The Stupid . . . Well, At Least It Burns

From The Darwin Awards’ Tree Category:

Trees Might Be “Aware” of Their Size
University of Helsinki via Phys.org / Jan. 30, 2020

Trees are known for their great, but not unlimited, trunk height and diameter. They have evolved to develop a heavy above-ground biomass, but this integral feature poses a challenge to the trunk’s stability.

“Even though the idea of plants sensing their own weight and thickening their stem accordingly sounds intuitive, our study is the first one to address this question in trees,” says Juan Alonso-Serra from the Faculty of Biological and Environmental Sciences, University of Helsinki.

One approach to understand how this weight-sensing mechanism works is by comparing normal plants with plants lacking this ability. The researchers took advantage of a naturally occurring birch mutant named elimäki. This exceptional tree grows upright for three months, after which its stem suddenly bends at the very base, and the whole tree collapses.

The researchers showed that, unlike normal trees, elimäki trees fail to properly adjust their width to their increasing weight, which makes them less stable.

What do you know? A living, breathing metaphor for government social programs.


Auugh! Please, Please Make It Stop!

Could the Next Willy Wonka Be a Woman? Warner Bros Are “Considering Casting Female Actress as the Titular Chocolatier in Upcoming Prequel”
UK Daily Mail | January 31, 2020

Willy Wonka could reportedly return to screens as a woman in a new prequel film.

Bosses at Warner Bros. are allegedly considering taking on a female actress to play the role of the iconic chocolatier.

First in with the “Willy Woke-a” comment.


Who can sing a sad song the saddest?

Continuing the musical theme I was thinking about sad songs because sad songs say so much. [So turn them on, turn ’em on…] Are my platforms properly sequined? (Ok enough with Elton John already. The point and question I was getting to was who do you think can sing a sad the saddest? I always found that Emmylou Harris could really bring a tear to my eye when she sings about loss and regret. For example there is this cover of a Bruce Springsteen song that I find particularly evocative in a way that the Boss only hints at.

https://youtu.be/PNt0qk-EkDM

Red Dirt Girl had a few, here are two.

Bang the Drum Slowly

Red Dirt Girl

 

So, who is better? Let us know who can make you find it is getting dusty in here.

The Worst

Following the news — not too closely, because I don’t want to catch whatever it is they got — I’m seeing arguments over how the Senate is conducting the impeachment trials.

It seems like they’re rigging the thing to acquit Trump. Kinda like the Democrats did to impeach Trump.

So, which is the worst?

That’s easy. Pineapple on pizza. Discuss.