When the Senate slips into a closed session some super special secret rules apply. Here are just a few of them.
- Standing Senate Rule .20 (the Teddy Kennedy Rule) – Closed session – Open Bar!
- First Rule of Closed Session: Nobody talks about closed session!
- Rule 2 – What happens in closed session STAYS in closed session.
- Rule 3.14 – Everybody gets free pie, all you can eat. Mmmm pie.
- Rule 5 – Senators must use secret handshake and refer to each other by their self-assigned top secret code names. Harry Reid’s is “H.R. Uber Smooth.”
- Rule 32 – Casual Dress AKA Clothing optional.
There are, as indicated by the gaps, other super secret Senate rules but they are so secret even I don’t even know them. Or do I?
Unfortunately since you now know some of the secret rules, I must kill you all now. I’m sorry, really.
Update: It’s been pointed out that Rule 32 makes rule 2 a lot more interesting. My response to that is “What about all the pie and open bar? Don’t they juice things up too?”
Rules are made to be broken.
Most of these seem to involve Ted Kennedy in soooo many ways. Are they still in effect now that he has gone to his just reward?
Rule #34 of closed-door congressional hearings:
If it exists, it’s grounds for impeachment.
Rule #34a corollary of closed-door congressional hearings:
if it doesn’t exist it’s STILL grounds for impeachment.
Note:
If you don’t know what you’re doing I encourage you to NOT look up the origins of “rule 34”
I think rule #6 is NO POOFTAHS!