Straight Line of the Day: After Declaring Bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…
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(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
November 19th, 2012 at 12:01 pm
shrugged.
(wonder where I thought of that.)
November 19th, 2012 at 12:02 pm
…engaged Chef Gordon Ramsey to fire all their bakers.
November 19th, 2012 at 12:03 pm
failed to cornered the market on leftover Ding Dongs as Barry and Joe were otherwise engaged.
November 19th, 2012 at 12:03 pm
Invested in Bain Capital
November 19th, 2012 at 12:04 pm
…made off with the dough
November 19th, 2012 at 12:10 pm
After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries… Senior Executives were scene putting in applications at Orkin
had to think about that one didn’t ya?
November 19th, 2012 at 12:12 pm
…reorganized and started manufacturing the first successful electric car…. then Barry woke up.
November 19th, 2012 at 12:14 pm
Released a statement: “There could not have been a Cruller economic environment for us to make a go of it in.
November 19th, 2012 at 12:15 pm
Provided evidence to the authorities that Hillary Clinton had indeed offed Blintz Foster.
November 19th, 2012 at 12:33 pm
(sidenote: The bun is the lowest for of wit.)
November 19th, 2012 at 12:35 pm
…qualified as an Obama Administration success story.
November 19th, 2012 at 12:38 pm
After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…….decided that possibly Twinkies might survive as a foreign import. Just like that other Twinkie in the White House.…
November 19th, 2012 at 12:44 pm
… Urged the president to tap into the strategic twinkie reserve.
November 19th, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Hostess Bakeries…said “we wanted all you fat lazy loafers on welfare to get an idea of what it’s like when your Obama bucks run out and you can’t get any more of your favorite free food.”
November 19th, 2012 at 12:51 pm
…fired workers just loafed around kneeding dough without a roll model like a bunch of dingdongs.
November 19th, 2012 at 12:54 pm
really got their buns burned…
November 19th, 2012 at 12:55 pm
…received a $500 million bailout to convert their ovens to solar power… and change their name to Roll-yndra.
November 19th, 2012 at 1:11 pm
After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries’ union declared it a victory for the workers because now they could get free money from Obama’s stash and the evil capitalist pigs who made them produce Twinkies would now have to starve. Too close to the truth, actually.
November 19th, 2012 at 1:21 pm
Will invest their time, talent and treasure into a “real” Hostess business. Ho-Ho is now a job title, and Twinkie is something you pay extra for.
November 19th, 2012 at 1:25 pm
Fired rockets into Israel from the Gaza strip.
November 19th, 2012 at 1:36 pm
Re 19 Thor
So where are they putting the Ding Dongs ?
November 19th, 2012 at 1:56 pm
After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…handed a lump of coal to every union worker.
November 19th, 2012 at 1:59 pm
After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…mused about the irony of the bakers union last statement when rejecting the contract offer, “Let them eat cake”.
November 19th, 2012 at 2:02 pm
After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…issued a statement: “We may not have built this alone, but we sure didn’t close it alone either.”
November 19th, 2012 at 2:07 pm
sold the Ho Ho brand to Jar Jar Binks.
November 19th, 2012 at 2:16 pm
sells one brand to the President and the Mayor of Chicago, that will be marketed as Rahm-Obama-Ding-Dongs – The Edsels were unavailable for comment.
November 19th, 2012 at 2:18 pm
After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…stated that the unions had left them with a Sno-Balls chance in hell of reaching an agreement.
November 19th, 2012 at 2:19 pm
After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…change the wrapper on the finlas loaves of bread to “Wonder Who’s To Blame Bread”.
November 19th, 2012 at 2:23 pm
…told the union negotiator “You’ve been iced, cupcake”.
…chopped down the Keebler Elves tree.
…had Sara Lee and Dolly Madison plastic wrapped together. Then they had Sara Lee and Dolly Madison.
November 19th, 2012 at 2:26 pm
…admitted that no new Ding Dongs had been made since 1956 and were closing because they had run out.
November 19th, 2012 at 2:36 pm
Executives counted their severance bonuses as they chuckled walking past the union slobs that now can’t afford Call of Duty for Christmas. Bwahahahaha
November 19th, 2012 at 2:51 pm
…realized that they could have been saved by merely rerouting more of their deliveries to Washington and Colorado.
November 19th, 2012 at 3:04 pm
@26 Rodney Dill…. “Rahm-Obama-Ding Dongs? .That is the funniest thing I’ve seen in print since Nov 6. If Harvey doesn’t give you this one, something is seriously wrong.
November 19th, 2012 at 3:20 pm
…filed their application to receive a billion dollar grant in exchange for reforming as “hoestess bakeries” and producing green twinkies.
…put out an open letter to mayor bloomberg: “bet you wish you woulda thought of socialized medicine to rid your state of moderate amounts of soda!”
…asked the baker’s union, “how much are your dues now, retards?”
…gave a shout out to tallahasee and offered to sponsor zombieland 2.
November 19th, 2012 at 4:53 pm
…Stated that having seen Obama’s foreign policy, there just wasn’t room in the market for two spongy products wrapped around a squishy core.
November 19th, 2012 at 4:59 pm
The CEO issued a statement which said….
Who will help me make the stuff in the middle?
“Not I” said the progressive doofus who voted for obama
Who will help me mix the twinkie dough?
“Not I” said the “occupy” idiot…
Who will help me bake the twinkies?
“Not I” said the fourth generation welfare queen…
so the CEO did it all himself, and only made enough twinkies for the other people in the country who had a clue….and all those other people starved to death, and were eaten by coyotes. The end.
November 19th, 2012 at 5:15 pm
…moved to Mexico, fired the Unions and reproduced the same products at half the price, but thrice the volume.
November 19th, 2012 at 6:53 pm
Seceded from the Unites States of America.
November 19th, 2012 at 8:05 pm
revealed what the mystery cream filling in twinkies really was made of.
November 19th, 2012 at 9:01 pm
@ #21 Apostic: I wasn’t going there. What is understood need not be discussed.
November 19th, 2012 at 9:10 pm
…opened “underground bakeries” in California and Colorado selling “under the counter” to marijuana shops.
November 19th, 2012 at 9:12 pm
@ #40 Thor: Let’s just say, it will make you Yodel.
November 19th, 2012 at 11:10 pm
…expressed concern that Michelle’s butt is too big to fail.
November 20th, 2012 at 6:07 am
#43: teh funneh is HUGE.
November 20th, 2012 at 8:27 pm
@ #33 springeraz:
I choose the winners of this, not Harvey. He’s completely off the hook for the contest part of this thing.
November 20th, 2012 at 8:54 pm
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