Friday Night Open Thread: I’m Only Here To Learn About the Human Race

Man Discovers Bullet in Buttocks, Told Police He Thought It Was “Roman Candle”
KFVS 12 | 6/30/21 | David Whisenant

SALISBURY, N.C. (WBTV) – A Salisbury man told police that he thought he had been shot in the behind by a Roman candle. It turns out he was shot with a gun and there was a bullet lodged in his buttocks.

According to the police report, the 53-year-old man said that he was at the Sports Complex on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Avenue on Friday at approximately 1:00 a.m. He said that some boys were there shooting fireworks. The man said he felt something hit his left buttock, but “didn’t think much about it.”

The next morning when he woke up, the man said he was bleeding, but still “didn’t think too much about it.” Later he noticed a lump in his groin area.

He said that he felt some pain, but that it “was tolerable.” Family members encouraged him to go to the hospital where it was determined that he had been shot and that the bullet was still in his body.

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The Older You Get, The Less You Throw Up

As far as I’ve been able to observe, age brings with it either the faintest wisp of wisdom, or — mercifully — a decline in behavior likely to wind up with regurgitation. This may perhaps be attributed to a lack of energy. In any case — there are always exceptions — I don’t see the over-40 crowd heaving their guts out as frequently as the newer models do. But then, I don’t live in San Francisco.