3 Comments

  1. SUSAN: What’s the premise?

    JERRY: Well, as I was saying, I would play myself, and, as a comedian, living in New York, I have a friend, a neighbor, and an ex-girlfriend, which is all true.

    GEORGE: Yeah, but everything you do is a crime. You see, it’s just like life. You know, you eat, you go shopping, you read. You eat, you read, You go shopping. Everything is regulated.

    RUSSELL: You read? You read and that’s a crime?

    JERRY: Well, I don’t know about the reading.. We didn’t discuss the reading.

    RUSSELL: All right, tell me, tell me about the inalienable rights. What kind of inalienable rights?

    GEORGE: Oh, no. No rights.

    RUSSELL: No rights? So, what is it?

    GEORGE: (Showing an example) What’d you do today?

    RUSSELL: I got up and came to work.

    GEORGE: There’s a crime. That’s a crime.

    RUSSELL: (Confused) How is that a crime?

    JERRY: Well, uh, maybe something happens on the way to work.

    GEORGE: No, no, no. Nothing happens.

    JERRY: Well, something happens.

    RUSSELL: Well, why am I voting for it?

    GEORGE: Because it’s the law.

    RUSSELL: (Threatening) Not yet.

    GEORGE: Okay, uh, look, if you want to just keep on doing the same old thing, then maybe this idea is not for you. I, for one, am not going to compromise my progressive principles. And I’ll tell you something else, this is the Democrat platform, and we’re not going to change it. (To Jerry) Right?

    (A moment passes)

    JERRY: (To Russell) How about this: I manage a circus . .

  2. This is a good one. I’m going to steal it and post it on facebook as soon as they let me out of jail. I’ve never been on Twitter because I have this irrational fear of being called a Twit.

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