The Red Debate

Posted on October 4, 2012 11:00 am

They’re still hosing down the stage, washing all the blood off of it. I don’t know if you watched the debate last night, but it was horrific. For two hours, we watched a rich, privileged white man savagely beat and humiliate a black man as an audience of millions cheered on. It’s hard even to contemplate. Afterwards, the faces of the MSNBC anchors were covered in tears and snot as their words were barely understandable through through their weeping. “It was… a… a… tie,” Maddow muttered, barely audible. Chris Matthews just let out a loud cry reminiscent of Chewbacca in The Empire Strikes Back when the Hoth base closed the door on Han Solo. He had lost all feeling in his leg. And I can’t shake from my mind the image of Romney after the debate, completely covered in the blood of his vanquished foe such that the only thing on him that wasn’t crimson was his wide, crazed eyes and the white teeth from his hideous smile.

Who am I kidding… THAT WAS AWESOME!!!

I mean. Wow. What a catharsis. We’ve been waiting forever for someone to smack that little arrogant twerp Obama around. And who can we thank for that lovely massacre? The MSM, for keeping Obama so sheltered he had no idea how to defend his horrible record. That debate was like a hamster versus a blender. It was glorious.

And what’s next? Paul Ryan versus Joe “the middle class is buried!” Biden. This is almost mean now. I hope you love schadenfreude, because it is being served up in huge helpings.

Oh, Romney, I’m sorry I doubted you. You may have squishy principles, but your desire to be president is made of steel — steel you use to pound your enemies to goo.

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20 Responses to “The Red Debate”

  1. Jimmy says:

    “That debate was like a hamster versus a blender.”

    I hear it was also similar to The Super Bass-O-Matic 76.

  2. Dodsfall says:

    Romney started off strong and had Obama on defense all night. It was almost as if Romney was holding back a bit after the one-two punch of Solyndra and the fact that 2 million teachers could have been hired with the wasted money that has gone to green energy failures. I think they both knew Romney had won at that point.

    The closing statement by Obama was horrible. I think he made it up on the spot.

    “Yeah, I am a failure, but I tried real hard. Can I still have a participation trophy?”

  3. Jay says:

    “What is best in life?”

    “To crush you enemies, to see them driven before you and to hear the lamentations of the women.”

  4. Vaktatunnen says:

    Ryan versus Biden will be Kid Quick versus Glass Joe.
    And when I say Glass Joe, it’s because he usually keeps a glass nearby.

  5. blarg says:

    Obama better hope that a kicked ass is covered under Obamacare – Dennis Miller

  6. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    Is there a “slaughter rule” established for the Ryan-Biden debate?

    Gee, I hope not…let Ryan floss his teeth with Biden’s hair plugs to clear out those stubborn bits of bloody flesh that can, occasionally, get stuck betweeen a predator’s fangs.

  7. Iowa Jim says:

    The last time that I had this much fun watching anything even remotely political Condoleezza Rice was kicking Lawrence O’Donnell’s teeth down his throat.

  8. zeeman says:

    That was great Frank!!

  9. blarg says:

    hey, give Obama a break – he hadn’t had a cigarette in like 3 hours. That’s just how smokers get.

  10. Tired American says:

    Was I the only one that found the presidential debate last night unfair? How dare they have an open discussion on such topics as foreign affairs, the economy and health care. How dare they ask the president and the governor about pertinent political issues that are critical to the nation’s future. Didn’t the moderator understand that this type of questioning is biased toward Governor Romney and was completely out of touch with what the Obama administration stands for?

    Where were the questions dealing with what truly matters to our president. How dare they not open the debate about community organizing or the art of apologizing? Where was the questions about how to blame someone else for you inadequacies as a leader. They also missed inquiring about different ways to run up the national debt while cutting our military during a time of war. Plus, I really wanted to know what both thought about the best way to kiss China’s ass while increasing foreign aid to Middle East countries that want all Americans dead.

    But seriously, didn’t Obama look like a shell of a man. Without his teleprompter he was like a deer in the headlight. When faced with facts and statistics by Romney, Obama was only left with rhetoric to defend himself. I have to ask myself this question after hearing him sputter out contrived nonsense last night: does he really know what he’s doing? Honestly, he appeared completely out of touch. He had no answers for the economy, foreign affairs or healthcare. And he seemed not to understand the critical problems that America is currently facing.

    Though I was extremely happy with the outcome of the debate, I was just as scared. I knew Obama was incompetent, but what I saw last night took this to a whole new level. It left me with fear that he is our current president and could potentially be in the oval office for another 4 years. iIf that doesn’t send a chill down every American’s spine, I don’t know what will!

  11. Crabby Old Bat says:

    We’ve been screaming that the Emperor has no clothes for four years. Last night, finally, someone did it while someone other than the conservative right was watching. (And since he had no clothes, we were all able to confirm that he has no balls, either. Naked and shivering like a mole rat caught above-ground in a hurricane.) (Except that I would feel sorry for the mole rat.)

  12. SGT Kane says:

    That debate, needs an In My World. Or rather that debate could have been lifted directly from an IMW if it’d had more ghosts, and strangling.

  13. Kg1982 says:

    Is the Red Debate a take off on the Red Wedding? Because while both were massacres the good guys won the Red Debate fairly

  14. 4of7 says:

    “And I can’t shake from my mind the image of Romney after the debate, completely covered in the blood of his vanquished foe such that the only thing on him that wasn’t crimson was his wide, crazed eyes and the white teeth from his hideous smile.”

    Maybe Romney got help preparing for the debate from Laura Bush?

    Laura now entered the room, covered from head to toe in red.
    “Uh… how’d it go, dear?” Bush asked, a bit confused.
    “They aren’t going to say mean things about you anymore.” Laura answered firmly.
    “Then why are you… uh… covered in red paint?” Bush inquired, handing her a handkerchief.
    Laura wiped her face with the handkerchief. “It’s not all paint.”

    – IMW, Blood is Also Symbolic of Blood, July 14, 2003.

  15. Bad Science says:

    “I hope you love schadenfreude, because it is being served up in huge helpings.”
    Looks like there’s going to be plenty of hot sauce too, so I’ll just go get my fork and dig right in!
    Also, bacon to 4of7 in number 14, it is good to go back to the archives from time to time. Good job!

  16. dwart pfartquart says:

    First time I have seen a prison rape on network tv.

  17. QoTW!!! « Freedom Is Just Another Word… links:

    […] keeping Obama so sheltered he had no idea how to defend his horrible record." –humorist Frank J. Fleming Share this:ShareFacebookTwitterDiggRedditStumbleUponLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. […]

  18. Alas says:

    I really think it’s a shame though, that for Romney to win a debate, he had to completely go back on everything he’s been campaigning for for the last 8+ years.
    No tax breaks for the upper class (which he PROMISED us). How are they ever going to make the jobs for everyone else?
    Won’t completely repeal universal healthcare (which he PROMISED us). Why should we be forced to help people stay healthy? He said it best when he said that poor people should just go to emergency rooms. Sure, the hospitals have to care for them, providing more expensive care after they become deathly ill on SOMEONE’s dime, but why should I have to KNOW that we’re spending billions on healthcare as a country?

    Good thing his campaign has gone back and retracted pretty much everything he said in his winning debate last night. Wouldn’t want him to actually stand for the things that most people support.

  19. Mark says:

    Exactly what I was thinking on all points after the debates. God has a way of fulfilling His will even when we don’t see. We have been upset at the media sheltering Obama but the “chickens have come home to roost.” I’m glad someone took him down a few pegs. The next day he was out talking $#!+ again. Time for another slappin’.

  20. Terry says:

    To Alas could you find one more lift wing progressive pundit to cite? maybe chaves, or vlad? After all he will be more flexable after the election. I hope (and this is the only hope we have had since he took over) he can do it from what ever hole he can find in chi-town as long as it isn’t the whitehouse any more, I’m tired of seeing good men and women die because of his policies.
    Major USMC,

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