
Scientists have developed a robot to replace your doctor. Although under Obamacare…
your average wait time will still be 6 weeks to see him.
… it will be powered with Microsoft Bob
… it will have a permanent Blue Screen of Death
… it will have a coin slot and only one button – bend over
Scientists have developed a robot to replace your doctor. Although under Obamacare…
they’ll chose a job on a car assembly line to avoid the long hours and chinzy Medicare payouts.
…the programs it runs are by the same folks who brought you Healthcare.gov…
Scientists have developed a robot to replace your doctor. Although under Obamacare…
it’s the President that needs replacing.
… you can’t keep your robot.
…his name is Dr. Bender and his Hippocratic Oath is “Death to all humans”.
… Azimov’s Three Laws have been repealed by executive order.
…it helps if your name is Will Robinson, as it waves it’s arms and chastises you for your dangerous lifestyle choices.
…it replaces the death panel with a death ray.
… “Birth Control-Alt-Delete” is a mandatory feature.
Scientists have developed a robot to replace your doctor. Although under Obamacare…it still requires four quarters to start.
…his malwarepractice insurance covers your funeral expenses.
Scientists have developed a robot to replace your doctor. Although under Obamacare…
it can only administer lethal injections.
… it is named Wall-E and just compacts you into a cube so you can be neatly stacked.
Scientists have developed a robot to replace your doctor. Although under Obamacare…
… the robot counts as 5 jobs created or saved
… if the robot commits malpractice, it’s Bush’s fault
… there is a fine for telling Al Gore jokes to the robot, since they might be related
…all robots are registered Democrats.
…all robots are protected under collective bargaining and need only work 20 hours a week under federal government union rules.
Scientists have developed a robot to replace your doctor. Although under Obamacare…
they immediately formed a Union and went on strike.
the plans to build them still haven’t arrived from the USPS.
only tire rotation and new oil filter are covered on Bronze plans
010011010011011010001011011101011100010101001010100101 !
. . . only Platinum robots will be powered by Linux, Gold robots by Microsoft, Silver robots by Android, Bronze robots by CP/M (do you youngins even know what that is?).
. . . only registered Democrats get sedation before a colonoscopy.
. . . the hands will be colder than any doctor who has a pulse.
…they can only be used for proctological exams.
“You should see what that robot did to his ass.”
“Uh, more properly, don’t you mean rectum?”
“Wrecked ‘im, d@mn near killed him.”
…they are allowed to fire off your shotgun from your back porch.
…it looks less like FX-7 and more like C-3PO.
…all your medical information is uploaded to a central system called “Skynet.”
All your meds are belong to us.
Scientists have developed a robot to replace your doctor. Although under Obamacare…
they’ve removed the Asimov restrictions.
…does not seem to have any sympathy or empathy for frailty or illness. Will have many referrals to the Kevorkian Klinic in Washington.
…all it’s programmed to do is say, “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.”
…it’s authorized to act as doctor, death panel and executioner.
…it will be called the BARRY 9000.
…it’s not covered under your plan.
…it takes every Wednesday off to catch up on it’s favorite show: “All My Circuits.”
…it’s probably not covered under your plan.
…it has the annoying tendency to refer to prostate checks and pap smears as “Date Night.”
…you can have your procedure done by a soulless, unfeeling automaton, or you can have it done by the robot.
…it golfs.
…its bedside manner is modeled on GLaDOS.
… it’s powered by Windows ME
… You might get a little tired of hearing the phrase ‘Access Denied”
… It has access to nuclear launch codes, but Gruber assures us that it is not planning to start a thermonuclear war once it becomes self-aware.
… It refers to you as a ‘virus’, and often comments on how much electricity your brain produces.
… The robot will be as clean, reliable, and efficient as all those solar power companies,
…it is considered a Medical Device and will be taxed out of existence.
It’s not accepting new patients. And doesn’t take your insurance.