The Bright Side of an Obama Presidency
Now that the Barackalypse is upon us, I comfort myself with a few silver linings:
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* The MSM will now feel free to mention the fact that we’re winning in Iraq.
* This proves – to a degree of certainty held previously only by the existence of gravity – that public financing of Presidential elections is the stupidest, least-effective idea for “campaign finance reform” since… well… the McCain-Feingold Act.
* The galactically unfunny Tina Fey can now go back to her day job, which apparently involves exchanging unsavory acts for money, although I guess “acting” looks better on a resume.
* Within 2 years, all those old jokes about Carter’s incompetent presidency can be dusted off and recycled without appearing the least bit dated, including ones about hostages in Iran.
* Speaking of Carter, ya suppose Barry’s African half-brother is gonna come out with Georgie Beer?
* Free gas & mortgage payments!
* I’m gonna make a fortune short-selling coal futures.
* Since being a socialist is now hip & trendy instead of shameful and un-American, Karl Marx is the new Che Guevara. I’m taking all my coal money and investing it in Marx t-shirts.
* Michelle can finally say “Whitey!” in public without embarrassment. Holding it in for the last two years has just been KILLING her.
* Palin 2012.
(36 votes, average: 4.97 out of 5)
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November 6th, 2008 at 7:32 am
Well I am a rebel so…Im gonna get a Lenin shirt
November 6th, 2008 at 7:35 am
Speaking of recycled jokes, it’s “sing-a-long” time:
When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
The age of Aquarius
Aquarius!
Aquarius!
Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revalation
And the mind’s true liberation
Aquarius!
Aquarius!
When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius
The age of Aquarius
Aquarius!
Aquarius! (repeat ad nauseum)
“Those who don’t know their history are destined to repeat it.”
November 6th, 2008 at 8:26 am
Cuban cigars will soon be available. (Are they as good as the hype?) No way Pres. Obama continues the embargo against his soul mates.
November 6th, 2008 at 8:42 am
“Palin 2012″
Seriously?
November 6th, 2008 at 8:48 am
I understand that Obama will have his own reinforced-glass bubble car, similar to the one JP3 tooled around in. It will be called, “The Dope-mobile.”
November 6th, 2008 at 9:06 am
* Arugula will finally be affordable.
November 6th, 2008 at 9:26 am
Gun dealers will do a booming business.
For a while, anyway …
November 6th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Well, y’all know what this means? WE are now the counter-culture, and they (hippies, limousine liberals, and all shades of “progressive” in between) are The Man.
WE are the rebels! And, as we’ve all seen, that makes us all cool and stuff, “like.” It’s going to be fun to “stand up to the Establishment.”
This just has endless potential.
Now, instead of being the counter-protesters, we get to be the protesters.
Would it be too much to say we feel disenfranchised?
November 6th, 2008 at 9:49 am
“Tax according to his income, spread the wealth according to his inability to earn one .”
Of course we “needed to elect a black man as President”, I mean shit, every other modern industrialized country has…
you know, like….ummm…well there’s umm..
ok, well communism is great, everyone knows that, it’s worked out so well in…umm…umm…
see? the world is racist and communist-ist!
communistism is the new hate crime.
November 6th, 2008 at 10:09 am
From the stories I’ve read, it’s more likely going to be “Georgie Ganja”.
November 6th, 2008 at 10:13 am
Yesterday, I finally realized the true genius of George Bush. By passing the bailout plan with the US economy struggling to pay for Iraq and Afghanistan, ther won’t be any money left for most of THE ONE’s pet projects, even after he raises Frank J.’s taxes to 75%(one of Nancy Pelosie’s pet projects is to put a dhimmi tax on conservatives).
November 6th, 2008 at 10:26 am
* I’m gonna make a fortune short-selling coal futures.
And your Government Lord & Master thanks you (not really) for
giving usletting us take that fortune!November 6th, 2008 at 10:28 am
* The local radio announcers are already starting to pronounce the President’s name as Socrates does:
“Ba Rackobama”
Why is Socrates so prophetic?
November 6th, 2008 at 10:29 am
I thought “acting” WAS “exchanging unsavory acts for money.”
And speaking of which, we need to make sure that all the LimoLibs and Hollywood types making millions (ie, $250K+) gonna pay their patriotic fair share in taxes.
November 6th, 2008 at 10:43 am
I’m with Scooter. Palin in 2012? That would just mean more Tina Fey.
Country first!
November 6th, 2008 at 10:59 am
We can already recycle those tired “It’s a Festivus MIRACLE!” jokes from Seinfeld as “It’s an Obama MIRACLE!”
So inexpensive arugula, boomiing gun sales, fortunes made shorting coal — all Obama MIRACLES
November 6th, 2008 at 11:19 am
* IMAO job security (plenty of material)
November 6th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Yes Bob, Cuban cigars are up to the hype. I get mine from the Dominican Republic as they at least use Cuban seed tobacco. Life’s too short for a cheap cigar. A silver lining in all this, Prop 8 passed in Ca. due to the black vote that came out to support the One.
November 6th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Harvey – any predictions on bucket futures?
November 6th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Of course Palin/Jindhal – or Jindhal/Palin 2012. By then Tina Fey will be so broke from paying her Obamataxes ™ that she will need the money anyway.
Assuming SNL is still allowed to exist on the ObamaTV ™. It will be all Obama all the time.
November 6th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
THe best thing about an Obama presidency is that WE (conservatives) haven’t been this fired up in years. I guess we needed something to light a fire under our collective butts.
November 6th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Under Obamuhamad, we find ourselves suddenly free to cast off past evil responsibilities such as:
Paying bills. Waving the flag. Investing. Sending boxes of stuff to soldiers. Abstaining from crack. Driving American cars. Giving to charity. Working. Reading-listening-comprehending.
No more America-loving, gun-toting, and religion-respecting for us! Nope, the country has spoken; hope and dope have prevailed. The only mission will be to hold out our hands to be lined with silver. Life will be so… so… liberalating!
Now where’s my check?
November 6th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
They’re workin’ on it, Love. Pelosi and Reid’s stimulus #2. Do you need a stimulus?
When I get my stimulus, I get all excited and hyper and I tend to hum a lot.
November 6th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
“Barackalypse” — brilliant — i’m going to race you to the copywrite office on that one!
November 6th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
You missed one – now France will pretend to be our ally again, at least for four years.
Makes it all seem worth it, now doesn’t it?
November 6th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
#23, Jimmy says: ” … Do you need a stimulus? When I get my stimulus, I get all excited and hyper and I tend to hum a lot.”
My stimulus is more quiet and smug — stealthy if you will. Glueing flag stickers on the car bumpers of the folks downstairs… Hollering really loud from my boudoir, about the folks upstairs in theirs, “Gee, honey, they sure are always in a HURRY!” And, a couple weeks ago, knowing the thugs who broke into my car grabbed a plastic bag with two patriotic ponchos and two patriotic umbrellas. Hehehe. Almost worth the $125 to fix the window.
November 6th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
We are going to make Conservatism cool again!
And going to have a new Ronald Reagen in 2012!
YEAH!
November 7th, 2008 at 1:29 am
45 inches of snow in South Dakota on Wednesday, Thousands stranded without power or heat.
On the one hand, Global Warming seems to be in remission.
On the other hand, an exciting preview of the Obama Energy Plan.
November 7th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
As much as SNL drives me nuts nowadays, you should really give 30 Rock a chance. I was shocked to find it’s really funny – but you kind of have to start at the beginning. FYI.