The Dos and Don’ts of Negotiating with Iran American Thinker | 12 Apr, 2025 | Kenneth R. Timmerman
19 Comments
Dogs are pack animals. They will behave according to their rank. If they sense weakness above them, they will try to move up, but otherwise accept their place. Ever give the beta dog it’s bowl of food first? Nothing but problems. Third world leaders are like animals. So it’s in everybody’s best interest to establish the hierarchy early in negotiations.
When I had a good dog, and my sister would bring over hers for a visit, it was a delicate balancing act at feeding time. Either separate by closed doors, or widely separate their bowls. Never decided whether it worked better to feed them in shifts, or simultaneously. Both systems worked tolerably well, as long as they were not competing for the same bowl.
Be professional, extremely informed, polite and engaging and say things like “I’ll take that under advisement.” Finally, agree to nothing if our needs aren’t met and go home with a smile to “confer with my President.” Then, don’t mention that the meeting ever happened. Leave ’em hanging, wondering what will happen next.
Repeat this process until they’re desperate for an agreement and know the consequences of breaking it.
If they do agree to terms, trust but verify – and be ready to hold their feet to the fire.
Extreme Heat..extreme heat applied to oil and sand turns the substance into pavement. Pave most of the middle east, start with Iran..make it look like it was their own atomic bomb go wrong..you have the largest airport in the world from which to fly sorties from…
Then you ask..” Next?..who wants to be next?”
It all comes down to SCIENCE!
Dogs are pack animals. They will behave according to their rank. If they sense weakness above them, they will try to move up, but otherwise accept their place. Ever give the beta dog it’s bowl of food first? Nothing but problems. Third world leaders are like animals. So it’s in everybody’s best interest to establish the hierarchy early in negotiations.
… That’s why it’s called “Pack”istan.
When I had a good dog, and my sister would bring over hers for a visit, it was a delicate balancing act at feeding time. Either separate by closed doors, or widely separate their bowls. Never decided whether it worked better to feed them in shifts, or simultaneously. Both systems worked tolerably well, as long as they were not competing for the same bowl.
DO be patronizing.
DON’T take any guff
… send pallets of pretty green pieces of paper…
…crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women…
… send them James Taylor…
Oh, the humanity!
Second World countries, like Russia, are the biggest threat right now.
Fourth World North Korea is a total joke with Little Rocket Man. 🤣
Your emoji should be the expression that our ambassador/negotiator presents to them.
… just skip the third world; it’s not that interesting. Use your Warp Whistle to go to World 4, at least.
Be professional, extremely informed, polite and engaging and say things like “I’ll take that under advisement.” Finally, agree to nothing if our needs aren’t met and go home with a smile to “confer with my President.” Then, don’t mention that the meeting ever happened. Leave ’em hanging, wondering what will happen next.
Repeat this process until they’re desperate for an agreement and know the consequences of breaking it.
If they do agree to terms, trust but verify – and be ready to hold their feet to the fire.
/serious
Make a pun out of their country’s name. They respect that.
Oh, and don’t send Dylan Mulvaney.
There are some third-worlders who would view sending Dylan as quite a bribe…
Don’t hand over any million-dollar bills until you have what you want from the deal.
Remember: You don’t have to set aside 10% for the Big Guy anymore. DOGE Savings!
Always tell them, not too much starch for the collars.
Extreme Heat..extreme heat applied to oil and sand turns the substance into pavement. Pave most of the middle east, start with Iran..make it look like it was their own atomic bomb go wrong..you have the largest airport in the world from which to fly sorties from…
Then you ask..” Next?..who wants to be next?”
It all comes down to SCIENCE!
When starting any face-to-face negotiation, ALWAYS have Kim-chi breath.