Straight Line of the Day: What Do You Call a Conservative That Everyone on the Left Considers a Conservative But No One on the Right Does?

[Inspired by Frank J. (High Praise!)]

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

What do you call a conservative that everyone on the left considers a conservative but no one on the right does?

29 Comments

  1. Seinfeld Conservatives:

    A show. About nothing.

    .

    Montoya Conservatives:

    They keep using that word. I do not think it means what they think it means.

    .

    Bond Conservatives:

    When reading the Constitution, they are shaken, not stirred.

    .

    Bonaservatives:

    I understand. You found paradise in America, you had a good trade, you made a good living. The police protected you and there were courts of law. You didn’t need a friend like us. But, now you come to us and you say: “Conservatives, give me justice.” But you don’t ask with respect. You don’t offer friendship.

    .

    Meet-The-Parents Conservatives:

    See, if I can’t trust you, then I have no choice but to put you right back outside the circle of trust. And once you’re out, you’re out. There’s no coming back.

    .

    Ocean’s-Eleven Conservatives:

    You’re either in or you’re out. Right now.

    You tossers! You had one job to do!

    You look down, they know you’re lying and up, they know you don’t know the truth. Don’t use seven words when four will do. Don’t shift your weight, look always at your mark but don’t stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don’t make him laugh. He’s got to like you then forget you the moment you’ve left his side. And for God’s sake, whatever you do, don’t, under any circumstances…

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