Archive of entries posted on 29th January 2020

Wednesday Night Open Thread

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Some artists only have one really big hit. Bobby Hebb was born in Nashville and was actually a member of Roy Acuff’s backing band and played on the Grand Ole Opry stage in that capacity. He learned guitar from Chet Atkins. And he wrote his biggest hit, “Sunny.”

He performed the song at Candlestick Park on August 29th, 1966. The band that had just finished playing their own set stayed on and served as his backing band for the song. That band? The Beatles.

Bobby Hebb had an interesting career.

[The YouTube]

What’s been on your mind? Got something you’d like to share? A topic to discuss? It’s Wednesday Night Open Thread.

Who wants to start?

IMAO Time Machine: Fun Facts About the 50 States: North Carolina

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This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, we’ll be singing our way through the cotton harvest as we visit North Carolina. So let’s get started…

North Carolina state flag
The state flag of North Carolina is a slight modification of the original “smiley face with bushy monobrow” design.
  • North Carolina became the 12th state on November, 21st, 1789. Then, as now, it was the nation’s leading producer of tobacco products and is the only state in the US whose constitution includes a Surgeon General’s warning.
  • The state song of North Carolina is a wet, hacking cough.
  • Although Carolina is currently considered a woman’s name, North Carolina was actually named for England’s King Charles I, since the Latin word “Carolus” means both “Charles” and “mincing poofter girlie-man.”
  • In 1903, the Wright Brothers had their first successful airplane flight near Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. Although early flights barely left the ground, they were quite popular among amorous couples seeking to join the “10-foot-high club.”
  • In the early 1700’s Beaufort Town, North Carolina was a notorious haven for pirates – cruel, dim-witted men with foul mouths and poor personal hygiene who wouldn’t hesitate to use violence to get their way. Rather like hippies, except with bigger boats.
  • The famous lighthouse at Cape Hatteras, North Carolina had to be moved due to erosion problems, due in large part to endless streams of tourists spitting over the rail of the observation deck.
  • The state bird of North Carolina is the Cardinal, which I assume was chosen for its red neck.
  • The Andy Griffith show was set in the fictional town of Mayberry, North Carolina. It was based on an actual city, but to appease the censors, they changed Otis’ role to town drunk instead of his real job as Aunt Bea’s pimp.
  • North Carolina’s state vegetable is the Sweet Potato, which was chosen by the state’s majority population of Sweet Irish.
  • Harker Island, North Carolina, is home to the annual Core Sound Duck Decoy Festival which boasts more fake but accurate items than a CBS news broadcast.
  • The WWII battleship North Carolina was preserved as a museum in 1963 as a reminder to the Japs that they should stick to tending goldfish.
  • The first English Colony in America was at Roanoke Island, North Carolina. The entire population vanished without a trace in 1590, which is not as mysterious as it sounds, since the colony consisted entirely of deadbeat dads.
  • The state motto of North Carolina is “Esse quam videri,” which is Latin for “arrogant basketball snobs.”
  • At nearly 6700 feet, North Carolina’s Mount Mitchell is the highest peak east of the Mississippi and is rumored to be the hiding place of the notorious terrorist Bubba bin Laden.
  • Krispy Kreme Donuts was started in 1937 in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. The donuts are staggeringly popular throughout the US, despite the fact that their name is an obvious euphemism for “stale filling.”
  • The Venus Flytrap is a carnivorous plant which is native to North Carolina. It will eat dead flies, spoiled hamburger, and most other things commonly found in the kitchen at McDonald’s.
  • The first miniature golf course was built in Fayetteville, North Carolina, and was originally invented to appeal to tourists who hate exercise, but really enjoy frustrated cursing.
  • Babe Ruth hit the first of his record 714 home runs while playing in Fayetteville, North Carolina on March 7, 1914. He also hit his first peanut vendor in the process – his record for that (179) remains unbroken to this day.
  • The Biltmore Estate in Asheville, North Carolina is America’s largest home. Designed by architect Mike Brady, it contains 255 rooms and a single, shared, upstairs bathroom with no toilet.
  • The first state-owned art museum is located in Raleigh, North Carolina. All modern art exhibits there are limited by law to 1.6 gallons per flush.
  • North Carolina’s Grandfather Mountain is designated by the UN as an “International Biosphere Reserve,” which is just a polite way of saying “a place for the French to hide in case they get frightened by a loud noise or something.”
  • The Mile-High Swinging Bridge near Linville, North Carolina, is 5305 feet above sea level. It wasn’t originally designed to swing, but that’s Union labor for ya.
  • Pepsi was invented in New Bern, North Carolina in 1898. The secret ingredient in the beverage is a closely-guarded secret, but here’s a hint: the beverage was originally called “Peesi.”
  • The town of Wendell, North Carolina, was named for Oliver Wendell Holmes, or possibly for that pale, sickly kid on the Simpsons.
  • Golfing legend Arnold Palmer started his career playing on the championship golf team of Wake Forest University. He’s credited with inventing the “casually kick the ball closer to the hole maneuver” now popularly known as “Palmering.”
  • Born in Fayetteville, North Carolina, in 1822 Hiram Rhodes Revels became the first black member of the US Congress – inexplicably, without Jesse Jackson’s help.
  • 17th President Andrew Johnson started out as a tailor’s apprentice in Raleigh, North Carolina. He became the first President in American history to be impeached, but was acquitted in his Senate trial, since his crimes DID include lying about diddling an intern.
  • North Carolina leads the nation in furniture production, and is famous for its leather sofas made from the skins of unlucky NASCAR drivers.
  • North Carolina was the first state in the US to establish a state symphony orchestra, which consisted of a jug, a washboard, and a washtub bass.
  • In 1987, North Carolina declared milk to be the official state beverage when the clerk typing up the bill inadvertently misspelled “moonshine.”
  • Born in Charlotte, North Carolina, televangelist Billy Graham – like Osama bin Laden – used the power of modern media to spread his religious message. Fortunately, his followers usually became naggy church ladies instead of suicide bombers.

That wraps up the North Carolina edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll be mortified to discover that the people in Fargo really DO sound like those people in the movie, as we visit North Dakota.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go join the “10-foot-high club.”

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

Random Thoughts: Winchester’s First Birthday

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I never played the first one (I’ve always been a Nintendo and PC gamer and it never came out for PC), but Red Dead Redemption 2 might make my list of all time favorite games.
The open world gameplay was great, but I was really pulled in by the writing and acting. I was surprised that I didn’t recognize a single actor’s name; I guess there’s number of good voice work actors out there.
For some reason, RDR2 on PC got absolute creamed in the user score on Metacritic. It seems to be from launch day bugs. I didn’t run into a single problem with it (after I updated my graphics card drivers on launch day).
I happened to get a new laptop for work just in the time for RDR2 that had a RTX 2060 on it. Was able to run it on ultra settings at 60 fps at 1080p resolution. Beautiful game.
Too much to do to play a game that engrossing that often. I have the new Star Wars game just sitting there, but I think I’ll have to wait a couple months before I start to have any time for it.

People, I’m an officially licensed satirist. I had to take government certified courses to make sure that my satire doesn’t accidentally become fake news. Please leave the satire to professionals like me.

It’s alarming to hear people say they want socialism, but often you find out they just want a few more welfare programs. It’s a bit like people going around saying they want Nazism but then you find out they just mean they want military officers to wear snappier uniforms.

Did we ever get an explanation of why we’ve even heard of Great Thunberg?
“So, you wont listen to random scientists, but I bet you’ll listen to those same arguments from a privileged foreign girl!”
“Wha… why would you think that?”
“Isn’t she the greatest?”
“Are you high?”

Is there any evidence Greta Thunberg has convinced anyone who didn’t already agree with her?

I moved my Fun Day Clock 10 seconds closer to midnight. We’re all really close to having a super fun day!

I’m three episodes into the show Legion. Now there is a show you need to pay close attention to or you’ll be completely lost.
I used to surf the web while watching TV, but I also used to watch a lot of junky shows. I have time for maybe one show a week night and there is so much out there I stick now only to shows worth paying full attention to.
BTW, I picked Legion because it’s has the same showrunner as Fargo. I decided I need to pay more attention to showrunners. For instance, I really like Justified so I guess I should eventually check out Sneaky Pete.

What would be funny is if they tried to make the Doomsday Clock more accurate by making an Atomic Doomsday Clock and then it exploded and killed everyone.
“Oh no! We changed the results by trying to measure them!”

MY BRAIN: “Impoochment!”
ME: “Huh?”
MY BRAIN: “It’s like impeachment, but for a dog.”
ME: “Eh… that’s almost something. But who would be ‘impooched’?”
MY BRAIN: “The President’s dog.”
ME: “He doesn’t have one.”
MY BRAIN: “Impoochment!”
ME: “Leave me alone.”

Home ownership is the most accessible way for the average American to become a crony.

Warren’s loan forgiveness plan is an unserious proposal from an unserious person. If you’re not as angry at her as that one father, it’s because either
A. You’re willfully being an idiot
B. You don’t think she serious about it

I mean, the problem are skyrocketing college costs and her solution is to start forgiving loans and remove any incentive to worry about costs? That makes Trump wall seem like Founding Father level well-thought-out in comparison.
And don’t get me started on Bernie’s national rent control. I don’t know how anyone can pretend he’s a serious person after that. The average monkey has better economic sense than that.
Of course, we demonstrated the Republic can survive an unserious President. We just have to make sure things are set up so they’re impotent to enact their stupid stupid plans.

I see a lot of people angry at Kathleen Kennedy for what’s happened with the Obi Wan show, but did she get any credit for The Mandalorian? Or is that like Mr. Burns taking credit for Daryl Strawberry hitting a home run?
“I told him to do that!”

Are the far left saying Joe Rogan is more bigoted, hateful, and close-minded than they are? Because that sounds like hyperbole.

college costs skyrocket for years way past inflation and any other industry
“Know what’s the problem: We have to pay these big loans!”
The whole college debate makes me feel like I’m in crazytown.

This whole student loan thing is like people are getting hit over and over in the face with a bat and their main complaint is bandages cost so much.

Winchester is one years old now! Here’s a rare picture where his three siblings aren’t all over him. He is the sweetest little guy and a constant blessing.

The fact that he has Down Syndrome hasn’t seemed like too much of a factor his first year other than he’s a bit small and we have therapy visits (all that early development is very complicated when you try to break it down like that). We’re ready for the adventure ahead, though.
One of the things I’ve found from fatherhood is the constant fear of failing your kids. They all have their unique needs, and you want to be up to whatever challenge they can give you. Each day is a lot of praying. I’ve had to grow more than I could imagine.
But, man, four kids. It’s a nice big family. Each day I feel so wealthy.

I’ll never forget SarahK’s reaction when she was told Winchester has DS right after he was born.
“I have some news: We believe he has Down Syndrome.”
“Okay. Can I see him?”
“I want to make sure you heard me; I just dropped a bomb on you.”
“Yeah, I gotcha. Can I see him?”
With our 3rd child, the genetic test was positive for trisomy 13. With that, she most likely wouldn’t live a year. Would have loved a trisomy 21 diagnosis instead. That’s the worst thing in my life I dealt with. Nothing you can do but wait and pray and hope you’re strong enough.
It ended up being a false positive, though. So with our fourth, we didn’t get the genetic test. Better to just not stress about and what will be will be. And so while Win having DS was a surprise (no indications in ultrasound), it didn’t feel completely out of left field.
Anyway, we’ve had some scary time and some stressful times, but we don’t go forward alone and all these blessings are certainly worth that price.

Of all the people in the world to give welfare to, why are we settling on people with high-end college degrees?

The goal is to treat all human life as precious in and of itself. The worst ideas on the both the right and left have one thing in common: They treat certain lives as problems to be managed.

Is Jennifer Rubin doing a bit? That’s the only way I can comprehend her. I mean, I can understand the extreme right and the extreme left who have lost their minds, but whatever she is baffles me.

I don’t know much about Joe Rogan, but I haven’t seen anyone condemn him as a nazi or whatnot who didn’t come off as way more irrational and hateful.

I’m getting a headache just imagining watching Birds of Prey.
“This looks like complete and utter garb… Ooh. Ewan McGregor.”

We had Winchester’s birthday party on Saturday.

The theme was “Baby Shark” because you need a theme but he isn’t really into anything yet. SarahK got a bit stressed on what to get Win, but he’s also not very materialistic yet. He just likes attention.

We found out he does not like getting frosting on his fingers.

He also does not like having a mustache. Who knew?

By the end of the day, he was quite tuckered out. Here’s to many more years for him.

MY BRAIN: “Hitler Sonic Youth!”
ME: “Come on.”
MY BRAIN: “It’s a combination Hitler Youth and—“
ME: “I get it, but what am I supposed to do with that? And what’s it with you and Hitler?”
MY BRAIN: “Hitler is funny.”
ME: “He really isn’t.”

ME: “Do you even know who the Sonic Youth are?”
MY BRAIN: “I think they’re a band from the 90s.”
ME: “You’re so useless.”

I’m thinking of being a political grifter. Is there any complex issue you’d like to be made extra angry about? I’ll do so for a moderate fee.

I don’t get taxpayer funding for NPR. When Firefly got canceled, the government didn’t swoop in with funding. And nothing on NPR is as good as Firefly.

“I have one question about these mutant ninja turtles you’re pitching: How old are they?”

Rico will return… soon.

The new cover for Superego is by Allison Barrows and Romas Kukalis (http://midsizemedia.com). The cover for the sequel is currently being painted.

If I was president and got impeached, I’d be like, “You can’t impeach me! I quit!” but before I’d quit, I’d mess up the WH direct deposit so I still got paid.
That’s right, I’d still get paid to be president but not even have to do the work. Suckers!

The best pitch I’ve heard for Bernie Sanders is that he’s authentically as dumb as a post. Authenticity in politicians is so rare these days and I value it highly.

Man, I really don’t care who wins in 2020. I think the least interesting scenario would be Biden wins the primary and then loses the general since there aren’t a bunch of Biden stans that will have an entertaining breakdown.

My wife is a great cook, but I have to be careful with her. I once tried to give her some constructive criticism on the mashed potatoes she made, and she didn’t make me mashed potatoes again for ten years.

I found that CNN clip kind of endearing because they’re now like “No one is even watching us; we can do whatever.”

Without looking it up, my assumption is that flying in a helicopter is statistically safer than driving in a car.

Was reading the Old Testament to my kids and I came to a section that threw a bunch of names and places that meant absolutely nothing to me, and my thought was “This is almost as bad as The Silmarillion.”
The passage was Judges 4:11, BTW. It was cute, because while I was reading the chapter, my 4yo came over to look at the Bible because she wanted to see a picture of Deborah. Maybe she can obsess on her instead of Rey.
Rey is fine, though. We’re planning a Disney World trip later this year and will give the kids a choice on the things that cost extra. When asked to choose between a princess makeover or build a lightsaber, she didn’t even have to think about it. “I want a lightsaber like Rey!”

It doesn’t matter how bad Trump is if the other side makes it clear they despise half the country and wants bad things to happen to them.

If Hollywood types want to demonstrate how much they believe in saving the planet, they should do the entire Academy Awards show over Skype.

I learned not to make political predictions after the 2016 presidential election, but I’ll make one for 2020: If Trump wins reelection, regardless of what the margin is he’ll claim it’s the “biggest landslide ever.”

The risk with Bernie is he’ll be McGovern 2.0 and give Trump a Nixon-esque landslide victory… except that if it’s found out in Trump’s second term he covered up a burglary, we’d all kind of shrug and go “Sounds like Trump.”

I lived through a booming economy in the 80s in my early childhood and another in the 90s just before I entered the workforce. This is the first one during my adult life. It’s not bad.

My mom got me a weighted blanket for Christmas but I’m really really strong so it just feels like a normal blanket.

The Trouble With Peace

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Give peace a chanceI saw something on the news about President Trump’s Mideast peace plan. Not much, but a little bit.

The news has been mostly a dead basketball player and the Democrats’ attempt to remove Trump from office.

And that’s the trouble with peace. Nobody really cares about it. Well, nobody in the news cares. Peace means people not killing each other. Peace isn’t good for selling ads, or posting clickbait articles, especially when it risks throwing a positive light on a Republican.

Not all of the countries in the area are in favor of Trump’s plan. Jordan and Turkey don’t like it, but Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and UAE all are in favor. But none of that matters if you can’t use the news to sell fear, or otherwise cast Republicans in a bad light.

The Republicans do enough on their own to make themselves look bad. They don’t need the “media” helping.

Whatever happened to “give peace a chance?” For some people, it’s a 50-year-old song played on old people radio, and nothing more. Other than royalties for Yoko Ono, there’s no money in it.