Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The US military has developed a brand new superweapon…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The US military has developed a brand new superweapon…
They call it “The Cankle”
Unfortunately it is only effective if the enemy lays down and dies.
It is a “smell pellet” that is fired at the enemy. When it explodes it smells like Bernie Sander’s pits, Al Sharpton’s hair, Hillary Clinton’s nether regions and Harry Reid’s feet. The bad guys either suffocate or kill themselves.
…but they can’t use it because the splattering and burning of the enemy’s bodies is not carbon neutral.
…and it’s solar powered so…no night combat.
…but they can’t use it because that would be xenophobic/racist/imperialist/mean.
…a Marine,
with a rifle,
and a scope,
and a clear line of sight,
and a bullet,
and a target.
The US military has developed a brand new superweapon…
it is called Liberal Progressivism and when applied to any military completely destroys its effectiveness. Test conducted on the US military has shown it’s capabilities.
The US military has developed a brand new superweapon…
but they can’t field it yet because it has not been shown to be gender neutral yet.
The US military has developed a brand new superweapon…
…an anti-drone drone.
…politically correct political correctness.
…the ham sandwich.
…they’ve weaponized Rosie O’Donnel’s flatulence.
Just an aside about this story that struck me as curious. From the story.
“Described as ‘Star Wars technology’ by researchers, the rail gun can fire a shell weighing 10kg at up to 5,400mph over 100 miles. It does this with such force and accuracy it penetrates three concrete walls or six half-inch thick steel plates.”
Sounds impressive but “Six half-inch thick steel plates.” I would venture equals 3 inches of steel. Ahem. The Tiger tank of WWII fame had 180mm of frontal armor which equals roughly 7 inches. The basic armor of an Abrahms Tank is 350mm [not counting sloping effect and other add on that increases the effective thinkness] equal to over 14 inches. So exactly how is this Superweapon very super? Either the writer missed something or did not convey the actual power of the gun very well.
…invented by the mysterious Wiley C. and manufactured by the notorious Acme Company…
…- it has all the bells and whistles – that’s it…
…code named “The Omelet Maker”, it promises to “break some eggs”…
…it delivers a 5 ton bacon payload – the range will easily reach Mecca…
It has a close-cropped beard and its code name rhymes with “Duck, Boris!”
…using the latest in microaggression technology to instill self-loathing and despair in enemy combatants…
. . . called Obamacare! It has been known to economically destroy every country it’s been tried in!
. . . which unlike Obama, might actually work on occasion.
Trogdor!
… PanzerFaust: forces the enemy to sell his soul.
… Han Grenade: for those who want to shoot first.
… Ham Grenade (no explanation necessary)
… Heat-Seeking Mistletoe
…causes extreme apathy…. but who cares.
…The Benghazinator…. instead of fighting back the enemy just responds, “At this point, what difference does it make?”
The Bacannon…. but what a way to go.
… the Tupolev Tu-22M3 Backfire Obama.
… a militant two-year-old who points to enemy territory and says: “Mine!” It’s called the Land Mine.
… which is unfortunately a bully. It’s called the Scud Farkus.
… Shillary barking like a dog?
… it uses near-naked pictures of women to stop jihadis in their tracks. It’s called the Maxim Silencer.
… it uses near-naked discarded women to stop jihadis in their tracks. It’s called the Bubbazooka.
… which has spaked a competition between Obama and Hillary to be the villain to threaten to use it.
@25 – wouldn’t the second one be the Boobazooka?
@27: I’d have to see the field tests to make a decision.
(@26: Oops. “spaked” = “sparked.)
… the Koran’ed Rifle.
… designed by the new gay-friendly staff: the “HelLOcopter.
…it releases a terrorist so fast it makes their heads spin.
…it fires Victoria’s Secret catalogs coated with a powerful laxative, destroying the enemies option of not going blind.
…that will be mothballed until we have a government elected that does not think all our enemies are domestic.