[High Praise! to Oppo]

Paper Fact Fighter (to the tune of “Paperback Writer” by The Beatles)

Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my take
On the daily news, what is real or fake?
It’s based on the viewpoint of a man named ME!
And I need a job, so I want to be a paper fact-fighter
Paper Fact Fighter

It’s a duty fit for a duty-filled man
And his Klingon wife doesn’t understand
The sun is shining and the seas recede
All because of ME, and I want to be a paper fact-fighter
Paper Fact Fighter

There’s a thousand falsehoods, give or take a few
I’ll be telling more when I’m on The View
They can have ME longer if they like my style
Hope and change is around, ’cause they want ME as a pay-per-fact fighter
Paper Fact Fighter

If you really like it, we can stop the right
If you pay a million to ME every night
Elon Musk supports it, and the Imam too,
But I need a break, ’cause it’s hard to be a paper fact-fighter
Paper Fact Fighter