Faisal Shahzad. He’s a Muslim who trained with the Taliban in Pakistan and then tried to blow up a bomb in Times Square. Why? Apparently, his motives are shrouded in mystery.
We at IMAO love dangerous speculation, though, so we’re going to try and take a guess at what his motives could be:
POSSIBLE MOTIVES OF FAISAL SHAHZAD
* Was blowing up a SUV to protest Obama’s slow movement on cap & trade.
* He got tired of people making fun of his beard.
* Just thought it was a quick way to dispose of fertilizer.
* He got tried of people pronouncing his first name like he’s the mouse from An American Tale.
* He was racist against Barack Obama.
* He got tired of people doing imitations of Gomer Pyle when saying his last name.
* It was performance art.
* An older boy told him to do it.
* He was upset at how DC comics killed off Aquaman.
* It was the only way to get people to recall their lives in a parallel universe.
I guess we’ll never know.
BTW, was anyone else surprised by how quickly people took credit for the bombing attempt? The Taliban tried to take credit right away and Shahzad admitted to it immediately when caught. When the attempt sucked that bad, you’d think there would be a little more distancing from it.