67 Comments

  1. Scrape the bottom, vote for Rodham!
    Grab your ankles, here comes Cankles!
    I sell out to Saudis, Bill buries the bodies!
    Both a bottle in front of me and a frontal lobotomy!
    Very short sighted, but still not indicted!
    If I like your bribe, I can keep your bribe!

  2. …Alive And…well, I’m alive!

    …Hey, even Pelosi remembers my name, that’s got to mean something.

    …I’ll be the first write-in female president money and dirty politics can buy.

    …Vote for me or I will kill this sitting president (Demand made to hostage negotiation team).

  3. They think I’ve lost it…ahh, but the strawberries that’s… that’s where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with… geometric logic… that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist, and I’d have produced that key if they hadn’t of pulled the Caine out of action. I, I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officers…

  4. …Barely inadequate at so many things my huge failures will hardly be noticed.

    …You exist to amuse me but with a face like this I’ve got nothing to laugh about.

    …Making Stalin look like a pussycat

    I’ll be Hitler, blitzkrieging in a pussyhat

    Rose Garden summit satanic chats

    But still mild mannered, for a Democrat

    …I might be drunk but I’m a mean drunk.

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