Be on your toes, ladies and gentelmen.

Tonight I got — almost three within one minute — very authentic-looking emails from websites that purported to be from:

Dick’s Sporting Goods

Autozone

Apple

. . . the first two offering me free prizes in gratitude for having visiting their sites, and the third threatening to cut me off forever from their service unless I re-verified my info. I have never done business with any of these companies.

No matter how authentic the website looks, be like Oppo: I usually say “Up Yours, Troll!” to messages from IMAO. Drives Basil crazy. If an intern of ours ever asks for your credit card info to buy a sexy yellow dress in order to greet you, carefully weigh the possible costs vs. benefits.