Every five minutes, the properties, beginning with Boardwalk on down in price turn into Mediterranean Avenue. At the fifteen and thirty minute marks, the utilities are eliminated. Only the Short Line RR is activated, but only for two minutes every 30 minutes. Only $1 bills are issued.
In the new Biden Administration version of the game “Monopoly”…
Trump has all the “get out of jail” cards.
In the new Biden Administration version of the game “Monopoly”…
no parking is allowed on Park Place.
In the new Biden Administration version of the game “Monopoly”…
Buffet has ALL the railroads.
In the new Biden Administration version of the game “Monopoly”…
there is no “chance” for anyone.
You can own Park Place and have someone else pay for it, all the
tokens are little crack pipes and Community Chest is a topless VP…
…Renminbi is used instead of USD.
Massive fines to land on Electric Company if you use the car token.
The Income Tax space doubles every time you land on it.
The Big Guy gets 10% when you land on Oriental.
In the new Biden Administration version of the game “Monopoly”…
more taxes!
And the band played on…
… if you draw both the Dorsey and Zuckerberg cards, you can cancel an opponent from the game…
In the new Biden Administration version of the game “Monopoly”…
in the interest of equality all the tokens are identical.
… land on Bezos, gain unlimited rolls of the dice…
Free Parking is no longer free.
When passing Go, collect unemployment instead of salary.
… owning the Electric Company is a constant drain of funds from useless “green” initiatives and over-regulation…
…every space is Free Parking.
Kamala Harris is the only Community Chest.
You have to pay a carbon tax every time you land on a Railroad
The elite always pass Go, never go directly to Jail, and live uppity ever after on Inept Place.
Once you get a monopoly it gets socialized.
…all the spaces are Income Tax.
…Joe Xiden is know as “Rich Uncle Money Bags” in Hunter’s emails.
The large wooden badger token always wins.
If you get a ‘Russian Collusion’ or ‘incite insurrection’ Chance card you need to survive an impeachment vote.
Everytime you pass Rock Ridge you need to pay a 10 cent toll.
If you get a “Corn Pop confrontation” Chance card you get stuck in the trunk of the Free Parking car until you roll box cars.
…every player token is an iron boot.
Every five minutes, the properties, beginning with Boardwalk on down in price turn into Mediterranean Avenue. At the fifteen and thirty minute marks, the utilities are eliminated. Only the Short Line RR is activated, but only for two minutes every 30 minutes. Only $1 bills are issued.
…nobody can move because dice are racist.
…the board is called The Projects.
…everybody gets their own printing press.
…when you land on someone’s property the other players pay your rent.
…nobody loses but the rich move to another country to avoid the taxes.
In the new Biden Administration version of the game “Monopoly”…
there will be a lot more chutes than ladders.
In the new Biden Administration version of the game “Monopoly”…
Big Tech don’t count as Monopolies.
In the new Biden Administration version of the game “Monopoly”…
the only way to win is not to play by his rules.
If you don’t like the space you land on, you can circle back to the Income Tax space.
In the new Biden Administration version of the game “Monopoly”…
You’re automatically disqualified if you land on the ‘Keystone Pipeline’ square.
In the new Biden Administration version of the game “Monopoly”…
You automatically lose your job and go bankrupt if you land on the ‘Keystone Pipeline’ square.
In the new Biden Administration version of the game “Monopoly”…
when you land on the “Solyndra Square”, you collect from all the other players.
You can’t win
You can’t break even
You can’t even quit the game
…the cheapest property is now a van down by the river.
Who are we kidding? Biden has never figured out Candy Land.