Archive of entries posted on February 2017

The Illustrated Frank J: Excuse Me, Friend, But Your Protest Sign Needs an Asterisk

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[source]

You Will Freak Out and Die After Reading This About Trump!

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A therapist says that many of his clients are now suffering from “headline stress disorder” from overexposure to negative stories about President Trump.

Which makes me wonder how crazy the people are who WRITE the headlines.

Does SpongeBob Have a Green Card?

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[Submitted by slapout (High Praise!)]

Link of the Day: Satire – Pelosi and Schumer Arrested for Grave Robbing

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[High Praise! to The Red Schtick]

Pelosi and Schumer Arrested for Grave Robbing

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

We’ll Have to Ask You to Leave the Country… If That’s OK With You, Eh?

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Illegal immigrants in the United States are sneaking into Canada in record numbers to avoid deportation.

They’re not building a wall, but there IS talk of a maple syrup moat.

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Straight Line of the Day: A Suspicious Russian Ship Was Caught off the US Coast. What Was It Doing There?

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Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

A suspicious Russian ship was spotted very near the US coast. What was it doing there?

Well, At Least Obama’s Birth Certificate Is Protected Now

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The US Navy successfully tested a new shipboard missile defense system in Hawaii.

Cool!… Any chance we can FedEx it overnight to the coast of Connecticut?

The Illustrated Frank J: Actually, Democrats Thought Hillary Fit That Description

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“And Then What?” Is Not a Question Liberals Habitually Ask

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On Twitter, leftist comedian Sarah Silverman called for a military coup to overthrow President Trump

Completely overlooking the fact that none of her leftist friends have any guns to overthrow the military coup.

It’s What Used to Be Called “Plain English”

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[Submitted by slapout (High Praise!)]

Link of the Day: Satire – Trump Signs Executive Order Making English Official Language of World

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[High Praise! to The NewsMutiny]

Trump Signs Executive Order Making English Official Language of World

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Next Season of “The Apprentice” to Be Hosted by Groundskeeper Willie

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To save money, some school districts are considering using students as janitors.

Economical. Also, it seems fair to make them clean up all those Michelle Obama school lunches they’re still throwing away every day.

[title reference link]

7 Reasons You Should Be Glad Trump’s Muslim Travel Ban Got Stopped

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So… 60% of the refugees admitted into the US since a federal judge halted President Trump’s executive order designed to prevent “foreign terrorist entry into the United States” come from five of the seven countries identified by the Trump administration (AND Obama’s) as most risky.

But that’s ok. Because these refugees will, no doubt, eventually end up doing the jobs Americans won’t do. Like:

Maybe just DJ at a nightclub

Maybe just DJ at a nightclub

Airline pilot

Cobbler

Specialty Undergarment Supplier

Holiday Party Planner

Cookware Manufacturer

US Army Medical Corps Psychiatrist

Mall Cop

Who are we to keep them from living the dream and Making America Grave Again?

Straight Line of the Day: Obamacare Is So Bad, It Would Be an Improvement to Replace It With…

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Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Obamacare is so bad, it’d be an improvement to replace it with…

Quick Question

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If Trump Is Hitler, does that make “Art of the Deal” his “Mein Kampf”?

Which would be odd, because it talks about building casinos, not concentration camps.

And unlike Obama’s book, he doesn’t even mention eating dogs.