“The deadliest weapon in the world is a mower and its rifle. It is your tiller instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to survive in combat. Your scythe is only a tool. It is a hard heart that tills. If your tiller instincts are not clean and strong, you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not till. You will become dead mowers. And then you will be in a world of s*it, because mowers are not allowed to die without permission! Do you maggots understand?”
Remember when that guy drove through a BLM roadblock on one? That was awesome!
Okay, Mr Gopher, I guess fun and games are pretty much over.
“What’s that, a Husqvarmint?”
[Mel Gibson:] “Eenie, meenie, miney — Hey, mow!”
Now that’s a guardin’ implement.
The Elmer FUD*
(*Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt)
The ultimate “Your A** is Grass and I’m the mower” mower.
“Home, home on the range . . . “
“Say hello to my lettuce’s friend”
“There’s a Bright Golden Haze on the Ma Deuce . . . “
Possibly fake. No cup holder.
“The deadliest weapon in the world is a mower and its rifle. It is your tiller instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to survive in combat. Your scythe is only a tool. It is a hard heart that tills. If your tiller instincts are not clean and strong, you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not till. You will become dead mowers. And then you will be in a world of s*it, because mowers are not allowed to die without permission! Do you maggots understand?”
— Granary Sergeant Hartman
— photo courtesy Chuck Norris Manscaping
♫
“When I was a little bitty baby
My mama done park me in the middle
Of them old Gatlin fields back home . . ”
♫
Farmer Schwarzenegger [flipping safety off]:
“Deliver us from weevil!”
Ideal for jihsodis.
You covered em all except LAWn mowers.
[ANNOUNCER:] Another fine Acme product! Demand Acme for all your pest control needs!
Oh oh! This just may be the end for the road runner!
Meep! Meep!