When they are in season, Fred Thompson enjoys hunting, killing, skinning and preparing fresh Balrog.
Archive of entries posted by spacemonkey
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I Dare You
I won’t describe to you what is happening in the picture I am about to link to. The dawning of what’s happening is part of the image’s power. It’s not funny in the least.
But this photo, it speaks directly to the deepest part of your heart. It sure did speak to mine.
Look at this picture and not cry.
I dare you and I warned you.
Something Fishy About Ron Paul
It’s a well established fact Ron Paul can perform literal acts of magic that wow and woo his avid/rabid followers. His supporters, By and Large, (their actual names) have sworn to give their very lives at his command. They both work tirelessly to spread the troof about the wonderland a Ron Paul led free world would be. They also adjust internet polls to correct for the silent majority.
Ah, the crisp smell of a freshly restored U.S. Constitution is quite an enticing idea. We all bicker about those idiotic amendments and the Bill of rights anyway. They weren’t in the original document so they really have tainted the Republic. Any present day Thomas Jefferson would tell you that.
That’s not what’s got me bothered. It’s his voice. With every sentence he speaks the pitch rises. For a 2 minute debate answer it doesn’t get too terribly painful. But can you imagine what would happen towards the end of a State Of The Union address? Don’t bother, I can. T.V. tubes shattering, dogs howling in pain, vermin of all sorts running for their lives, eardrums bursting, bridges failing, the crust of the earth cracking in half. Is it worth it to destroy the planet, just to save the Republic? That’s a question we’ll need to answer.
Plus he was a gynecologist, which doesn’t necessarily make him a pervert, but it’s not so easy to wash your hands of that sort of activity. I’d like to think that the era of a having a resident of the White House who has been up close and personal with hundreds of hoohoos, chichis or whatever the technical term is, ended when Hillary moved out.
Sam Brownback Has Quit the Race
Quitters never win and winners never quit. And now Sam Brownback has quit the race for president and I say good riddance. One thing is for sure, now he won’t win.
Now the questions that are on everyone’s mind: Who? Why did he quit? To the first question I will answer frankly, I don’t know/care either. The answer to the second I think is self evident. He’s a quitter.
We really didn’t need a quitter as president anyway. I’m sure you agree. We need a winner. Which quitters aren’t.
I think we’ll see as the months go by, more and more quitters will have their lives scrutinized and torn apart. They’ll have their names dragged through the mud and eventually they’ll quit. quitting, It’s just what quitters do.
When quitters quit, who wins?
The American public.
Nobel Prize Awarded To Global Polluter
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Well, it’s official.
Just as the buzz predicted, the winner of this year’s Nobel Peace Prize is former Vice President of the United States Al Gore for spreading the word on global warming.
If he’s ‘spreading the word’ on global warming, why hasn’t changed his jet setting lifestyle? I guess at his palatial energy guzzling home the ‘word on global warming’ has to be spread pretty thin.
So what does his winning this mean? Well it means the Nobel prize committee folk aren’t getting any less liberal. and well be saturated with more GoreBal Alarming media blather for at least a solid two weeks.
On the bright side, Rush Limbaugh will no doubt have plenty to say today since he was nominated for it too.
I need a graphic for this post, will someone make me one?
IMAO Headlines
Ever wanted to show IMAO’s newest headlines right on your very own site? Sure you have.
But until today it was prohibitively expensive and could cost millions of lives. A new day has dawned and here is a widget you can use to promote your favorite humor site.
No, I meant this one.
You are welcome.
Updated: A new smaller headliner is below the fold.
I Asked Dr Helen And She Answered
Helen NotReynolds has a little q and a she does on pajamas media.So I figured I’d ask a question. The preface here is a previous column she did about altruism. And it got me thinking.
Date: Tue, 31 Jul 2007 12:35:40 -0500
From: spacemonkey@lmao.us
To: askdrhelen@hotfemale.com
Subject: Doing A Public Service?
Would you consider someone who drinks puppy smoothies (and I’m not necessarily talking about your husband) as a doer of a public service akin to the job performed by animal shelter staff when they are putting down unwanted animals?
—
SpaceMonkey
———————
http://www.imao.us
Her response was telling as well as chilling.
Dear Spacemonkey,
Absolutely. Puppies really aren’t animals anyway. They are technically foodstuffs and are grown in greenhouses or as at our house, a cloning vat. Manned day and night by hobos who are awaiting their “trip to the other side of the tracks” as Glenn likes to say.
They are delicious and refreshing. In this heat, a little public service that also refreshes is its own double reward. What good citizenry is all about: Doing the right thing when it helps you out.
Hope this helps.
Dr Helen
P.S. Buy a Volvo.
Always with the Volvo.
Ad Funny
I noticed we have an ad for liberty maniacs appearing sometimes.
And the kicker is, they are selling Ron Paul for president merchandise.
I might have gone with ‘lunatics’ instead, but ‘maniacs’, isn’t that fitting?
I guess it’s bad to talk about advertisers, though. Any advertisers reading this please ignore this little observation.
Vote 4 Hillary Because, ahhh, ummm, hang on a sec, Urrr. ???
Minimum Wage
Why don’t we raise the minimum wage to say, 60 million dollars an hour? If raising it really helps so many people, then why not help everybody? Who do you know that makes more than 60 million an hour?
Then we could all be millionaires. Assuming we have a job and could keep it for more than a minute.
That would totally end poverty for everyone with a job. And it would be a great incentive for people who don’t work to get hired. The dollar menu at McDonald’s would probably change to the 20 grand menu. Chump change for all of us millionaires, don’t ya think? It’s win-win.
I think I’d retire after about 10 minutes though, I’m not greedy. OK, maybe 20 minutes.
Half hour, tops.