I saw this picture of Qassem Soleimani. The caption accompanying simply credited Al Jazeera. This image deserves a better caption than that. So there’s your task: caption this picture of the former (as of last night) leader of Iran’s Revolutionary Guards.
The one with the most likes wins!
Wish with one hand and catch a drone missile with the other, and see which one fills up first.
Can you lend me a hand? BOOM. That one will do.
What the….that came out of MY nose??!!?
Your brains?
I am referring to Soleimani if that wasn’t clear.
Heyyyyyyy macarena!
Soleimani finalizes his switch to voting in the Democrat primaries.
“Does anyone else hear a loud whining sound?”
So I gave someone a “Tofu” on IMAO, what’s the worse that could happen?
I see that someone (not me) gave you a “Tofu” for that. They best watch out!
We will find him/her/whatever and he/her/whatever will see justice.
Can you hurry? I don’t have much time.
“There’s no place like Hell, there’s no place like Hell, there’s no place like Hell.”
The New Year is going to be a blast.
Soleimani latest to drop out of the 2020 Democrat primary field.
Soleimani did not kill himself.
Come Mr. Soleimani
Tally your Bananas
Drones they come
and it’s time to get blown.
Allah we are thankful for the gifts we are about to receive.
If I lie may the Great Satan take my hands!
And everything else it appears.
Shoulda been “everything but my hands” I guess.
I’ve got blown hole world, in my hands.
I got blew to pee, brother, in my hands.
Glinda the Good Witch speaking to Soleimani: You have no power here! Begone, before somebody drops a house (or a drone fired missile) on you, too!!
OK, I’ve got it, now where’s the fan.
So the I tell Trump that I’ve got you by the… well, one ball anyway.
Hmmmm, maybe I should have taken that left turn at Al’ baiaqerqia.
Be excellent to each other.
“I’ve got hand.”
-George Costanza; (Seinfeld)
Soleimani no longer can be master of his own domain.
And his Uncle Leo has no eyebrows, because he opened the package meant for him.
Dos Equis presents The Most Interred Resting Man in the World
Dos Equis presents The Most Disintegrating Man in the World
“Stay bloodthirsty, my friends.”
George Clooney in his moving one-man tribute to Qassem Soleimani, “Oh Sh**S!!1!!!11! Eleven!”
George Clooney in his moving one-man tribute to Qassem Soleimani, “Oh, Body, Where Art Thou?”
“I promise you, America will do nothing about the embassy attack. If I am wrong, may Allah strike me dead.”
“Huh. All these fortune cookies read the same. Must not be my lucky day!”
“You will have pleasant flight but landing may be rough.”
Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit hiding.
He also picked the wrong day to try and kill more Americans.
“Wait; let me read this can now that we’ve opened it. ‘Whoopaass’? What kind of infidel ingredient is that?’
I’d give this comment 10 thumbs-up if I could – I laughed until I cried!!
“What the . . . ? My lifelines on both palms end suddenly with a mole.”
And I’ve got two thumbs on my right hand!
My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention!
“Ah, there’s my froggie!”
Blown to smithereens I suspect.
Qassem Soleimani: Soleimani only pawn… in game of life.
Caption: “Soleimani mimes the hilarious scene where he opens a candygram from Trump.”
Soleimani liked candy!
“The imam said it’s a Qu’aran that only safe people can see. Isn’t it beautiful?”
Coming soon… the new Apple Burka.
“… and the seconds of thy living shall be three. Four seconds shalt thou not live, nor two seconds, excepting thou then go on to three. Five is right out.”
Qassem Soleimani: We will now read from Matthew, Mark, Luke…
[Hellfire missile blows his vehicle to bits]
Qassem Soleimani:: … and DUCK.
Ayatollah Khamenei: Well, Qassem don’t just stand there looking stupid, grasping your hands in pain.
Qassem Soleimani: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
(Reading): “Soleimani Wanted Dead or Alive?” Why are the words “or Alive” crossed out?
I’ve got Obama’s balls right here if you look real close.
♫♫
Soleimani
Well, you came to your grave, without taking
And we’d do it again, Soleimani . . .
♫ ♫ ♫
— Berry’s Man is low
“Now what kind of stupid gift is this from the Americans? It looks like the world’s smallest violin!”
“FrankJ’s hilarious new novel on microfilm? This I’ve got to read!”
“Useless, useless.”
Damn! Had to Google it, because I knew it referred to something, but just could not put my finger on it. (Unlike, say, a derringer.)
I want an Obscury.
mmmm. It’s earned.. But I don’t know if anyone but Harvey had the key to the cabinet.
Sigh.
Well, as I’ve said, all High Praise! belongs to him.
But maybe we can resurrect the Obscurys somehow.
If you want something done right . . .
We need to make some rules on awarding these.
Rules? IMAO got rules? When did that start?
So, of course…
“What hands are here? Ha! they pluck out mine eyes.
Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood
Clean from my hand? No, this my hand will rather
The multitudinous seas incarnadine,
Making the green one red.”
“Out, damned spot! Out, I say!—One, two; why, then ‘tis time to do’t.
— Hell is murky!
… What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account?
— Yet who would have thought the old man to have so much blood in him?
… all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand.”
[what’s left of it.]
Now put your right hand in
get your hand blown off
Right foot goes
And you’re shaken all about
And then you’re blown to holy smokey
with pieces all around
That’s what it’s all about, hey.
https://twitter.com/Qasam_Soleimani/status/1213138300128694275
Soleimani gives a review of Hell.
So that’s what my testicles look like outside of my scrotum.