Two Part Plan to Reform Politics
1. Pass law that people in Congress are only allowed to talk when they have the talking stick
2. Destroy talking stick

It’s pretty amazing that Get Out is Jordan Peele’s only director credit.

First they came for the Nazis, and I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t a Nazi.
…No, wait, I said, “Awesome!”
Then they came for the Commies, and I said, “Good. For a moment I was afraid you’d stop with the Nazis.”
And then things were good.

Before joining a secret society, ask a lot of questions. If they answer any of them, it’s not a good secret society.

Trying to teach my 2yo to say, “Ha ha, father. How droll.” after I tease her instead of just scream.

If you’re involved with the doomsday clock, you should not be allowed to call yourself a scientist.

This isn’t that complicated. Scientifically, human life begins at conception. The area for debate is the religious question of when do you give value to that life, a debate science can inform but not decide.

Man, I’ve seen a lot of people on the left lately complaining about the NYT not being left-wing biased enough. Sounds like winners.
They need to believe their positions are so good that even the slightest challenge is a huge betrayal, but in fact their ideas are terrible which is why they are so sensitive to them being challenged as they lack the ability to defend them by anything other than spewing emotion.
You would think the antidote to Trump would be some sort of reasoned, intellectual analysis, but everyone is instead just trying to out-dumb him. And succeeding.

Hillary Clinton’s current purpose is to make us feel better about electing Trump and that is very noble of her.

Drove through a whole town in Texas where my Verizon phone only had one bar of 1X coverage. I don’t know how you’d live like that.

I don’t understand why anyone would want to listen to a State of the Union address.

Did they give another Grammy to Hillary?

Congratulations to the winners and my sympathy to the losers, i.e., anyone who watched the Grammys.

Remember when Obama got a Nobel Peace Prize just for existing?
I don’t miss that guy. I’d rather a terrible president people are overly critical of than a terrible president people are constantly trying to prop up as something great.
Even better would be a terrible president people are correctly critical of so their good criticism of him are constantly drowned out by their really dumb ones.
I guess even better than that would be some sort of non-terrible president, but I don’t see the point in venturing into the realm of scifi or fantasy.

Putting Hillary Clinton on reading The Fire and the Fury to anger the right is a bit like someone on the right drinking a gallon of feces on video in an attempt to “trigger the libs.”

I’m reading this book “Heads You Lose” where two people alternate writing chapters and they keep passive-aggressively fighting each other by cutting off each other’s plot threads, and I realized what it reminded me of: the current Star Wars trilogy.

I’m hoping JJ Abrams opens Episode IX by revealing Snoke had Kylo fake his death, Luke only transported himself and didn’t die, and Rose and Holdo are working for the New Order and we were right to hate them.

“Kylo, did you make sure Rey didn’t find out the really interesting secret about her parents?”
“Yes, Snoke, I lied to her about that. BTW, we found some boy on the casino planet who can use the force.”

“I don’t care about that. That’s dumb. Don’t bring that up again.”

“Rose, did you kill Finn?”

“Sorry, Master Snoke, I tried, but he survived me crashing into him. Then I had to come up with some excuse about love or some garbage. I don’t think he bought it. It was very forced.”

“Holdo, did you fool the Resistance?”

“Yes, Snoke, I told them I had to stay behind to pilot the ship–though that’s stupid. Then I made it look like I used the ship as some sort of hyperspace missile–though that’s obviously preposterous or everyone would do that all the time.”

Meanwhile, Luke appears before Rey.
“Are you a force ghost, Master Luke?”
“No, I used the force to transport myself. As long as we’re making up force powers, I can do that. Also, me being cranky and hating the force was a test.”
“Did I pass it?”
“Dunno. It was a stupid test.”

I’m a cord cutter, so I need to figure out the cheapest way I can still watch curling this Winter Olympics.

What are we supposed to do on Twitter while Trump is too busy giving some dumb speech to tweet?

Trump smashes the teleprompter with a baseball bat
“I’ve decided to speak from the heart.”

“So I saw this movie, The Purge, and it got me thinking…” #SOTU

I hope Trump announces some cool new infrastructure project to bring us lot of jobs like a bridge to the moon. I’ve always wanted to mix cement. #SOTU

They really got a Kennedy for the SOTU response? That’s not a joke? They at least made sure this is one who didn’t drown or sexually assault any women, right?

Once again, it’s the party with dumb new ideas versus the one with no new ideas.

“Pence, are the Democrats booing the country?”
“Oh no, they’re not booing the country, sir, they’re shouting, ‘Boo-S-A! Boo-S-A!’”

So what was the Kennedy response?
“I had my butler read me an article about poverty; it sounds horrible.”

“We have to get rid of these jokers and replace them with these clowns.” -partisans

What if in future Trump wrote all his tweets from a teleprompter?

Having a Kennedy give the response was just smart politics plus it’s great cross-promotion for that Chappaquiddick movie coming out.

The words of politicians are so cheap. I don’t know why we keep engaging in this theater like they mean anything.