I cant not overemphasize the importance of this Kickstarter. Bears kill thousands of people per day.

My 2yo the other day saw two large dogs and said “I want to see the bears.” If you honestly think something is a bear, you should not go toward it. What are they teaching her on that garbage on Netflix she watches?

I don’t even understand why people hate Barbara Bush because I never heard anyone say anything bad about her while she was alive — only after her death. I guess they were really scared of her.

Am I a conservative? I’m socially conservative, but not in a government mandate way. Politically, I want to conserve what’s classically liberal… what’s little that is left.

I think a conservative can vote for Trump, but I don’t get claiming he’s a conservative. A conservative can use a hand grenade, but you don’t have to pretend it shares your politics.

I’m not at war with my fellow Americans, even the ones who think they’re at war with me.

I don’t know about every Starbucks closing for sensitivity training, but they should at least remove the Confederate flag they hang in the middle of every store.
And their once a year “Wear a Nazi armband, get a free Frappuccino” event seems misguided.

What if we’re wrong and Trump is good and we’re bad? What if the reality is that Nickleback is the most brilliant musical group of this era? What if man buns are actually really cool?

Got my first 3-star review of Sidequest on Amazon (that’s two whole stars of not liking it!). Some people have complained about the ending, but I will fight you on that. I think if you see it as either a nullification or a reset, you misinterpreted it.

I thought the trailers for the first Deadpool looked dumb and I was really surprised by how much it grossed opening weekend. The trailers for the second one are really selling me on it, though.

Remember the Dirty Harry movie Dead Pool in which Jim Carrey did a music video tribute to the exorcist with the song “Welcome to the Jungle”? I don’t know why I bring that up; it was just weird.
Also, it’s hard for modern audiences to buy the idea that Liam Neeson needs someone else to protect him.

It would be nice that if instead of death threats on Twitter, people did hug threats.
“If I ever see you, I’m going to hug you!”
No. Wait. That scares me too.

Why is it news a college professor said a dumb, hateful thing? That’s why they’re college professors: They’re unemployable everywhere else.
And I guess also couldn’t get elected into political office.

Paying for something with cash is so old fashioned. It makes me feel like a cowboy.

Know who also thought that whoever disagreed with him was worse than Hitler?
Hitler.

I can tell you from experience that it’s really difficult to build a robot that’s good at killing people and a machine to send it back in time, but one is harder than the other.

I’d say it’s about an equal chance the Trump presidency ends with him either in prison or sleeping with more porn stars.

About 95% of activists are grifters or weirdos who just like getting angry all the time, so it’s very hard to tell when something bad happens that actually is worth paying attention to.

The nirvana of political satire is when you’re not exactly sure which side you’re making fun of.

Read some views that make you angry. Because you are very wrong on something you think you are very right about and you need to be challenged.

A natural defense in this day and age is that the attempt to crush viewpoints instead tends to amplify them.

My 2yo had to get glasses and now she’s an adorkable hipster.

When we saw she had a lazy eye, we thought she just going to have to wear a patch eye for awhile (we were going to get her a pirate outfit), but ends up she needs to wear glasses for the next 6 to 10 years.

That all the liberal justices took the city’s side in Kelo v. City of New London shows where their true priorities lie, and it’s not in siding with the poor and disenfranchised.

Probably the most damning detail in Kevin Williamson’s WSJ piece was that of all the publications that wrote about him, only Vox actually contacted him to ask what he meant. Even those who are supposed to be journalists are just acting as part of a Twitter mob now.
Maybe they should all be fired.

I guess why the whole mob thing against Kevin Williamson is so hard to fathom is that I see views I find repugnant all the time, but it never crosses my mind to form a mob against them. If they just ignored Williamson, what bad thing did they think might happen?
I guess that he might lynch them.
This is also why the whole people trying to rise up against a Chick-fil-A in NYC was so baffling. “Oh no! People I disagree with are making chicken sandwiches!” And then what’s going to happen?

Feel like I should comment on the whole Chuck Schumer discovering federalism thing, but it just doesn’t seem like hypocrisy from politicians — no matter how big — is notable.

I thought putting ((( ))) around someone’s name meant the were knowledgeable in the LISP programming language.

The best political debate tool is fear. No one will disagree with you if they fear what will happen if they do—or at least they won’t disagree publicly.

I don’t care if you agree or disagree with me, just say something interesting and not predictable. The people who imagine themselves to be the intelligentsia are nothing but a dumb mob these days.

The DNC is suing all Americans for electing Trump. This will probably succeed. For one, it’s very easy to prove that Americans did elect Trump.
Also, it’s easy to show DNC was harmed by this as now everyone think they’re incompetent boobs who lost to Trump. It’s hurting donations. When asked for donations, donors are saying things like, “No.”
It’s possible this could lead to prison charges. All of America could go to jail for electing Trump. I guess Trump could pardon all of us, but he’s a very busy man.

I don’t care if all the older kids say, “Let’s nominate the most unlikeable woman in the country who is also under FBI investigation. It will be cool.” Don’t listen to them. It’s not cool.

My 2yo’s glasses make me want to do hipster baby memes.
“I’m listening to Laurie Berkner. You’ve probably never heard of her.”

I say with no exaggeration that you could literally teach a dog to be a mediocre Senator. Get it in a heavily tilted state and tell it how to vote, and it could hold the seat for 30 years if it could live that long.

Are we supposed to feel safe just because Kevin Williamson was fired from the Atlantic? He’s still out there, somewhere, plotting to lynch us all.

Trump has to be the dumbest, most obnoxious idiot I’ve ever seen except compared to most people commenting on politics.

You know what they say: The best defense against fascism are mobs of easily outraged idiots.

The way to shut Kevin Williamson down was not some nonsense yelling about him wanting to hang millions of people but instead to coherently explain how abortion is completely separate from murder. But how many went that route?
If views are so awful you think they need to be completely shut down, you should then be easily able to explain why they’re awful. If confronted with racism, the only tool in my arsenal isn’t incoherent screaming. I can actually explain why it’s bad.

When does Mars get a day?

It’s easy to get angry—and feel you have a right to be angry—when you perceive people as being unfair. I think of Jesus on the cross, though—and it’s hard to come up with a more unfair situation than that—but the attitude toward the people responsible wasn’t anger.
Everyone thinks their anger is righteous. And the political attitude these days seems to be the winner will be whomever can best weaponize their anger. But the future belongs to those who can give up their anger so they can best focus on the betterment of all.

It is hard to keep glasses on a 2yo. Plus, she’s kind of intimidating now that she looks like a little librarian.

It’s a brand new day! I can’t wait to find out what new thing idiotic thing people get worked up and outraged by today.

If dad jokes are problematic, then I will never not be a problem.

“Don’t you know that behaving this way will get you the disdain of people who already irrationally hate you?”

Anyone who even contemplated voting for Trump should apologize. Same thing for Hillary.

It must be a barrel of monkeys to be one of those people who gets screechy and outraged over a new thing ever day that most people wouldn’t give a second thought to.
It’s great that in the future it will be extremely easy to spot ignorant bigots: They’ll be the ones who are ever not frowning.

I think the big advantage the right have over the left right now is that extremely awful people are a bit more tolerable if they’re not also condescending.

With Roseanne, Kanye, and [third example], it’s like the left are losing everyone in pop culture… as far as I know or care.

There’s no reason to have a gun. Unless you need to shoot something. Then having a gun is absolutely required. If you’re in that sort of situation and don’t have a gun, ooh boy.

The CDC has issued an E. coli warning on liberal tears. If you have a mug of liberal tears, dispose of it down the drain and do not drink it.

Here is my jobs plan: Get all of Congress in one room to discuss how they can best help the economy. Lock the doors. Never let them out.

It would actually be kind of funny if we were like the UK and Trump could fine people for any joke he considered hate speech.
Well, it would be funny until I got fined.

Fining Twitter for bad jokes would actually be an easy way to solve the national debt. Stupid 1st Amendment getting in the way of all our brilliant plans!

So what happened to the nazi pug? Did they execute it, or is it still on the loose?

I never watched The Handmaid’s Tale because I don’t know what a handmaid is but it doesn’t sound very interesting so I don’t know why I’d want to watch a tale about one. If they had “The Cowboy Karate Master’s Tale”, that I’d watch.

You know how dumb kids are? When I was kid, I watched things like Scooby-Doo, Speedy Gonzales, and Inspector Gadget, and what never once crossed my mind was “What’s their origin stories?”

“We need new test subjects for our experiments on the speed force. What do we have?”
“We just got a shipment of mice from Mexico.”

We just accepted any premise no question as kids.
“A man has chipmunks as kids and they sing.”
“Seems reasonable.”
“There is a bunch of tiny blue people and a Jewish stereotype and his cat are after them for some reason.”
“That makes sense.”

I like how the GI Joe episode of Community pointed out that the narrator interrupting the GI Joe title song was the least necessary thing ever.
“Look, I think I’m over-explaining it: the bad guys are snakes and the good guys are Army people.”

I have to admit something that I suspect will be unpopular: I don’t understand the Tom Hardy love at all. I thought he gave an interesting performance in The Dark Knight Rises, but in everything else I’ve seen him in, he’s just kinda… there.
I remember reading reviews for Inception where people were breathlessly talking about how this one actor in it could be the next James Bond, and then I saw Inception and had no idea who they were talking about.
I’m not saying Tom Hardy is bad — he’s a perfectly cromulent actor. He just doesn’t stand out to me anymore than one of the lesser Chrises.
Also, judging by the Venom trailer, whatever presence he had goes out the window when he tries to do an American accent.
One last thing: I constantly get Tom Hardy’s name mixed up with Mark Strong’s. Am I the only one who does that?

I’m going to speak the truth, even if it’s unpopular. Well, not if it’s really really unpopular and will cause people not to like me. That truth I’ll keep bottled up. But all other truth is fair game.

It probably hurts the argument that universal health care is the most compassionate option when the NHS keeps executing kids in front of their parents.

With Alfie Evans, I see a repeat of Charlie Gard: The American right talking about almost nothing else and an almost creepy silence from the left. I still don’t know if in general the left thought what happened with Gard was a good or bad thing.
Just so strange one side finds something a very important human rights issue while the other doesn’t see it worth a comment — even though they often point to the NHS as a positive example.

I’m kinda uninterested in the whole Joy Reid thing because I didn’t think anyone took her seriously in the first place.

Finally rewatching The Last Jedi. Was actually really enjoying it and was thinking maybe it wasn’t as bad as I remembered… until the introduction of Holdo who is ridiculous in many different ways.
“I’ve dealt with plenty of flyboys like you before!” But apparently learned nothing from those interactions since how she treats Poe seems to have no purpose except to make things worse.
And the introduction of Holdo is immediately followed by the introduction of Rose. So this is where things fall apart.

How to make The Last Jedi better and at least a half hour shorter:
“On second thought, let’s not go to the casino planet. ‘Tis a silly place.”

Is it sexism that I just can’t for the life of me take the purple-haired lady in a cocktail dress seriously as a military leader?

The only characters improved in this are Rey and Kylo. Rey is no longer a Mary Sue and Kylo becomes even more complex and interesting.

Finn learning maybe both sides are bad is a potentially interesting plot thread that goes nowhere.
Poor Finn. He was my favorite new character from Episode VII and I was excited to see where his character arc would go, but the answer was nowhere.

Poe must be a pretty good leader to so easily get a mutiny together against an apparently respected admiral.

I’m all for getting rid of Holdo, but can’t a droid or an AI pilot the cruiser?

The betrayal of Snoke is so overly telegraphed it plays as comedy.
Yes, brutally murdering plot threads is unexpected, but it does not a great story make.

A lot of the Rey/Kylo stuff is really good, though. This would measure up with the original trilogy if the rest was that compelling.

Hey, have you ever thought what would happen if one ship hyperspaced into another?”
“No. No one has ever thought that.”

Man, this movie is long. It feels like the movie is about over when Holdo does her deus ex machina maneuver, but there’s a whole other giant set piece left.

Man, the good guys are constantly killed in this. There has to be like only 5 members of the resistance left alive by the end of this.

I like Finn, but I’d have rather him died than be subjected to Rose’s love speech. Holdo was winning the “worst new character” contest until Rose crashed ahead there.

Why did the critics love this so much? Were they all hepped up on goofballs?

No snark on Luke confronting the First Order. That part is effective.

Ooh. Continuity error. Kylo went from Zatoichi style in close to holding his saber normal in wide to Zatoichi style again in close.
Garbage movie.

The ending is so bad for the middle part of a trilogy. There is no drama.
“Will the Resistance be able to defeat the First Order now that it’s just run by the two young dinguses Hux and Kylo?”
Yeah. Probably. Hard to imagine they wouldn’t.

Overall, The Last Jedi is a two and half hour movie with one good hour and an hour and a half of dumb.
The silver lining is it was bad partly because it took risks, and if Disney is willing to take risks with its properties, maybe it can make something great instead of just good and forgettable.
And my recommendation to JJ Abram is he get revenge against Rian Johnson for stomping all over his plot threads by killing off Rose in the opening crawl of Episode IX.
Oh, and have Captain Phasma in Episode IX for only ten seconds—all of which are featured in the trailer. Might as well make a running gag of it.