Straight Line of the Day: Breaking News! Found Inside a Voting Booth…

Posted on November 6, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Breaking News! Found inside a voting booth…

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44 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Breaking News! Found Inside a Voting Booth…”

  1. DamnCat says:

    …: our hope for a better future.

  2. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . the integrity of the main-stream media. Will return to anybody who can identify.

  3. Son of Bob says:

    …the choice between good and evil.

  4. Vaktatunnen says:

    …our self respect from four years ago. I was wondering where we’d left it,

  5. Dohtimes says:

    Chris Matthew’s now useless leg. And his lunch.

  6. Hwy93 says:

    Marty McFly, or Racheal Maddow. It’s hard to keep those two straight.

    Obama Phones

    Joe Biden’s Pants

    A Brighter Future

    Hillary’s magic “Reset” button

  7. Carpenter says:

    a Mitt Romney Voodoo Doll, a small Satanic Alter, burnt candles and multiple pictures of Obama smeared with lipstick

  8. Hwy93 says:

    Oh, and…

    a tear stained copy of Obama’s concession speach

  9. jw says:

    …a tattered, ignored copy of the U.S. Constitution

  10. hadsil says:

    . . . in Chicago were several extras from “The Walking Dead” in costume. Wait, “The Walking Dead” isn’t filmed in Chicago. Hey, huh, AHHHHH!

    . . . Snoopy, Scooby Doo, Lassie, Pluto, & Benji voting for Romney.

  11. seanmahair says:

    ……..Obama’s man parts. They fell out of Michele’s bag after she voted with them (she couldn’t find her lady parts-someone must have lent them out.

  12. Jason says:

    skeletal remains of recent voters

  13. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … Joe Biden trying to find his way out

    Joe Biden in red and blue spandex: he was changing into SUPER BIDEN!

    Were several ACORN workers “just making sure the machine was working right”

  14. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    A Black An African American Panther waiting to assist you.

  15. Dohtimes says:

    …was the receipt for the last four years.

  16. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … was a big picture of Obama next to his “O” campaign symbol – oh wait that was just inside the voting room

    (actually happening in PA)

  17. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …Joe Biden’s resume. -The handwriting is difficult to make out, but the fact it’s written in crayon is a dead giveaway it’s his.

  18. rodney dill says:

    shattered hopes and loose change

  19. rodney dill says:

    …the illudium Pu-36 explosive space modulator.

  20. rodney dill says:

    A Black Panther polling place observer.

  21. rodney dill says:

    Malarky… Joe Biden had just finished using the booth.

  22. rodney dill says:

    Sorry NO_MO_BAMA, I whipped out four before I went back and read through the list (GMTA)

  23. tomg51 says:

    for Obama, a jury of your peers

  24. Rayfan87 says:

    Joe Biden voting for Romney while whinnying that the job of VP is too hard and he doesn’t want to do it anymore.

  25. FormerHostage says:

    * Joe’s binky.

    * 350 absentee ballots from downtown Philly.

  26. CarolyntheMommy says:

    Bacon to 24

  27. rodney dill says:

    A rubber horse head mask.

  28. Trestor says:

    Michelle Obama’s pride for her country…

  29. rodney dill says:

    Tim Russert’s white board.

  30. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …an empty chair, which just cast a vote for Romney.

  31. Dohtimes says:

    …in Chicago: Al Bundy, a copy of BigUns and a Ferguson.

  32. rodney dill says:

    Obama’s last horcrux.

    @Bob in Feenicks #30 – wish I woulda thought of that one.

  33. hadsil says:

    . . . Obama’s “present”.

    . . . an undecided voter FINALLY decided.

    . . . Joe Biden complaining there’s no place to make his finger purple for a cheesy photo-op, but he knows how to make it green. Next voter please!

  34. artvol11 says:

    …an undecided voter taking 2 craps to find out which one is shiner (they never really understood that phrase).

  35. seanmahair says:

    32. Obama IS the last horcrux.

  36. Logic_Mine says:

    …were Naked seductive pictures of President Obama on letterhead paper from Chris Mathews’s Desk.

    …were Joe Biden’s long lost discharge papers from Mental Health Sanatorium.

    …were Joe Biden’s G.E.D. and Obama’s canceled check from Arabic Shiek written to HARVARD University.

    …was an ACTUAL EYE WITNESS to confirm Barack Obama’s presence at Harvard University! When questioned about the event, the witness said, ” Well first there was a BRIGHT FLASH! and then this circular craft landed and a hatch opened. Then a creature exited the craft and I got a good look at its face, it was BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA! He didn’t stay long, he said he was just dropping off a check.
    (Of course I could have been mistaken, it really could have been BIG FOOT, ’cause of all of the drugs I was high on at the time.)

  37. CTCompromise says:

    Breaking News! Found inside a voting booth…The start of the new “Occupy Voting Booth” movement; Which is expected to last until spring, or whenever the weather becomes nice enough to go back out and keep taxpayers away from enjoying public parks for months…in order to protest greed.

  38. Doug says:

    Hope and Change
    Seventeen confused college freshmen
    Clark Kent changing into Superman
    The next iPhone prototype
    List of dead but registered voters
    The future of our country

  39. Bad Science says:

    Breaking News! Found Inside a Voting Booth… voters saying “We didn’t build that? Fine, you dope, take this!” and then voting for Romney.

  40. Bad Science says:

    Breaking News! Found Inside a Voting Booth… the keys to the Democrat party’s freaking failure machine. Hopefully someone threw them down a stormdrain.

  41. rodney dill says:

    … The fat lady (Candy Crowley) singing.

  42. Dohtimes says:

    …was the rope America used to hang itself.

  43. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Breaking News! Found inside a voting booth…” […]

  44. ∞² says:

    44 to 44

    Congratulations on your win 44. You are the best, I even voted for you. This means I’ll finally get more time to goof off … gotta go … I might finish this after my golf game.

    Note to 44 – send someone out to get some smokes.


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