Archive of entries posted on May 2023

Still Crazy

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♪

I saw our old president
On the stairs last night
He seemed so frail and senile I just smiled
And he lied about some old times
As if he'd drank himself some beers
Still lazy after all these years
Oh,
Still crazy after all these years

I'm not the kind of man
Who tends to socialism
I seem to lean on
Older freedom ways
And I ain't no fool for liars
Perspiring in my ears
Still CNN-free after all these years
Oh; stir-crazy after all these years

Three in the morning
The President
Is snoring
Hong-Konging my life away
I'll never worry
Why should I?
It's all gonna be traded away

Now I update my Windows
Watched by avatars
That I fear will do severe damage one fine day
But I would not be diverted
Or converted by some beers
It's still crazy after all these years
Oh still hazy
Ford, Blazey, after all these years

♪
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Bye, Croakey!

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NSW Police Suspend Officer Who Tasered Grandmother, 95 (Australia)
1News New Zealand | 5/23/2023 | Andrew Macfarlane

New South Wales Police have suspended the officer

[with pay?]

who tasered a 95-year-old grandmother, causing her to fall to the ground and hit her head.

Clare Nowland is now in end-of-life care after being tasered. Police were called to the rest home where she lives, as she wouldn’t drop a steak knife. She lives with dementia…

… and, she passed away.

The only question is, why didn’t the cops call in more backup and go all Rodney King on her?

The British Call Government Plans “Schemes.” Sounds About Right

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London Mayor’s Transport Team Bans Whites from Internships
National Pulse | May 23, 2023 | Jake Welch

Transport for London (TFL) – the government arm responsible for travel across Britain’s capital city – has banned white people from applying to internships. The organization – whose chairman is London Mayor Sadiq Khan – now only accepts applications from only ethnic minorities.

The organization’s website states, to apply to the Stuart Ross Communications Internship, “you must be of Black, Asian and minority ethnic background, defined as having some African, Afro-Caribbean, Asian or other non-white heritage.”

The Stuart Ross Internship has been excluding “non-whites” for a number of years already, with many graduates of the scheme going on to work in a number of industries including local government and the Metropolitan Police.

The Ministry of Silly Wokes

If At First You Don’t Succeed . . .

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“What we have here is a failure of Commutergate.”

7 Years After Obama Commuted His Life Sentence, Alton Mills Shot, Gravely Wounded Woman on Chicago Expressway: Prosecutors
cwbchicago.com | May 19, 2023

Editor’s note: On May 20, 2023, the Cook County medical examiner’s office stated that the woman has died. The agency identified her as Linda Chattman, 39, of Chicago.

Alton Mills, a 54-year-old man whose federal life sentence was commuted by President Barack Obama in 2015, now faces the potential of another life sentence after officials accused him of shooting and gravely wounding a woman on an expressway in suburban Chicago this week.

Mills was held without bail by Judge Thomas Carroll during a bond hearing on Tuesday. Prosecutors told Carroll that the woman Mills allegedly shot was brain dead. She was not expected to survive.

In 1994, Mills received a life sentence for trafficking cocaine because the crime was his third felony conviction, even though neither of his previous convictions resulted in prison time. After Obama commuted his sentence, his defense attorney said this week, Mills went to work for the Chicago Transit Authority. He also campaigned to eliminate mandatory minimum sentencing.

Shortly after receiving clemency, Mills spoke at a U.S. Senate criminal justice forum at the invitation of Sen. Dick Durbin. At the time, Durbin said Mills was “an overlooked casualty in our ‘war on drugs.’”

“The life story of Chicagoan Alton Mills shows why we need to pass the #FirstStepAct,” Durbin tweeted three years after Mills’ release. “Alton, who received a pardon from President Obama in 2015, was destined to spend his life in prison. He’s now a contributing member of society. #cjreform”

. . .

Mills’ car didn’t move when the light turned green, so the Explorer’s driver pulled around and passed without screaming or honking, according to Morrissey. She said Mills sped to catch up to the Explorer, pulled up next to them, and fired shots from his driver’s window.

Willie Horton Hears a “Who?”

A Nation On The Edge

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Across America, Millions of People Are Shaking Hands, Using Money, Walking Down Aisles in Stores in Both Directions, Attending Concerts, Movies, Restaurants, Church Services, Swimming Pools, Swap Meets, and Beaches — With Cloth Masks at the Ready, Awaiting Emergency Notification From Bureaucrats That Covid, the Flu, Tuberculosis, or the Common Cold May Be in the Area

[Correction: not the Flu, Tuberculosis, or the Common Cold. Pfizer has no mRNA shot for sale to the government for them.]

FrankJ Pays a Visit to IMAO

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At length the hour of shutting up the mocking-house arrived. With an ill-will FrankJ dismounted from his stool, and tacitly admitted the fact to the expectant Walrus in his tank, who instantly snuffed his candle out, and put on his hat.

“You’ll want all day to-morrow, I suppose?” said FrankJ.

“If quite convenient, sir.”

“It’s not convenient,” said FrankJ, “and it’s not fair. If I was to pay you half of nothing for it, you’d think yourself ill-used, I’ll be bound?”

Walrus smiled faintly.

“And yet,” said FrankJ, “you don’t think me ill-used, when I pay no day’s wages for no work.”

The pinniped observed that it was only once a year.

“A poor excuse for picking a man’s pocket every 365 days!” said FrankJ, buttoning his great-coat to the chin. “But I suppose you must have the whole day. Be here all the earlier next morning.”

The clerk promised, with his fingers crossed behind his back, that he would; and FrankJ walked out with a growl. The office was closed in a twinkling, and the clerk, with the long ends of his privileged white comforter dangling below his waist (among other things), went down a slide on Cornhole, twenty times, in honour of its being Memorial Day vacation, and then ran to the interns’ quarters as hard as he could pelt, to play at blindman’s-buff.

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Bud Vibrations

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In honor of Gay Period Month. [Editor’s note: Coors — owner of Miller Light and Molson’s — has also gone full woke.]

♪

I, love Mulvaney clothes he wears
And the way that Biden plays upon his hair
I hear the sound of a mental ward
On the whim that lifts his performance art through the air

I’m pickin’ up Bud vibrations
He’s giving me sex mutations
I’m pickin’ up Bud vibrations (oom bop, bop, Bud vibrations)
He’s giving me disputations (oom bop, bop, incantations)
Bud, Bud, Bud, Bud vibrations (oom bop, bop)
He’s giving me deviations (oom bop, bop, deviations)
Bud, Bud, Bud, Bud vibrations (oom bop, bop)
Cry for the next generations (oom bop, bop, next generations)

Dundee vibes
They’re somehow closer now
Softly smile, we know he’s out of his mind
When I buy Molson Ice
He goes with me to the bathroom urinal

I’m pickin’ up Bud vibrations
He’s giving me sex mutations
I’m pickin’ up Bud vibrations (oom bop, bop, Bud vibrations)
He’s giving me disputations (oom bop, bop, incantations)
Bud, Bud, Bud, Bud vibrations (oom bop, bop)
He’s giving me deviations (oom bop, bop, deviations)
Bud, Bud, Bud, Bud vibrations (oom bop, bop)
Cry for the next generations (oom bop, bop, next generations)

(Ahhh — by the by, what election?)
I don’t go there but he’s covered in hair
(Ah, my, my, no penetration)
(Ah, my, my, what deflation)
(Ah, my, my, no castration?)

Gotta keep those Evinrude conversations a-happenin’ with guys
Gotta keep End-Zone celebrations a-happenin’ with guys
Gotta keep Epistles to Galatians a-happenin’ with guys . . .

Ah!

Good, good, good, good libations (foam, hop, hop)
He’s giving me “Ex” vibrations (oom bop, bop, expectorations)
Good, good, good, good libations (foam, hop, hop)
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah (D’oh! D’oh!) — Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah (D’oh! D’oh!)

[Does Three Stooges nutso move]

“Whooo- wooo hoo!. . . .”

♪

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