Straight Line of the Day: After Declaring Bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…

Posted on November 19, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…

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46 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: After Declaring Bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…”

  1. rodney dill says:


    (wonder where I thought of that.)

  2. rodney dill says:

    …engaged Chef Gordon Ramsey to fire all their bakers.

  3. rodney dill says:

    failed to cornered the market on leftover Ding Dongs as Barry and Joe were otherwise engaged.

  4. rodney dill says:

    Invested in Bain Capital

  5. rodney dill says:

    …made off with the dough

  6. Lance says:

    After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries… Senior Executives were scene putting in applications at Orkin

    had to think about that one didn’t ya?

  7. rodney dill says:

    …reorganized and started manufacturing the first successful electric car…. then Barry woke up.

  8. rodney dill says:

    Released a statement: “There could not have been a Cruller economic environment for us to make a go of it in.

  9. rodney dill says:

    Provided evidence to the authorities that Hillary Clinton had indeed offed Blintz Foster.

  10. apostic says:

    (sidenote: The bun is the lowest for of wit.)

  11. Genghis Khen says:

    …qualified as an Obama Administration success story.

  12. springeraz says:

    After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…….decided that possibly Twinkies might survive as a foreign import. Just like that other Twinkie in the White House.…

  13. g says:

    … Urged the president to tap into the strategic twinkie reserve.

  14. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    Hostess Bakeries…said “we wanted all you fat lazy loafers on welfare to get an idea of what it’s like when your Obama bucks run out and you can’t get any more of your favorite free food.”

  15. FormerHostage says:

    …fired workers just loafed around kneeding dough without a roll model like a bunch of dingdongs.

  16. rodney dill says:

    really got their buns burned…

  17. rodney dill says:

    …received a $500 million bailout to convert their ovens to solar power… and change their name to Roll-yndra.

  18. Mike in OH says:

    After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries’ union declared it a victory for the workers because now they could get free money from Obama’s stash and the evil capitalist pigs who made them produce Twinkies would now have to starve. Too close to the truth, actually.

  19. Thor says:

    Will invest their time, talent and treasure into a “real” Hostess business. Ho-Ho is now a job title, and Twinkie is something you pay extra for.

  20. Matt Musson says:

    Fired rockets into Israel from the Gaza strip.

  21. apostic says:

    Re 19 Thor
    So where are they putting the Ding Dongs ? 😉

  22. CTCompromise says:

    After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…handed a lump of coal to every union worker.

  23. CTCompromise says:

    After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…mused about the irony of the bakers union last statement when rejecting the contract offer, “Let them eat cake”.

  24. CTCompromise says:

    After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…issued a statement: “We may not have built this alone, but we sure didn’t close it alone either.”

  25. rodney dill says:

    sold the Ho Ho brand to Jar Jar Binks.

  26. rodney dill says:

    sells one brand to the President and the Mayor of Chicago, that will be marketed as Rahm-Obama-Ding-Dongs – The Edsels were unavailable for comment.

  27. CTCompromise says:

    After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…stated that the unions had left them with a Sno-Balls chance in hell of reaching an agreement.

  28. CTCompromise says:

    After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…change the wrapper on the finlas loaves of bread to “Wonder Who’s To Blame Bread”.

  29. Dohtimes says:

    …told the union negotiator “You’ve been iced, cupcake”.

    …chopped down the Keebler Elves tree.

    …had Sara Lee and Dolly Madison plastic wrapped together. Then they had Sara Lee and Dolly Madison.

  30. Dohtimes says:

    …admitted that no new Ding Dongs had been made since 1956 and were closing because they had run out.

  31. plentyobailouts says:

    Executives counted their severance bonuses as they chuckled walking past the union slobs that now can’t afford Call of Duty for Christmas. Bwahahahaha

  32. Outback Jon says:

    …realized that they could have been saved by merely rerouting more of their deliveries to Washington and Colorado.

  33. springeraz says:

    @26 Rodney Dill…. “Rahm-Obama-Ding Dongs? .That is the funniest thing I’ve seen in print since Nov 6. If Harvey doesn’t give you this one, something is seriously wrong.

  34. archangel says:

    …filed their application to receive a billion dollar grant in exchange for reforming as “hoestess bakeries” and producing green twinkies.
    …put out an open letter to mayor bloomberg: “bet you wish you woulda thought of socialized medicine to rid your state of moderate amounts of soda!”
    …asked the baker’s union, “how much are your dues now, retards?”
    …gave a shout out to tallahasee and offered to sponsor zombieland 2.

  35. hwy93 says:

    …Stated that having seen Obama’s foreign policy, there just wasn’t room in the market for two spongy products wrapped around a squishy core.

  36. springeraz says:

    The CEO issued a statement which said….
    Who will help me make the stuff in the middle?
    “Not I” said the progressive doofus who voted for obama
    Who will help me mix the twinkie dough?
    “Not I” said the “occupy” idiot…
    Who will help me bake the twinkies?
    “Not I” said the fourth generation welfare queen…
    so the CEO did it all himself, and only made enough twinkies for the other people in the country who had a clue….and all those other people starved to death, and were eaten by coyotes. The end.

  37. Writer says:

    …moved to Mexico, fired the Unions and reproduced the same products at half the price, but thrice the volume.

  38. rodney dill says:

    Seceded from the Unites States of America.

  39. rodney dill says:

    revealed what the mystery cream filling in twinkies really was made of.

  40. Thor says:

    @ #21 Apostic: I wasn’t going there. What is understood need not be discussed.

  41. Writer says:

    …opened “underground bakeries” in California and Colorado selling “under the counter” to marijuana shops.

  42. CTCompromise says:

    @ #40 Thor: Let’s just say, it will make you Yodel.

  43. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …expressed concern that Michelle’s butt is too big to fail.

  44. rodney dill says:

    #43: teh funneh is HUGE.

  45. Keln says:

    @ #33 springeraz:

    I choose the winners of this, not Harvey. He’s completely off the hook for the contest part of this thing.

  46. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “After declaring bankruptcy, Hostess Bakeries…” […]

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