I’d never heard of this 19th-Century (born 1833) lecturer, lawyer, teacher, politician, and Union colonel (who served at Shiloh), until I read an article on him.

I claim that the Democratic party embraces within its filthy arms the worst elements in American society. I claim that every enemy that this Government has had for twenty years has been and is a Democrat . . . every State that has seceded from this Union was a Democratic State . . . The man that shot Lincoln was a Democrat. And every man that was glad of it was a Democrat.

— Robert Ingersoll, 1876

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I admit that the Republican party is not altogether good. [Laughter.] I admit, and you will wonder at my candor, that the Democratic party is not altogether bad. [Renewed laughter.] I admit that the Democratic party in its great and splendid effort to do wrong has sometimes by mistake done right. [Laughter and applause.]

— Speech, 1880

Undated quotes, from the same article:

In wars between great nations, the gods still interfere; but in prize fights, the best man with an honest referee, is almost sure to win.

Let me tell you . . . it is far more important to build a home than to erect a church. The holiest temple beneath the stars is a home that love has built. And the holiest altar in all the wide world is the fireside . . .

Defending himself against a charge of blasphemy:

To enslave the minds of men, padlocks upon their lips — that is blasphemy.

When asked about advocates of the new morality and free love:

Let them spend their time in examining each other’s sexual organs and in letting ours alone.

On politics:

. . . a low dirty scramble, through misrepresentation, slander, falsehood, and filth, and success brings nothing but annoyance & fear of defeat next time.

An anecdote about his failed bid to run for governor as a Republican:

A friend visiting Ingersoll’s office saw a copy of Thomas Paine’s The Age of Reason, a book often denounced by nineteenth-century churchmen. “How much did this cost you?” the friend asked him. “The governorship of Illinois.”

And finally:

If there is no other life, we should make the best of this. If there is another life, we should still make the best of this.