We need fewer college students aspiring to save the world and more of them aspiring to have at least one marketable skill.
“You’re worse than Hitler!” -fun thing to say to someone trying unsuccessfully to grow a mustache
“Everyone who doesn’t agree with me is extreme.” -bigot
The worst parenting mistake I keep making is when I think I’m giving my son his pacifier but I accidentally instead grabbed the angrifier.
All I know about humor is that when a woman laughs at one of my jokes, it means she wants to have sex with me. Calm down, ladies.
I assume in the mirror universe, people get upset when a restaurant serves Coke instead of Pepsi.
It has to suck to turn 50 and know that no one cares what TV shows you watch anymore.
So what were the chances Texas was going to elect a really honest abortion extremist as governor?
“Who cut down this cherry tree?”
“Father, I cannot tell a lie. I like big butts.”
So for how many more decades can we keep making fun of global warming until we’ll totally be sorry?
Instead of “epistemic closure,” wouldn’t a simpler term be “to Krugman”?
“Father, I cannot tell a lie. I like big butts.”
Washington was a “Yo, Man” farmer
“It has to suck to turn 50 and know that no one cares
what TV shows you watch anymore.”There.
When I turned 50, the expression I kept hearing was, “It doesn’t get any easier.” After 10 years of experience with it, I concluded they were right.
To paraphrase the SEALs: “The only easy decade was last decade.”
I had to look up what epistemic closure because I orginally thought it referened to an episiotomy and that took the comment in a completely different direction
“I like big butts.”
It took a while to sink in, Frank…
Then you must like Michelle Obama.
Proof George Washington couldn’t tell a lie.
So Star Trek got it right: Mirror universes are evil.
“All I know about humor is that when a woman laughs at one of my jokes, it means she wants to have sex with me. Calm down, ladies.”
Not wanting to mess with SarahK, I’ll be sure to pretend you’re dull as a brick and never laugh again. At least not out loud.