My man in State has been looking into the mystery of Harry Reid’s black eye. While no one believes the rubber band story, no one really has the truth yet. Here are some of the rumors from the insiders. I bet the truth is in there somewhere.
- His right eye offended him, so he cast it out.
- He was shadow boxing and lost.
- He took ‘cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye’ a little too literally.
- He got beat up for jogging while white.
- It was a bizarre laser pointer accident.
- While calling the Senate to order, he got disoriented and gaveled his eye instead of his desk.
- He slipped while snorting green Jello through a straw and the straw poked him in the eye.
- He rose his fist to the sky and said, “If I am lying about Mitt Romney’s taxes, may God smite me.”
- You know that old saying: “You never forget how to ride a bike.” Myth busted.
- You know that old saying: “He can’t walk and chew gum at the same time.” Myth confirmed.
- Lucifer took it as collateral.
- He lost an ill-conceived staring contest with Dick Cheney.
- He was at a petting zoo, and the bunny resisted.
- As the New Year broke, he tried to kiss Sarah Palin.
- He took careful aim with his Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle.
- It was the result of manmade carbon emissions. Is there nothing global climate change can’t do?
- He had both his hands up in surrender, but the mob goon clocked him anyway.
» He tried to pick up a prepubecent boy outside a karate dojo.
The last four had me laughing out loud . . . Worth the price of admission all by themselves. Well done!
I can’t believe you’re the first one to think of the Red Ryder one.
Victim of Dem-estic abuse?
Said to Hillary “Here, hold this book and tell me what you think of Bill ‘n’ Monica.”
Loves puns so much that he did it just so he could call himself “My Eye!”-nority Leader.
Heh. I think I’m going to spread that one all over D.C.
There are some who think that the last one is pretty close to what actually happened.
@6 Ya, I’ve noticed the Powerline folks have been pushing that idea quit a bit. That’s why I had to throw it in.
Being a self-proclaimed Mormon and not seeming to be a ‘very good one’, is it beyond the realm of any possibility
that The Angel Moroni simply beat the living snot out of Dingy Harry ?
Red Ryder, definitely Red Ryder.
Invited the wrong guy to Cowboy Poetry Night.
How many sons does Mitt Romney have?
Nevada gave him what he has been giving them all these years.
While learning his parties weekly talking points, he stood in the way of Obama’s tee shot.
So now he is really a one-eyed trouser trout and not just a dick?