“Try Googling ‘boot stamping on a human face forever‘. That face will be Frank J. Fleming’s. NOBODY MESSES WITH GOOGLE!”

In a move of near-Disneyesque cruelty and disregard for public opinion, Google announced that it will be suing breakout sensation fantasy novelist Frank J. Fleming for copyright infringement. Google is asking for an astounding $1 billion in punitive damages, claiming that the title of Fleming’s new book, “Sidequest: In Realms Ungoogled,” amounts to an illegal usage of the company’s name.

Google’s lead attorney for the action, Samuel Dewey of the legendary law firm of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe – defended his company’s shotgunning of a legal mosquito, pointing out that “Google has spent 20 years of hard work and countless billions of dollars to become synonymous with searching the internet. We are not about to let anyone – regardless of obscurity or financial insubstantiality – dilute or damage our brand by treating our corporate identity as though it were somehow synonymous with searching the internet.”

“Additionally, we are also considering suing him for plagiarism,” Dewey added, “as we can prove that parts of his book are – word for word – copied from a Google search of “Sidequest: In Realms Ungoogled quotes.”

Another attorney-beleaguered fantasy novelist, Basil Basilton – author of “The Firebreathing Dragon Meets the Asbestos Kleenex” – has started a legal defense fund for Mr. Fleming. “I know what it’s like to have a corporate leviathan try to beat you up and take your lunch money over a copyright claim,” Basilton said. “Lucky for me a guy from Puffs thought my book was hilarious and covered my lawyers’ fees. We eventually won the case, although sometimes I think I should’ve avoided all this and just called my hero ‘the Fireproof Facial Tissue.'”

“Anyway,” Basilton continued, “the power of a good lawyer can not be underestimated. If we raise enough money, we’d like to be able to hire whoever it is that’s keeping Hillary Clinton out of jail. That guy’s amazing!”