Straight Line of the Day: Breaking News! Found Inside a Voting Booth…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Breaking News! Found inside a voting booth…
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(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
November 6th, 2012 at 12:14 pm
…: our hope for a better future.
November 6th, 2012 at 12:24 pm
. . . the integrity of the main-stream media. Will return to anybody who can identify.
November 6th, 2012 at 12:24 pm
…the choice between good and evil.
November 6th, 2012 at 12:36 pm
…our self respect from four years ago. I was wondering where we’d left it,
November 6th, 2012 at 12:37 pm
Chris Matthew’s now useless leg. And his lunch.
November 6th, 2012 at 12:49 pm
Marty McFly, or Racheal Maddow. It’s hard to keep those two straight.
Obama Phones
Joe Biden’s Pants
A Brighter Future
Hillary’s magic “Reset” button
November 6th, 2012 at 12:51 pm
a Mitt Romney Voodoo Doll, a small Satanic Alter, burnt candles and multiple pictures of Obama smeared with lipstick
November 6th, 2012 at 12:52 pm
Oh, and…
a tear stained copy of Obama’s concession speach
November 6th, 2012 at 12:54 pm
…a tattered, ignored copy of the U.S. Constitution
November 6th, 2012 at 12:59 pm
. . . in Chicago were several extras from “The Walking Dead” in costume. Wait, “The Walking Dead” isn’t filmed in Chicago. Hey, huh, AHHHHH!
. . . Snoopy, Scooby Doo, Lassie, Pluto, & Benji voting for Romney.
November 6th, 2012 at 1:09 pm
……..Obama’s man parts. They fell out of Michele’s bag after she voted with them (she couldn’t find her lady parts-someone must have lent them out.
November 6th, 2012 at 1:25 pm
skeletal remains of recent voters
November 6th, 2012 at 1:50 pm
… Joe Biden trying to find his way out
Joe Biden in red and blue spandex: he was changing into SUPER BIDEN!
Were several ACORN workers “just making sure the machine was working right”
November 6th, 2012 at 1:52 pm
A BlackAn African American Panther waiting to assist you.November 6th, 2012 at 2:01 pm
…was the receipt for the last four years.
November 6th, 2012 at 2:04 pm
… was a big picture of Obama next to his “O” campaign symbol – oh wait that was just inside the voting room
(actually happening in PA)
November 6th, 2012 at 2:11 pm
…Joe Biden’s resume. -The handwriting is difficult to make out, but the fact it’s written in crayon is a dead giveaway it’s his.
November 6th, 2012 at 2:12 pm
shattered hopes and loose change
November 6th, 2012 at 2:13 pm
…the illudium Pu-36 explosive space modulator.
November 6th, 2012 at 2:13 pm
A Black Panther polling place observer.
November 6th, 2012 at 2:14 pm
Malarky… Joe Biden had just finished using the booth.
November 6th, 2012 at 2:17 pm
Sorry NO_MO_BAMA, I whipped out four before I went back and read through the list (GMTA)
November 6th, 2012 at 2:19 pm
for Obama, a jury of your peers
November 6th, 2012 at 2:31 pm
Joe Biden voting for Romney while whinnying that the job of VP is too hard and he doesn’t want to do it anymore.
November 6th, 2012 at 2:33 pm
* Joe’s binky.
* 350 absentee ballots from downtown Philly.
November 6th, 2012 at 2:44 pm
Bacon to 24
November 6th, 2012 at 3:00 pm
A rubber horse head mask.
November 6th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Michelle Obama’s pride for her country…
November 6th, 2012 at 3:35 pm
Tim Russert’s white board.
November 6th, 2012 at 3:48 pm
…an empty chair, which just cast a vote for Romney.
November 6th, 2012 at 3:49 pm
…in Chicago: Al Bundy, a copy of BigUns and a Ferguson.
November 6th, 2012 at 3:53 pm
Obama’s last horcrux.
@Bob in Feenicks #30 – wish I woulda thought of that one.
November 6th, 2012 at 4:15 pm
. . . Obama’s “present”.
. . . an undecided voter FINALLY decided.
. . . Joe Biden complaining there’s no place to make his finger purple for a cheesy photo-op, but he knows how to make it green. Next voter please!
November 6th, 2012 at 5:36 pm
…an undecided voter taking 2 craps to find out which one is shiner (they never really understood that phrase).
November 6th, 2012 at 6:14 pm
32. Obama IS the last horcrux.
November 6th, 2012 at 6:15 pm
…were Naked seductive pictures of President Obama on letterhead paper from Chris Mathews’s Desk.
…were Joe Biden’s long lost discharge papers from Mental Health Sanatorium.
…were Joe Biden’s G.E.D. and Obama’s canceled check from Arabic Shiek written to HARVARD University.
…was an ACTUAL EYE WITNESS to confirm Barack Obama’s presence at Harvard University! When questioned about the event, the witness said, ” Well first there was a BRIGHT FLASH! and then this circular craft landed and a hatch opened. Then a creature exited the craft and I got a good look at its face, it was BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA! He didn’t stay long, he said he was just dropping off a check.
(Of course I could have been mistaken, it really could have been BIG FOOT, ’cause of all of the drugs I was high on at the time.)
November 6th, 2012 at 7:13 pm
Breaking News! Found inside a voting booth…The start of the new “Occupy Voting Booth” movement; Which is expected to last until spring, or whenever the weather becomes nice enough to go back out and keep taxpayers away from enjoying public parks for months…in order to protest greed.
November 6th, 2012 at 8:34 pm
Hope and Change
Seventeen confused college freshmen
Clark Kent changing into Superman
The next iPhone prototype
List of dead but registered voters
The future of our country
November 6th, 2012 at 8:35 pm
Breaking News! Found Inside a Voting Booth… voters saying “We didn’t build that? Fine, you dope, take this!” and then voting for Romney.
November 6th, 2012 at 9:23 pm
Breaking News! Found Inside a Voting Booth… the keys to the Democrat party’s freaking failure machine. Hopefully someone threw them down a stormdrain.
November 7th, 2012 at 9:01 am
… The fat lady (Candy Crowley) singing.
November 7th, 2012 at 12:06 pm
…was the rope America used to hang itself.
November 7th, 2012 at 7:01 pm
[...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Breaking News! Found inside a voting booth…” [...]
November 8th, 2012 at 1:47 am
44 to 44
Congratulations on your win 44. You are the best, I even voted for you. This means I’ll finally get more time to goof off … gotta go … I might finish this after my golf game.
Note to 44 – send someone out to get some smokes.
44